Midlife Dimensions

www.MIDLIFE.com

Christmas Day - 2013

6:38 PM

Tiger

yoli - I went from my parents house to my first husband, then we got divorced, I had my kids, then I met and married my H, 2 kids were still home, they graduated and moved out, then it was only me and H, then He left, me all alone

6:40 PM

yoli

Tiger I even told my h to wait until younger daughter graduated and left. That it would be just the two of us. He said that's what scared him. So what is he doing now? All the things that I always wanted to do. Except he takes the woman everywhere, the woman has got it made.

 

 


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December 25, 2013 / Wednesday 5-6 pm PST / CR#2

5:08 PM

Little Magpie

Merry Christmas Yoli!

5:08 PM

yoli

Little Magpie Thank you. Merry Christmas to you as well.

5:08 PM

yoli

Little Magpie What did you to today to celebrate?

5:10 PM

Little Magpie

Yoli : We are at my parent’s house. We opened gifts with my brother, SIL and parents and our family of 4. How have you been? It's been a long time since I've seen you? I am sitting in a corner by myself while they watch Dr. Who.

5:10 PM

yoli

Little Magpie I'm good. I'm actually working right now. I worked on Monday so now I have reports to write.

5:10 PM

yoli

Tiger Hey, Merry Christmas

5:11 PM

Tiger

yoli - hey. Merry Christmas to you too

5:11 PM

yoli

Little Magpie Lol. That's funny. At least they will leave you alone, right?

5:11 PM

Tiger

Little Magpie - Merry Christmas

5:11 PM

Little Magpie

Merry Christmas Tiger!

5:11 PM

yoli

Tiger Thanks

5:11 PM

Little Magpie

Yoli at 11- Yes. They are watching the show in one area and I am sitting alone away.

5:12 PM

Little Magpie

How are you today Tiger?

5:12 PM

Tiger

Little Magpie - not good, but hey, it is what it is!!!

5:12 PM

yoli

Little Magpie They are watching Dr. Who? I couldn't find anything good to watch. So I'm watching Big Bang Theory.

5:13 PM

Little Magpie

Yoli Yes, Dr. Who is on BBC America right now.

5:13 PM

Tiger

Little Magpie - I’ll be glad when this day is over with, I’ll be glad when this year is over with, I’ll be glad when next year is over with

5:13 PM

yoli

Little Magpie I will see if I can find it. Thanks.

5:13 PM

yoli

Tiger I understand about today and this year, but why next year?

5:13 PM

Little Magpie

Tiger, What did you do? You are in my prayers! What did your children do? Were they with you??

5:15 PM

yoli

All At least we can celebrate Kwanzaa tomorrow.

5:15 PM

Tiger

all- I’m just tired of feeling like this, maybe after another 2 years, will be somewhat better, my kids? Nope, didn’t even talk to one of them. I had to work last night. got off at 8 am went to church, stopped by the one D, who lives near church. my S and other D went over there today and spent the day together with their dad.

5:16 PM

Tiger

all- just a bad day all around.

5:16 PM

Tiger

all- the girls cooked yesterday but my S had to work, he didn’t even come by today to see me.

5:17 PM

yoli

Tiger Oh, tiger, sorry about that. I don't know that it ever gets better as much as you just learn to accept things as they are.

5:18 PM

Little Magpie

Tiger I am so sorry to hear that.

5:18 PM

Tiger

yoli - well one day, maybe I can accept things. I did text H Merry Christmas, he responded and asked about the kids. I told him they had presents for him yesterday, he didn’t respond back to that. Christmas eve has ALWAYS been our family Christmas.

5:19 PM

yoli

Tiger It has been 7 years since my h left. My daughters spent Thanksgiving with their dad. He insisted that they go with him last night to eat. Younger daughter went to church with me this morning. She left as soon as we got home and has yet to come back. Older daughter had to work yesterday and today. I'm not very happy about that but I'm not going to make demands. They are free to do whatever they want to do.

5:20 PM

Tiger

yoli - I understand they can do what they want. I want SO bad to call H and try to be as mean as I can and tell him, that he has hurt me more than anybody else has even come close to in my entire 53 years on earth. Sometimes I want to hurt him as bad as he has hurt me.

5:21 PM

Little Magpie

We do Christmas with my side on Christmas and my H side the day after so our kids and grandparents get Christmas together.

5:21 PM

Tiger

all- sorry, I’m just venting

5:21 PM

yoli

Tiger I know that feeling. I've been tempted but would never do that. It really would not serve any purpose.

5:22 PM

Little Magpie

Tiger @5:20 it is understandable but I am learning through my counseling that it would not help and it could cause damage on the other side.

5:23 PM

yoli

Tiger You can vent here with us whenever you need to.

5:23 PM

Tiger

Little Magpie - damage on the other side of what?

5:23 PM

Tiger

Little Magpie - damage to H?

5:23 PM

Little Magpie

Tiger more damage to any chance of a relationship with him.

5:24 PM

Tiger

Little Magpie - sometimes I wonder if that is even possible anymore

5:24 PM

yoli

Tiger It can be. It just may take some time

5:25 PM

Tiger

all- I’m thinking about calling in sick to work tonight. It was cold here last night and I worked all night, got home and laid around all day dozing. Got up and been stupidly crying since. I don’t feel good

5:26 PM

yoli

Tiger Call in if you have the time.

5:26 PM

Tiger

yoli - I got all kinds of time

5:26 PM

yoli

Tiger Then do it

5:27 PM

Little Magpie

Tiger, The flu has been going around here. I ended up missing work last week because of it.

5:27 PM

yoli

Tiger Especially if you don't feel well. Sending you a big hug. Believe me, I know exactly how you feel. This isn't the first time I've been alone on a holiday and I know it won't be the last.

5:28 PM

Tiger

Little Magpie - My D33, GS10 had it.

5:29 PM

Little Magpie

Tiger Didn't they go to the Hospital because they were so sick?

5:31 PM

Tiger

yoli - I know. I was by myself for my birthday this year too. I went on a cruise, you know what really hurts? My kids who I have been so close to, don’t even think about how I must feel. My son hasn’t even called me today. Do you know not one of them even gave me a birthday card this year. I felt like I AM the bad guy all around and I haven’t done anything. I’m danged in my H's eyes and In my kids because I am standing for my marriage.

5:31 PM

Tiger

Little Magpie - yes, they were both hospitalized and who watched the other 2 as soon as I got back from my cruise

5:33 PM

yoli

Tiger You know what I have been told and found out is that our children, especially as they get older, are too busy living their lives. It's not that they don't care as much as they just don't have time. I never get a birthday card or gifts. When we try to go eat for Mother's Day or my birthday, it turns into a standoff. It has never been a good day. I don't think they feel that you are the bad guy. Maybe they just don't understand why you would want to stand and wait for your husband

5:34 PM

Beth

Hi ladies how are you?

5:34 PM

Little Magpie

Tiger I am sorry! I know that feeling. I have had several years when my children, H and my brother have seemed to forget my birthday and other special days.

5:34 PM

yoli

Beth Hey, how are you?

5:34 PM

Tiger

yoli - they don’t, my family thinks he’s a jerk

5:34 PM

yoli

Tiger Yeah, my family refers to my h as a Playboy.

5:35 PM

Beth

yoli I am tired now. Had a full day today.

5:35 PM

Little Magpie

Hi Beth. I don't think I have met you before.

5:35 PM

yoli

Beth Good for you. I bet it was fun.

5:36 PM

Beth

Little Magpie No you haven't but I have been around for several years now. How are you?

5:36 PM

Tiger

yoli - especially after the Sunday before last when OW posted a picture of them on FB, lunch after church with my H, makes me sick, and my whole family seen it and said something to me about it.

5:37 PM

Beth

yoli I would much rather someone else cooked dinner but thankful I had someone to have dinner with. I have been finding my back a lot too lately. probably over doing it.

5:38 PM

Beth

Tiger My H and ow has pictures on face book of them of them. I just do not look at it.

5:38 PM

yoli

Beth I'm not a fan of cooking either but I do it. I really don't like cleaning.

5:39 PM

yoli

Tiger Luckily my h doesn't have a face book account. But the woman does but it's closed so that only her friends can see her information.

5:40 PM

Beth

yoli I am not fussy about cleaning either yet I want it clean so I do it. I guess I cook a lot for myself so cooking Christmas Dinner would have been better if someone else had cooked it.

5:41 PM

Tiger

yoli - if I could, I would delete H and have my family do it also, but I know I can do that. I need to stay constant in this journey, if H wants to delete, than he can, not me

5:41 PM

yoli

Beth Yeah that's true to. This is the first year that I haven't had to cook everything. Cause that's what I do. Cook everything from scratch.

5:41 PM

Beth

yoli ow in my H's life has her profile open only to her friends too. That is fine with me.

5:41 PM

Tiger

Beth - Not my H's OW, she wants everyone to see who she has

5:42 PM

yoli

Tiger Yeah that's a good way to be. Sometimes I think that's the only thing that face book is good for it to create problems, especially for women like us.

5:42 PM

Beth

Tiger ow in H's life did too until lately. I am not sure why she changed it.

5:42 PM

yoli

Beth Yeah, I don't really care. Truthfully, I'm just tired of this whole journey. But it is what it is.

5:44 PM

yoli

All I was floored last night when younger daughter said she was going to church with her dad. I tried not to look like I was surprised. The woman is Jewish and don't think she would want to go. He hasn't gone much. So I think that may be an answer to prayer. I told Bill Farrell that my h needs saving more than him coming back. I need a lot of prayers as well.

5:44 PM

Beth

yoli yes it can make you tired of this journey and feel like you want it over. I sure do not know what else to do to get my H to open his eyes. It still hurts that he doesn't visit the children much and he is living in sin. I can only leave it to God.

5:45 PM

Little Magpie

Tiger I think your position is a good one to take and I am sorry that the OW is doing what she can to inflict pain. As far as holidays go, do you think that maybe you could plan to spend time with friends from church or something so you aren't alone?? Something open so if your kids wanted to join in they could??

5:46 PM

yoli

Beth Exactly. My h wants our daughters to respect him. I know older one doesn't respect him at all. He treats them like they are his employees. Lots of dysfunction in their relationship.

5:46 PM

Beth

Little Magpie Good idea or it is if there is something that a person can do. It depends on church you go to I guess.

5:47 PM

Beth

yoli I wonder will ever live long enough for my H to even apologize for what he has done.

5:47 PM

yoli

Little Magpie One of my prayer group friends invited me to spend the day with her family. It just felt awkward for me. I chose to stay home. I wanted to do some things that needed to be done. Doesn't change the fact that I'm by myself.

5:48 PM

yoli

Beth I think I've given up on that happening with mine. He doesn't think he's done anything wrong.

5:48 PM

Tiger

Little Magpie - The tough part is over. Thank goodness Christmas is over with and so is this day, almost. I know she is trying to inflict pain, she wants what I had, but the sad thing is, she'll never have what I had, never ever.

5:48 PM

Beth

yoli it isn't the same when a home is broken up. Nor when our parents pass on to a better land. Or even when our kids grow and move away. not everybody understands that.

5:50 PM

Little Magpie

Yoli and Beth We have invited people to join us and it has been good. It is always nice to spend time with people you don't usually get together with. Tiger, This Christmas is but there are others that are coming up.

5:50 PM

Tiger

Beth - I’m with yoli on that, they don’t think they have done anything wrong. I know quite awhile ago, over a year, I told my H I forgive him for everything, he said he hasn’t done anything to be forgiven for

5:50 PM

yoli

Beth Sometimes I wonder what my daughters would do if I had another man hanging around. How they would react to that. They seem to have accepted the woman even if they dislike her with a passion. But as my younger daughter said, if she makes him happy then that's fine. I know it's hard. I hate that my family is broken

5:50 PM

Beth

yoli Mine may not either or at least I never heard him say. I have text him a few times and he has replied and other times no reply. Not sure why he replies sometimes and not other times.

5:50 PM

Tiger

Little Magpie - well I don’t look that far ahead, one day at a time, remember

5:52 PM

Beth

Tiger I told my H I forgive him too but he never said anything.

5:52 PM

Little Magpie

Tiger I know but I have to plan things or I get anxious. We are going on a trip with my side of the family in a week or so and I am already telling my H that I might back out and stay home because I am already freaking out with nerves.

5:53 PM

yoli

Beth Mine has never initiated a text, call or email. When older daughter was passing kidney stones and I knew he was with her, he knew I needed answers and was responding to my texts. It's always like a shot in the dark to send mine a text. He usually doesn't respond.

5:53 PM

Beth

yoli my kids do not like ow but I believe they accept her to a point because they feel she is a part of dad's life so they feel they have to. At least that is what I believe.

5:55 PM

yoli

Beth Mine has figured that out and they play their dad. He's the one who makes all the money. So the nicer they are with him, the more he will spend on them. He bought them each luggage close to $1300 for a trip they are going on. Older daughter has told me that she can work him until he gives in. He has more money than he knows what to do with.

5:55 PM

Beth

yoli most times mine don't. Last winter our D was having a real bad back at time and I text him. His answers were anger. Not sure why unless they were having problems at the time.

5:57 PM

yoli

Beth His birthday was on 12/22 and this is the text that I sent him. "Good morning, just wanted to say that I prayed that you would have a Happy Birthday, and that God will keep you healthy and strong for many more years to come. So you can enjoy our future grandchildren. I always pray that you are at peace and content." What do you think? No response.

5:57 PM

Beth

yoli My H gives our D more for Christmas but then she is alone. I give her a bit more too. There is my son, DIL and 2 grandchildren to spend money on in that family. I am sure my H has more money than me. he works, getting his pension besides.

5:58 PM

yoli

Beth This is the second time I have texted him about my praying for him and that he is at peace. I know that he's not but he will never admit that he's not. He goes around telling people that he's so happy. Well my take on that is when someone is happy, they don't have to go around telling people.

5:59 PM

Tiger

all- I’m back. I just called my LT. and told him I wasn’t coming in tonight. I’m going to have some Nyquil and a shot or 2 or more of brandy

5:59 PM

yoli

Tiger See tiger, we have all experienced drama in this journey.

5:59 PM

Beth

yoli I would say he feels guilty and probably saying to himself I don't want her to pray for me. I hardly mention I am praying for him. I am sure he knows it anyway. God is dealing with him or I believe He is. So he will know someone is praying for him.

6:00 PM

Tiger

yoli - oh I know, it still stinks

6:00 PM

yoli

Tiger Yes it does. Despite all that has happened and been said, I miss my husband very much. I miss my family being together.

6:01 PM

Beth

yoli I don't think I would say I pray for him to have peace because really you do not want him to have peace with ow. I sure don't anyway. I did tell my H merry Christmas and hope he has a good day.

6:02 PM

Tiger

Beth - that’s what I say and I really don’t want him back right now. He is still too much into himself and too angry, let her deal with his anger issues. yoli - but you are so right. I do miss him so very much. I think God allowed us to be torn apart because I loved my H TOO much. much more than anything else, including God. But I’ve learned, God comes first now. If it hadn’t been for God. I hate to think where I would be

6:02 PM

Beth

yoli we all miss our families being together. It is never the same again even though we move on with our life. There is always that empty space there because we were as one.

6:04 PM

Beth

Tiger I believe a lot of us in this chat put our H's above God. He can allow this to happen to bring us closer to Him.

6:04 PM

Tiger

all- I just thought of something, we all sound like we are from the island of misfits, but WE aren’t the ones that are misfit, our H's are.

6:05 PM

Beth

Tiger Right on sister.

6:05 PM

Tiger

all- tomorrow is a brand new day!!!

6:07 PM

Beth

Yoli how long is chat opened tonight

6:07 PM

yoli

Tiger Yes it is

6:07 PM

yoli

Beth I think it's for 2 hours

6:07 PM

Little Magpie

Tiger What a classic Christmas movie reference. LOL!! Have a very blessed week. It's hard to picture that today is Wednesday already.

6:07 PM

Tiger

All- I think we all need to get a drink before we sign off, doesn’t have to be alcoholic, coke, tea, coffee, whatever

6:07 PM

yoli

Beth I may have to leave for a bit. Need to give myself a shot

6:08 PM

Little Magpie

Y

6:08 PM

Tiger

yoli - go get your shot, we will wait for you.

6:08 PM

Little Magpie

Yoli are you diabetic?

6:08 PM

Beth

yoli I am not sure if I can last until closing. I must be getting older because I am so tired.

6:08 PM

yoli

Little Magpie No I have RA and have been taking Humira shots

6:09 PM

yoli

Little Magpie But it's not really a shot. It's an Epi-pen

6:09 PM

Little Magpie

Yoli I have heard of that.

6:09 PM

Beth

yoli I thought Epi-pen was for allergies.

6:09 PM

yoli

Beth I think we all are. If you need to go, that's fine. I'll be around

6:10 PM

Tiger

all- I propose a toast to you lovely ladies. I am so very happy that I have met you all. Merry Christmas!!!!

6:10 PM

yoli

Beth No, it can be so you don't go into anaphylactic shock if you have an allergy. But this epi-pen has the Humira in it. I couldn't give myself the shot otherwise.

6:10 PM

Little Magpie

Tiger Cheers! and I will have a sip of water.

6:11 PM

yoli

Tiger Cheers. Thank you.

6:14 PM

Little Magpie

All my mother just asked the girls how long my counseling goes so I am going to take that as a hint that I should probably leave you soon. I am very thankful for everyone here too!!

6:14 PM

yoli

Little Magpie That's sweet. So you refer to chat as counseling? That's clever.

6:15 PM

Little Magpie

Yoli It is "Group Counseling" really.

6:15 PM

yoli

Little Magpie Got it.

6:15 PM

Tiger

Little Magpie - very smart. I never thought of it that way

6:15 PM

Beth

Little Magpie That is a good way to look at it.

6:17 PM

Beth

did everyone have a good day today?

6:17 PM

Beth

Tiger did you work today?

6:18 PM

Little Magpie

All I read a Jim Conway book about Adult Children of Legal and Emotional Divorce. My H suggested I read it because of my traumatic experience. In it Jim talks about going to a counselor, getting into a small group for counseling and spending time with God. You are my group piece. All of your input is very helpful and blessed.

6:18 PM

yoli

Beth It was okay. Love the church service this morning. It was beautiful. They made a manger and asked everyone to go up to it and pray to the infant Jesus.

6:19 PM

yoli

Beth We will actually celebrate tomorrow. That's okay.

6:19 PM

Tiger

Beth - I worked last night till 8 this morning. I came home and lay around all day. basically feeling sorry for myself. I did go to mass this morning too. but I just called my Lt. and told him I wasn’t feeling good, so I’m not coming in tonight

6:19 PM

Beth

yoli That was nice. I just thought about if everyone wrote a prayer requests and put it by Jesus would be nice too.

6:20 PM

yoli

Beth Oh yeah. I agree. I'll have to remember that for next time.

6:21 PM

Little Magpie

Yoli, are you facilitating this weekend?

6:21 PM

yoli

Little Magpie No, I'm not scheduled. I'm also leaving to see my parents and won't be back until after New Year

6:21 PM

Beth

yoli How come you celebrate tomorrow not today. certainly there is nowhere in the Bible that says Jesus was born Dec 25th

6:22 PM

yoli

Beth Because older daughter had duty yesterday and today. Her dad was texting her all day long with demands that she go to his house to eat with him. So we're celebrating tomorrow.

6:23 PM

Tiger

yoli -that’s nice

6:23 PM

Little Magpie

Yoli Enjoy your time with your family!! We have Christmas with my MIL and BIL tomorrow morning and then to my H uncle's home in afternoon. I think H uncle is with wife #5 or something like that.

6:23 PM

Beth

yoli I have heard of people doing that too for other reasons.

6:24 PM

yoli

Little Magpie I try but my parents are older and since my older brother died last year, they pretty much cry a lot. I know they are sad but they have 4 other children that are living. It's such a long drive to go home. It's an 8 hour drive.

6:25 PM

yoli

Beth Yeah. In my culture, the 24th is the day that Christmas is celebrated. We've had to do this before because my daughter's schedule is crazy and she has no control over it.

6:25 PM

Little Magpie

Tiger if I could, I would take you out for coffee and dessert to celebrate with you!! You sound so fun!!

6:25 PM

Beth

yoli That is a long way to drive.

6:26 PM

yoli

Beth Yeah it is. But I didn't want to spend money on a flight either. My sister has bought me a giant vase and wants me to bring it back. It will take up most of the room in the back of my car.

6:27 PM

Beth

yoli your D work? Here we exchange gifts with friends and maybe some family. then Christmas day when we were all home we open gifts 25th and cook our meal for lunch as you would call it. some cook for later in day.

6:27 PM

Tiger

Little Magpie - thanks. I have been told that I am a lot of fun. I use to be, but the last 20 months has really taken a lot from me. One of the ladies from church that I have known forever talked to me after church last Sunday. She told me my spark is gone. I held back from really crying, and she could see it and gave me a hug.

6:28 PM

Beth

yoli air tickets cause more around Christmas time too.

6:28 PM

yoli

Beth Yes, older daughter is a nurse and has to work every other Christmas. She was off last year so had to work this year. It may be different next year since she will be finishing up with her degree to be a Nurse Practitioner.

6:29 PM

Beth

I am going to bed. Had a long day and been busy.

6:29 PM

Tiger

Beth - good night.

6:29 PM

yoli

Beth Yes they do. Plus it's a hassle to get to the airport, pay for parking. I wouldn't have anyone to take me or pick me up here so it would be even more money.

6:29 PM

Beth

yoli Ok I know who that is as both of us did shift work and worked every second Christmas too.

6:29 PM

yoli

Beth Okay Beth, thanks. glad you were able to come in today.

6:30 PM

yoli

Beth Yeah, it can be rough

6:30 PM

Beth

yoli yes it is a lot of work plus expensive.

6:30 PM

Little Magpie

Tiger I know it has been hard. My transition this past year has been really hard on my H. He feels like he has been giving so much but not receiving much. His emotions are spent so he needs to be filled back up. I am trying to fill that area of his life with some energy. Beth have a blessed week and thank you for tonight.

6:30 PM

Beth

Good night all.

6:31 PM

yoli

Beth Yeah. The only thing that concerns me is that I go by myself. I did it last year. I know I'll be okay and I have a cell phone so I'll be fine

6:31 PM

Little Magpie

Yoli you are going alone?

6:32 PM

yoli

Little Magpie Yea, everything that I do is alone. What a sad life I have

6:32 PM

Tiger

yoli - I was the same way when I went to my nieces wedding last month. I had no one to take me to the airport so I ended up paying like $50 to park, then when I came back, I forgot where I parked, walked around the parking lot crying.

6:33 PM

Little Magpie

Yoli I wish I was close to you too! I have spent a lot of time alone and am now wanting to build relationships that I have been too scared to try and build.

6:34 PM

Tiger

Little Magpie - I HATE being alone. I really do

6:34 PM

yoli

Little Magpie There are several people here from Midlife chat. I met one and she lives really close to me. I attempted to meet a few others but they live in other cities.

6:34 PM

yoli

Tiger Yeah, me to. But after 4 years of being all alone, I don't even think about it now.

6:34 PM

Tiger

yoli - yeah like me. I invited you to a ball game last year.. lol

6:35 PM

yoli

Tiger Yeah and I would have gone. You're just a little too far away for me.

6:35 PM

Little Magpie

Tiger I do too and my youngest D is the one who spends the most time with me. I LOVE you guys!!

6:36 PM

yoli

All The retreats were a nice way to meet people in person. I was able to go to 2 of them. Loved it.

6:36 PM

Tiger

all- when my H left me almost 20 months ago, that’s the first time in my life, I was very alone, the first time

6:36 PM

Tiger

Little Magpie - we love you too

6:37 PM

yoli

Tiger Oh, Tiger. I'm sorry. But you're a busy woman and that helps a lot. My younger daughter was still home when husband left. But she graduated from high school and left.

6:38 PM

Little Magpie

Tiger that can be looked at as a blessing that you were never alone. I spent time at college and working so I was alone for several years. I didn't have many friends growing up so was alone a lot then too. Yoli do they still have retreats?

6:38 PM

yoli

Tiger She played club volleyball so we were always on the go. We would go to lots of tournaments from December through May. so I was always with other people.

6:38 PM

Tiger

yoli - I went from my parents house to my first husband, then we got divorced, I had my kids, then I met and married my H, 2 kids were still home, they graduated and moved out, then it was only me and H, then He left, me all alone

6:39 PM

yoli

Little Magpie It's been a while since they haven't had one. I think it's been at least 2 maybe 3 years. Since Bill lives in California, the last one was there.

6:40 PM

yoli

Tiger I even told my h to wait until younger daughter graduated and left. That it would be just the two of us. He said that's what scared him. So what is he doing now? All the things that I always wanted to do. Except he takes the woman everywhere, the woman has got it made.

6:40 PM

Little Magpie

Yoli sounds fun! Maybe they will have another one. I looked at Bill and Pam's schedule on their website and it is filling up fast.

6:41 PM

yoli

Little Magpie Yeah they are extremely busy. They were at the retreat that I went to when Jim transferred MLD to him. Bill and Pam are amazing people. I'm surprised some of the old timers haven't brought up a retreat.

6:42 PM

Little Magpie

Yoli @6:40 I am sorry that you H did that. I know that our nest will be empty soon so I have been spending time with my H this summer just the two of us. My MIL watched our teens.

6:45 PM

yoli

Little Magpie We haven't lived near family for 17 years. When we first moved from our hometown, we took my in-laws with us. My FIL was terminal and my MIL wouldn't have made it by herself. He died 3 weeks after we moved. My MIL stayed in the same town with us for a few years but ended up leaving. Then we moved to where we live now and it's always just been us. So we were never able to leave the girls with anyone. Plus they were always busy doing things, primarily sports. I think that was part of the problem we had

6:45 PM

Tiger

Little Magpie - that’s nice, my H and I were alone a lot and we did SO much together, more than I could ever have dreamed, the best times of my life were with him.

6:47 PM

Tiger

Little Magpie - you know he has told me recently that we did so much that we have so much history together. I wanted so bad to say, then come back so we can work on our marriage

6:48 PM

Tiger

- I know he has to remember as much as I do.. everything reminds me of him

6:48 PM

Little Magpie

All I/We are working on restoring our brokenness. The trauma caused a lot of brokenness in so many areas of our relationship. Tiger Keep your trust in our heavenly father. God can do anything.

6:48 PM

yoli

Tiger Little Magpie Yes there is so much history between us and our husbands. My h and I have the girls. He was in the delivery room with me when they were born. There's no one else in this world that will be able to share in that. But it doesn't seem to matter to him.

6:49 PM

yoli

Little Magpie I like your attitude. God can do anything. Amen.

6:50 PM

Tiger

Little Magpie - I do trust in Him. I know God can do anything. He has told me.. not to give up. I really do have faith that we will be back together again. My BF keeps telling me he'll be back as does his retired secretary, also some others.

6:51 PM

yoli

All Just saw this on face book. think it's a good one to share. Always remember that your present situation is not your final destination. The best is yet to come.

6:51 PM

Little Magpie

Yoli I am learning to Trust HIM more. Through counseling and my chats with Bill, I am learning that though the bad happened it wasn't HIS lack of Love for me that caused it to happen.

6:51 PM

Tiger

Little Magpie - I get down sometimes, but I’m only human

6:52 PM

yoli

Little Magpie Yes, nothing that has happened to any of us was due to His lack of love. We live in a fallen world and I do believe that Satan is always on the prowl.

6:55 PM

Little Magpie

Yoli and Tiger these things are so true. God is our Hope and that is what Today, Christmas is about. God sending us a way to be reconciled with HIM because we are separated by our sin. When Jesus was born of a virgin and died on the cross, he paid our sins so we could be reconciled with HIM. So thankful. I just need to keep from allowing myself to be sucked into the lies of Satan.

6:56 PM

yoli

Little Magpie We all do. It's so easy since we live in this world. I make 2 steps progress and then go back 3. But we are also just human. If we were anything else, we wouldn't be living in this world. Or at least that's how I see it.

6:57 PM

Little Magpie

Yoli good point! It's almost 7 pt so I probably should let you both go.

6:58 PM

yoli

Little Magpie I need to go as well but didn't want to leave you guys in here alone

6:59 PM

Little Magpie

God's Blessings on you both!! Praying that the Lord will fill you both with peace this week as we go our ways.

6:59 PM

yoli

Little Magpie Thank you. Take care

7:00 PM

yoli

Tiger Is everything okay?

 

 

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6:38 PM

Tiger

yoli - I went from my parents house to my first husband, then we got divorced, I had my kids, then I met and married my H, 2 kids were still home, they graduated and moved out, then it was only me and H, then He left, me all alone

6:40 PM

yoli

Tiger I even told my h to wait until younger daughter graduated and left. That it would be just the two of us. He said that's what scared him. So what is he doing now? All the things that I always wanted to do. Except he takes the woman everywhere, the woman has got it made.

 

 

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Chat Room Acronyms

Guests often use acronyms to speed up their conversations. Here are a few examples for you:

I have been S from my H for 2 years. We have 3 children, S8, S13, and D16.
I have been Separated from my Husband for 2 years. We have 3 children, Son age 8, Son age 13, Daughter age 16.
  OW = Other Woman   AW  = Adulteress Woman   W  = Wife   OP = other person
  OM  = Other Man   AM  = Adulteress Man   H  = Husband   LBS = Left behind spouse
  D = divorce or daughter   S = son or sister or separated   XW  = ex-wife   GF = Girl Friend
  DIL = daughter-in-law   SIL = Sister-in-law or Son-in-law   XH  = ex-husband   BF = Boy Friend
  MIL = mother-in-law   MLC = Midlife Crisis   PG = Praise God   CS = Child Support
  FIL = father-in-law   MLD = Midlife Dimensions Ministry   PTL = Praise the Lord   ED = Erectile Dysfunction
  w/ = with   w/e = weekend   b/c = because   
  w/o = without   BRB / be right back   LOL / laughing out loud