Midlife Dimensions

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Christmas Day 2014

5:51 PM

Hopeful1

Bluesky3 I know, it's terrible but I'm really hoping it's temporary. My prayer last night was to pray that this is the first AND LAST Christmas apart. I know that's wishful thinking but a girl can dream and pray, right?

5:55 PM

swan

Hopeful1 - I believe in the power of positive thinking, there isn't any magic to it, but when we allow our minds to be filled with positive things, there is less room for the enemy to fill our minds with despair and hopelessness.

 


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December 25, 2014 / Thursday 4-7 pm PST / Special Christmas Day

4:01 PM

swan

Hello everyone, welcome to Christmas Day Chat

4:07 PM

Tiger

Merry Christmas to everyone!

4:55 PM

finding nemo

Swan - Merry Christmas

4:57 PM

swan

Hello finding nemo - how was your day?

5:23 PM

Hopeful1

Merry Christmas Swan! Stopping by for a quick minute in between festivities with my in-laws and kiddos.

5:24 PM

swan

Hey , hope your day was full of joy

5:26 PM

Hopeful1

Better than expected. Sent husband pics of the kids from this morning and thanked him for a few sweet gifts the "kids" got me. He seemed to want to point out they were from the kids but it was obvious he told them what I'd like to buy. Maybe just to make sure it was clear if other woman read the message?

5:28 PM

swan

Hopeful1 - He doesn't want you to know that he cares or that he is doing anything nice, too often they are worried that we will get out hope up, so they tend to rebut anything that might cause them to seem caring.

5:30 PM

Hopeful1

It was clear he picked it out. I think it was nice and sweet and said so. I also texted him how much he is missed and loved. Maybe shouldn't have but it was from my heart.

 

5:34 PM

swan

We all text and say things that maybe we shouldn't, sometimes it bites us, other times they accept it and agree, it is hard to know which way anyone of them will go. The good thing with midlife crisis is they also tend to forget so much after a time, so he might get miffed at first, and then next week be over it.

5:37 PM

swan

Hopeful1 - The kids had a good Christmas though? Is your husband in state or still across country?

5:38 PM

Hopeful1

He didn't acknowledge it one way or another. Yes, the kids had a great Christmas, husband is across the country with other woman

5:41 PM

swan

Hopeful1 - In the early years I would torture myself with thoughts of the wonderful times my husband was having with the other woman, especially at holidays. Only to later find out that they were fighting not having the great fun I imagined. Even now, they fight so much and my husband tells people he is miserable, he stays in his misery, which I don't understand, but... He will tell friends about how Christmas was when our kids were younger, when our grandson was little, etc. and then follow it with now it is just hell.

5:43 PM

Hopeful1

He called our S8 and left him a couple of messages and he sounded terrible. Is it wrong that I hope he is sick and miserable? LOL! Mentally and a little physically would be ok with me. How is your Christmas going?

5:46 PM

swan

Hopeful1 - Well it isn't exactly a kind thought, but it is a natural one. There are times I simply say, thy will be done and leave it to God, because my hurt doesn't feel much remorse for my husband at times. My Christmas has been going good. It was quiet for most of the day, my son, DIL and grandson just got home from my DIL's parents.

5:46 PM

swan

Hey Bluesky - how are you doing?

5:47 PM

Hopeful1

Merry Christmas Bluesky!

5:47 PM

Bluesky3

Hi you two. Merry Christmas.

5:48 PM

Bluesky3

Hopeful1 I am sorry your kids are without their father on Christmas. That just isn't right.

5:49 PM

Bluesky3

all, My husband once told me he was tired of going to his folks for vacations but that seems to be all he does now.

5:50 PM

Bluesky3

All, my daughter just got off the phone with family, and she said her dad actually wished me a Merry Christmas. He has never done that.

5:51 PM

Hopeful1

Bluesky3 I know, it's terrible but I'm really hoping it's temporary. My prayer last night was to pray that this is the first AND LAST Christmas apart. I know that's wishful thinking but a girl can dream and pray, right?

5:51 PM

Bluesky3

Got to go eat dinner.

5:51 PM

Hopeful1

Bluesky3 Praise for that Merry Christmas message

5:51 PM

Bluesky3

Great prayer, I will be back in a bit.

5:52 PM

swan

Bluesky3 - my husband spent so many years staying away from his family, there were times he was even in St. Louis for work travel and wouldn't visit them. Then all of a sudden every vacation we took was to Missouri, flying into St. Louis. We never contacted his family, but a place he claimed to hate and was never going back to became our only vacation place. And after his father passed away, suddenly his parents became the most wonderful people in the world and regret started showing.

5:53 PM

swan

Bluesky3 - That is cool that he did that, regardless of why, the fact is he did.

5:55 PM

swan

Hopeful1 - I believe in the power of positive thinking, there isn't any magic to it, but when we allow our minds to be filled with positive things, there is less room for the enemy to fill our minds with despair and hopelessness.

5:56 PM

Hopeful1

swan Yes, I agree completely about positive thinking. I have done much better than I expected last night and today and I think much of it is just focusing on the good things and I stop to read a little devotional or sing a praise song if I start to feel myself veering off course.

5:56 PM

Hopeful1

be right back got to dish up the pies!

5:59 PM

swan

Hopeful1 - That is a good strategy, I have always found praise music an awesome thing for me when I start veering off course, and it helps to set my mind back to God and His plans.

6:03 PM

swan

Hopeful1 - Yum pies, my favorite is cherry with a scoop of French vanilla.

6:06 PM

Hopeful1

swan yes; music soothes me in many ways. For about a month after husband told me he wanted to divorce I couldn't sing at all and it made me even sadder I think. Pies... my favorite! Tonight we have a double lemon, coconut cream and apple, good stuff!

6:07 PM

swan

Hopeful1 - double lemon? Don't think I have heard of that one

6:08 PM

Hopeful1

it's sort of like lemon meringue but with a layer of a lemony cream cheese, soooooo yummy! It's a huge hit, even with the kids!

6:09 PM

swan

Hopeful1 - I didn't think of that but adding some lemon juice to the egg whites and sugar would give it a new degree of flavor, sounds good.

6:10 PM

Hopeful1

Yes, this actually sort of replaces the meringue top "part" with a cream cheese lemon yumminess. It's a bit milder than traditional lemon meringue in general.

6:11 PM

swan

Hopeful1 - that sounds even better, I love the lemon filling, but not a fan of meringue, replacing that with lemon cream cheese sounds great. I will have to try this one for our family.

6:11 PM

Hopeful1

I'd love to give you the recipe but I cheated and bought it at Marie Callendars.

6:12 PM

swan

Hopeful1 - Google is great for finding things like recipes. Marie Callendars is awesome and way easier

6:12 PM

swan

Hey Buttons

6:13 PM

buttons

hey swan Merry Christmas

6:13 PM

swan

Hey Cricket - How are you tonight?

6:13 PM

buttons

Hey Cricket Merry Christmas

6:13 PM

Cricket

Sorry all, I had trouble logging in with my jetpack so took longer than I'd hoped. Merry Christmas.

6:13 PM

buttons

Hello Hopeful1 how are you tonight?

6:14 PM

Hopeful1

Hi Cricket and buttons! Merry Christmas!

6:14 PM

buttons

Hopeful1 Merry Christmas to you too :)

6:14 PM

Hopeful1

buttons Doing good. Watching the kids enjoy their Christmas presents and run all the sugar off, LOL!

6:15 PM

buttons

Hopeful1 hehehe, this is where I'm glad there's holidays after Christmas, unlike Halloween where they show up at school the next day and the days after high on sugar

6:15 PM

buttons

Hey Bluesky3 Merry Christmas

6:16 PM

Bluesky3

hi, buttons and Cricket, nice to see you. Merry Christmas

6:16 PM

Hopeful1

buttons LOL! I bet! Another 10 or so days before I send them back to school!

6:17 PM

Cricket

I was catching up. Thankfully I was able to read all the way back before the top disappeared.

6:17 PM

buttons

All it's been a very weird Christmas this year, weirder than normal. I mean one thing is our D being hurt and not fully "present", it's that our S has been distant since moving out (darn forgot to give him his mail), I didn't even know if or when he was coming today, we had dinner and started presents before he got here (our D was ready for bed already having been out part of the day), he and his dad are a bit distant towards each other, husband just seems distant.

6:17 PM

swan

buttons - good point, my grandson has had more sugar in the past couple days than he does most of the year and it is showing, his parents get to go to work tomorrow and he is with me, oh boy. I think I will send him out for a run before letting him get on the xbox to burn up some of the energy

6:17 PM

Cricket

Hey Bluesky, buttons, Hopeful1 - Merry Christmas to you all.

6:17 PM

buttons

Hopeful1 Yup, the Monday after the New Year

6:18 PM

buttons

swan Yup a good run and a bunch of climbing would be good too, we call it heavy work using the big muscles!

6:19 PM

swan

buttons - He is a swimmer and plays water polo, but even this week they are off from that, except for two days later in the week.

6:19 PM

buttons

All I know I am fortunate that my husband has mostly been home through all this however times like this make me feel odd.

6:20 PM

Cricket

All - My Sister & BIL and I open gifts on Christmas Eve so we did that when I got here last night. Today has been a nice relaxing day with lots of Christmas messages and calls from family & friends. I've had some trouble with my jetpack wifi, did a firmware update so hopefully it will work OK Saturday. More family is arriving Friday evening and we're doing a big family breakfast Saturday morning but as long as I can get on line here in the cabin, it won't be bad.

6:20 PM

buttons

swan funny, I was just reading the family letter from one of our realtors and one of his GSs is doing water polo too

6:20 PM

swan

Tiger was in earlier and had to leave, just got an email from her and she asked that I wish everyone a Merry Christmas from her.

6:21 PM

buttons

Cricket sounds wonderful, glad you are getting relaxing time and time with family too

6:21 PM

swan

buttons - It is a pretty intense sport, I enjoy going to his games and he is really good.

6:22 PM

Hopeful1

buttons I can't even imagine living with my husband right now. He's so distant, even on the phone that I think I'd be going crazy with him in the house. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow Aunt Cricket!

6:22 PM

Cricket

Hopeful1 - Sounds like you handled the message to your husband well. As swan said, they do think of us but they don't want us to have what they call false hope so they all tend to say the gifts are from the kids. Still many do nothing so the fact that he put real thought and effort into shopping with the kids, that's wonderful and it also shows he was really thinking of you and I'm sure thinking about you opening gifts with the kids and imagining what he was missing.

6:23 PM

buttons

swan cool

6:24 PM

Cricket

Buttons - YES I always feel sorry for the teachers when the kids go right back to school on that sugar hi or crash from the high.

6:24 PM

Hopeful1

Cricket yes, I'm sure you are right and I truly feel thankful for it.

6:24 PM

buttons

Hopeful1 everything happens for a reason and my husband being is the house is for a reason. I need to learn something, husband needs to see something, our "kids", whatever however it does pose challenges sometimes

6:24 PM

Cricket

Hey Bluesky3 - Nice to see you too.

6:25 PM

buttons

Cricket hehehe Halloween high is the worst because they are always back the next day unless if falls on a Fri or Sat

6:26 PM

Hopeful1

buttons I bet. You are right too, and what a great attitude! Don't get me wrong, I often wish he was home or at least in the same general area so I could see him more but I am afraid it would be so clear that he doesn't want to see me or talk to me that it would hurt even more. I guess I can't be pleased, right? LOL!

6:26 PM

Cricket

buttons - I'm sorry that this Christmas has had the strain & tension with your kids and husband. I'm sure you handled things well though.

6:26 PM

Cricket

buttons - Yup that was what I was thinking.

6:28 PM

buttons

Hopeful1 we are naturally like that, when my husband has gone away I've felt calmer and more relaxed however when he's home I am glad he's at least home. I've seen the distance, the cold shoulder, the happiness at chatting with someone else, etc. It does hurt however you can learn to ignore, let it go and turn it over to God, it's all learning process. I have become stronger in some areas as a result of all this however I know I have learning to do in other areas still

6:30 PM

buttons

cricket I did the best I could however right at this point, as I told a good friend, I am DONE, she asked with whom and I said, really, I'm just done right now. I'll be fine, just need to feel way more in control of some areas of life again (getting D's place clean, my car clean, my classroom clean will help, maybe)

6:30 PM

Cricket

Hopeful1 - I've said to buttons many times that her walk is harder. I had my husband home for 6 months and we walked on eggshells. It's even harder for those whose husband is home but secretly texting or on chat with someone. I had to say that when my husband left, as much as I didn't want him too, a huge weight was lifted. It still hurt but it wasn't so much in my face.

6:35 PM

Bluesky3

I am going to head out, watching a movie with my d and helping her crochet. Merry Christmas everyone.

6:35 PM

buttons

Bluesky3 night, Hugs and prayers, take care

6:35 PM

swan

Bluesky3 - Have a great evening and fun with your daughter

6:41 PM

Hopeful1

I'm going to sign off and get the kids in the baths and off to bed. Have a great holiday weekend everyone!

6:41 PM

buttons

Hopeful1 Night, have a wonderful evening and visit with family

6:42 PM

swan

Hopeful1 - have a great weekend, see you next time

 

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5:51 PM

Hopeful1

Bluesky3 I know, it's terrible but I'm really hoping it's temporary. My prayer last night was to pray that this is the first AND LAST Christmas apart. I know that's wishful thinking but a girl can dream and pray, right?

5:55 PM

swan

Hopeful1 - I believe in the power of positive thinking, there isn't any magic to it, but when we allow our minds to be filled with positive things, there is less room for the enemy to fill our minds with despair and hopelessness.

 

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Chat Room Acronyms

Guests often use acronyms to speed up their conversations. Here are a few examples for you:

I have been S from my H for 2 years. We have 3 children, S8, S13, and D16.
I have been Separated from my Husband for 2 years. We have 3 children, Son age 8, Son age 13, Daughter age 16.
  OW = Other Woman   AW  = Adulteress Woman   W  = Wife   OP = other person
  OM  = Other Man   AM  = Adulteress Man   H  = Husband   LBS = Left behind spouse
  D = divorce or daughter   S = son or sister or separated   XW  = ex-wife   GF = Girl Friend
  DIL = daughter-in-law   SIL = Sister-in-law or Son-in-law   XH  = ex-husband   BF = Boy Friend
  MIL = mother-in-law   MLC = Midlife Crisis   PG = Praise God   CS = Child Support
  FIL = father-in-law   MLD = Midlife Dimensions Ministry   PTL = Praise the Lord   ED = Erectile Dysfunction
  w/ = with   w/e = weekend   b/c = because   
  w/o = without   BRB / be right back   LOL / laughing out loud