Midlife Dimensions

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Easter - 4/24/11

6:32 PM

digforhelp

Cricket - it's a very hard thing to deal with. it like night and day. After yesterday I was totally surprised that she hugged me today and even said how good I looked.

6:33 PM

Cricket

digforhelp - THAT really was good - Try not to react too much when she treats you well, thank her and all that, but don't show how excited or great it feels. Sometimes if we react too much, it scares them and they pull away. I know it's hard but try to remember how much turmoil she's in

 


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April 24, 2011 / Sunday 6-7 pm PST / CR#1

6:02 PM

Swan

Hello everyone, welcome to Midlife Dimensions Sunday evening chat.

6:02 PM

hepsy

hi swan

6:03 PM

Swan

hepsy - how are you tonight?

6:03 PM

hepsy

swan - doing well. had a wonderful visit with my kids. what about you?

6:03 PM

hepsy

hi cricket

6:04 PM

Swan

Hi Cricket and koko, how are you tonight?

6:04 PM

Cricket

Happy Easter all - My sister posted this, so simple but so true.   "One Man on a Cross + 3 Nails = All Forgiven - I am so thankful for the Lord's sacrifice, Jesus suffering and can't even imagine but sooo thankful!

6:04 PM

Swan

hepsy - doing good, went to church this morning then enjoyed a nice quiet afternoon catching up on some work.

6:05 PM

Cricket

I'm good - I typed this 3 times before I was allowed to post but as I think about it, how appropriate that I did type it THREE times....

6:06 PM

hepsy

hi bumblebees#2 - how are you?

6:06 PM

koko

hi all Happy Easter, doing ok tonight watching the Dove awards

6:06 PM

Cricket

YES I enjoyed church this morning too. Our church put on a free community Easter Egg Hunt - 10th year.   This year, two families attended church with us from that Easter Hunt for the first time... and the couple sitting next to me both accepted the Lord this morning...PTL We are a small church and we did the free Easter Egg Hunt yesterday.   Although we are small, many people volunteer & serve in doing this.

6:07 PM

bumblebee#2

Happy Easter to all... I have praise!   The day was a lot better than I thought it was going to be.   Since this affair began, holidays are soooo hard.

6:08 PM

Cricket

bumblebee#2 - Share Away - YES we normally warn people that holidays are very hard... but to keep in mind that our spouses are thinking of us too at holidays even though we don't know it, we've learned that they do.

6:09 PM

bumblebee#2

Cricket, Praise The Lord!   It is always so exciting to hear of people coming to know Christ as their Savior.

6:09 PM

Cricket

Welcome Faithful, Hepsy & koko

6:10 PM

Swan

Cricket - What a wonderful day to give one's life to Christ, on the remembrance of His gracious gift to us.

6:10 PM

faithful

Cricket and all good evening and Happy Easter.

6:11 PM

Cricket

Swan - Yes it was an even better as I know this couple and they are very nice. The Mom shared that her 5 yr old D is asking questions and she didn't have answers.   She said she went to church as a child but drifted away and with her 5 yrs old, knew they needed to get back to church...

6:11 PM

faithful

all I have a praise. I invited h to come over and see the kids for Easter and he showed up. He just left. He was here for 3 hours. It was no nice and relaxing we just talk and he kept referring to the house as ours so I started agreeing with him that it is our house.

6:11 PM

bumblebee#2

Cricket, H stayed here with us most of the day and went out to dinner with me and our S26. Now H is just off with the neighbors goofing off. We were all in good spirits; I tried to remember to keep it light. It was fun.

6:12 PM

koko

Cricket. our church put on a tremendous performance last night called The Event. the life of Christ. over 150 performers in this play it was amazing. Service this morning was great too. We had people’s stories of accepting the lord. a few of them told of broken marriages and how prayer and God healed their marriages and spouses, I noticed my W crying when these stories were told

6:12 PM

hepsy

hi chapman

6:12 PM

Cricket

faithful - PTL - That is wonderful.... we treasure each baby step back... sounds like this was a few baby steps... VERY GOOD!

6:12 PM

Chapman

hepsy Hi and hi to everyone! Happy Easter

6:13 PM

hepsy

chapman - how was your weekend?

6:13 PM

MAS

Happy Easter everyone.

6:13 PM

Chapman

hepsy Good thanks. I surely have missed my H today

6:13 PM

Cricket

bumblebee#2 - ANOTHER PRAISE... let's keep those praises coming. GREAT that you kept it light, no serious or relationship talks and the more laughter the better. They crave being able to laugh so wonderful!

6:14 PM

Joannie

hey guys, happy Easter!!!!!

6:14 PM

Cricket

Hi Chapman, digforhelp & Joannie - happy Easter

6:14 PM

hepsy

chapman - what did you do?

6:14 PM

Chapman

Cricket Happy Easter to you too!

6:14 PM

faithful

Cricket you know our tradition is to feel empty egg shells and fill them with confetti. Well I save some if he came over and put some in his Easter basket so he could crack them on the boys head. Well guess what he cracked one on my head.

6:14 PM

Joannie

sorry late, prayer line ran long and I was filling in for Alaneous!

6:14 PM

MAS

Happy Easter everyone.

6:14 PM

bumblebee#2

Cricket I tried to remember the advice to just keep it light.   We went out to eat together with S26. It was fun talking with him and catching up on his life. With work and school, it is hard to do that.

6:14 PM

digforhelp

hello and happy Easter. Jesus is Risen!!

6:15 PM

Cricket

koko - Wonderful - The Lord works in many ways we don't have a chance to witness, wonderful that you had a chance to glimpse His work in your W.

6:15 PM

hepsy

hi dogwood how are you?

6:15 PM

Cricket

faithful - EVEN BETTER --- I am laughing & smiling with you.... PTL

6:16 PM

Cricket

HI - MAS - I missed you at first, but see you now. Happy Easter.   OH - ALSO dogwood too!

6:16 PM

Chapman

hepsy - visited with friends and family. Went to church this morn and got together with friends this evening

6:16 PM

Joannie

faithful that made me really smile - PTL for you!!!!!!

6:17 PM

Cricket

koko - I attend a very small church - but I can imagine The Event you describe, sounds incredible.

6:17 PM

Joannie

Hi wiffe!!!!

6:17 PM

hepsy

chapman - that's nice. My kids came home from college. I enjoyed their visit.

6:17 PM

faithful

Cricket inside I am all smiles but I try not to show it in front of the kids. My sister calls my h my boyfriend and my daughter did to. I told him he was not because he does not even give me a hug when he leaves. She told me but you guys talk and talk the whole time.

6:17 PM

Chapman

hepsy = So glad they came home!

6:18 PM

dogwood

all Here I am. Thank God for an uneventful Easter. Although felt anxious and low this morning, even in the church; but very good now-- thank God that I can come home this afternoon without fear or sad feeling. Spent night at D's house and went to a church near their house and had brunch lunch in restaurant.

6:18 PM

hepsy

chapman - yes... it was so nice. H continued to isolate and was pretty much non-communicative.

6:19 PM

Cricket

Hi Chapman - Sounds a perfect way to celebrate Easter.   Easter is always a little hard for me as it was a very special time with my Mom. We always had a big family BBQ @ my Mom's and she hid Easter Baskets for all of us. My H used to offer the little kid’s cash to find his basket as my Mom hid it so hard. I always miss my Mom who was my best friend, but more so at Easter.

6:19 PM

wiffe

Hi all

6:19 PM

hepsy

dogwood - that is a praise

6:19 PM

Joey

{{{{Cricket}}}}}

6:19 PM

koko

Cricket, they do it every other year, the tickets are free they put on 7 or 8 performances and this is a small church.

6:20 PM

hepsy

mas - how was your weekend?

6:20 PM

Cricket

faithful - That is wonderful. Hopefully they don't tease too much in front of your H as sometimes they get scared and worry that they can't commit to us. Keeping it light and fun as you are is perfect. You're doing a great job

6:20 PM

hepsy

hi lalachrissie - did you have a nice weekend?

6:20 PM

Joey

hi lalachrissie!

6:21 PM

lalachrissie

hi everyone

6:21 PM

dogwood

Cricket hugs! missing your Mom...

6:21 PM

lalachrissie

hepsy I did have nice weekend. amazing, actually!

6:21 PM

hepsy

lalachrissie - amazing? do tell!!

6:21 PM

lalachrissie

dogwood how are you?

6:22 PM

Cricket

dogwood - Yes I always miss her but now more so. I have no family near me and she's been gone for over 10 years but I always miss her extra at Easter.

6:22 PM

faithful

Cricket they do not they do it when he is gone. My sister is actually co

6:22 PM

Chapman

Cricket - Your Mom must've been a special lady. I know you miss her. On Easter, my father would always give my Mom and me Easter corsages.   My H continued the tradition and would give one to me and to our daughter. of course, this year my H is gone. Yesterday, the florist delivered a corsage to me from my 22 yr old college son. What a kind, sweet thing for him to do!

6:22 PM

lalachrissie

hepsy got a birthday text from h yesterday. and got hit on by one very famous Hollywood star at the Easter egg hunt.

6:22 PM

hepsy

chapman - what a sweet son you have... that is so special...

6:23 PM

Joey

Chapman how sweet was that!!!!

6:23 PM

dogwood

lalachrissie PTL

6:23 PM

MAS

hepsy Hi hepsy! Mine was actually better than I expected. If there's anything I've learned along this journey it's not to have any expectations, so I didn't. I was planning to spend my day at home alone and catch up on my tapes and reading. As it turned out, my mother and brother came over to spend the afternoon, and my daughter stopped by for awhile as well. PTL! How are you doing?

6:23 PM

bumblebee#2

chapman Wow, that is precious. What a wonderful son!

6:23 PM

Joey

Hi Mary Sarah!!!!

6:23 PM

wiffe

All H took a picture of me today on his phone. He was so tired.   Funny on the pic. After he saved it the pic was like "burned" into his screen.   LOL He looked so sad. He even just sounded sad on the phone. He left his aunts and then went home to the apt by himself. That has to be so hard. I wish and pray he listens to God.

6:23 PM

Cricket

koko - Sounds wonderful. My church lost several members, some went to plant a new church & others moved away so now we only have about 40-50 adults and some youth & children. The Easter Egg Hunt we put on draws 300-400 people (parents & kids) so it's great to see so many help & contribute to buying all the eggs & candy.

6:23 PM

MAS

lalachrissie Hi, how was your Easter and your birthday?

6:23 PM

faithful

MAS PTL and I am glad your d stop by to see you.

6:23 PM

Chapman

All - yes that was SO kind and special. He is a wonderful son and I am thankful.

6:23 PM

MarySarah

Joey, hey what we were just talking about recently, the Salvation Army has confidential, free case workers for people in the situation we were discussing for that friend

6:24 PM

lalachrissie

dogwood I know! I was not expecting anything and he sent a very sweet text, asked about D and then sent another text to make sure I knew he was really texting about my birthday

6:24 PM

hepsy

lalachrissie - wow! that is amazing! You sound like you are glowing! :}

6:24 PM

Swan

lalachrissie - that must have been a nice little confidence boost, and it is always wonderful whenever our spouses acknowledge our birthdays.

6:24 PM

Joey

MarySarah thanks I will remember that!!!

6:25 PM

MAS

Cricket So sorry you're feeling down about your mother.

6:25 PM

lalachrissie

all just realized I wasn't here on Friday night. d13 called from school on Friday, crying.   had to take her to the doctor. she has a broken foot!

6:25 PM

Cricket

Chapman - THAT IS WONDERFUL... you have a special son, very considerate. You brought a tear to my eyes in that. My sister tries to do the things my Mom always did, she sends me flowers for Valentines & other special times and calls to check on me even though she had family with her.   SO... I have a special sister

6:25 PM

faithful

lalacrhissie I am so sorry. How is she?

6:25 PM

koko

Digforhelp. quiet tonight how was your weekend

6:25 PM

wiffe

all a 4 year old cute thing. My D4 wanted daddy to come to the house. I was like Pray about it. I was like close your eyes and tell God what you want. So she did. I'm not sure what she said but she closed them and talked to him...   I'm teaching her.

6:25 PM

Joey

Cricket yes, you do!!!!

6:26 PM

Cricket

faithful - That is great... they obviously understand and can tease you ... perfect.

6:26 PM

hepsy

lalachrissie - goodness! how did that happen?

6:26 PM

MarySarah

Joey, Also, although I agreed with some advice for that person given about changing our response, I can say that in younger years when I was more submissive than ever in my own life, not provoking, not defensive or angry, I found myself in a very sudden situation when things did get immediately physical without influences of any substances & again, no provocation.

6:26 PM

Chapman

Cricket - Wow. What a special sister you do have! What a treasure

6:26 PM

lalachrissie

hepsy/Swan I must glowing and it was definitely a confidence boost that my h texted. At first I cried, but then I realized it is a good thing

6:26 PM

MAS

lalachrissie A birthday text from your H? That's wonderful!

6:26 PM

dogwood

lalachrissie That is such a wonderful sign!! Mine actually turned to the worse; I thank God that I survived yesterday. although was so overwhelmed and heartbroken that I missed one of the highway to turn when driving to my daughters last night--ended up taking longer

6:27 PM

MAS

faithful Thank you. Am also glad things are going better for you.

6:27 PM

Joey

lalachrissie yes it was!!!!! whoo hoooo smiling for you!

6:27 PM

Joey

Hi Yoli!!!!!

6:27 PM

Cricket

lalachrissie - HEY - We'll just keep the praises coming... Faithful had a praise as did bumblebee and so did koko - God is really working in this special time of His.

6:27 PM

digforhelp

koko - a rollercoaster. Saturday BAD. today GOOD. Had dinner with my wife's mother today. all the family was there. had a very good time. wife was very nice to me today. she even complimented how I looked. :) Saturday was a totally different story and I'm just trying to forget it.

6:27 PM

yoli

Joey: Hey, how are you?

6:27 PM

lalachrissie

hepsy still from her accident. the surgeon said little things are going to start popping up because we were only working on the severe injuries and her body is still so out of whack

6:28 PM

Chapman

digforhelp - Did your W go with you to church for Easter today?

6:28 PM

digforhelp

Chapman - no

6:28 PM

MarySarah

Joey I recently saw a case worker there for my own healing but have not yet gone to any support meetings, I went to acknowledge what I had dealt with emotionally & such for many years & to heal, learn new ways not to enable others' bad behavior towards me for both my sake & theirs enabling is NEVER loving

6:28 PM

MAS

Cricket @27: Don't forget mine!!

6:28 PM

Joey

yoli I'm getting better, been dealing with some anger toward my cousin for going back with an alcoholic boyfriend AGAIN!

6:28 PM

koko

Digforhelp remember the good days

6:28 PM

lalachrissie

dogwood I think your h just wanting a separation is a good thing and not worse. It shows he is truly conflicted.

6:29 PM

faithful

Cricket h told me they are going to reevaluate his child support and might be taking more out of his check. I told him not worry that I would give him the difference back.

6:29 PM

MAS

MarySarah Hi, how are you?

6:29 PM

MarySarah

MAS @:26 WOW Happy Birthday That is great, I haven't had that experience at all YET, but I know I will soon!

6:29 PM

digforhelp

koko - yes. I am just giving it all to God. both good and bad.

6:29 PM

Cricket

MAS - Thank you. It wasn't as hard this year as I visited with close friends and then attended a BBQ that my pastor & his wife hosted with another couple this afternoon. But always a time I am reminded of how much I miss my Mom. She really was an Angel and devoted her lives to her kids. She lived near me and we did many many things together,   She even came out and rode on patrol with me on grave shift... okay she slept a lot but she was there with me.

6:29 PM

Swan

Joey - Oh, I am glad you are dealing with the anger, but it really hurts when we see loved one's habitually repeating dangerous behaviors.   Lifting you and the situation up in prayer.

6:30 PM

yoli

Joey: I’m sorry about that. Isn't going back to a boyfriend like that like an addiction? Just wondering. Everything seems to be an addiction these days.

6:30 PM

MAS

lalachrissie @28 That is just what I told dogwood today also.

6:30 PM

Chapman

All - I want to be able to tell my H that everyone at church misses him and loves him but I think my telling him that might be counterproductive. Do y'all agree? I have to pray for wisdom everyday as to what to say to my H when he contacts me.   I miss those easy days of talking about any and every thing.

6:30 PM

Joey

Swan it’s been bad, I couldn't focus on the reason for today at church this morning but the prayer line helped me tonight.

6:30 PM

faithful

MAS how is your relationship with your daughter going?

6:30 PM

MAS

MarySarah @29 That was lalachrissie.

6:31 PM

MarySarah

MAS not bad, my kids were away with H & OW over a week & it was really tough. Plus my in-laws met them there & my MIL tried plant garbage in our youngest's head to justify the adultery & said I needed find guy friend, etc...how highly they think of ow, gagggggg

6:31 PM

Cricket

digforhelp - They are constantly on a rollercoaster - it has nothing to do with us but just part of mlc... can you imagine life like that... constant roller coaster.

6:31 PM

MarySarah

MAS well it will happen for you too!

6:31 PM

Joey

yoli I would say so. :(

6:31 PM

MarySarah

lalachrisse Praise YHWH for that text!

6:31 PM

Swan

Chapman - Definitely counterproductive

6:32 PM

Chapman

Swan Ok. Thanks

6:32 PM

lalachrissie

MarySarah thank you! it was the best present ever and really unexpected. Little things mean so much when you have no expectations.  

6:32 PM

Cricket

MAS - I remember I saw that your Easter wasn't as bad as you expected & then something distracted me & I didn't get to read the rest & then it was gone... I hate to ask, but could you please restate it for me, I really wanted to know. :)

6:32 PM

digforhelp

Cricket - it's a very hard thing to deal with. it like night and day. After yesterday I was totally surprised that she hugged me today and even said how good I looked.

6:32 PM

lalachrissie

all h also came by in the middle of the night and left an Easter gift for the girls at the front door.

6:33 PM

MarySarah

lalachrissie, please refresh my memory, H is home or not? no ow, correct?

6:33 PM

yoli

Joey: Husband has a cousin that seemed to always end up with guys that were real jerks. The guy she ended up marrying called the wedding off the first time around.   Kind of sad cause they ended up divorced. The last I knew, she was shacking up with a guy that is also divorced and has some kids.   She has 1 daughter but she's in college now. Isn't life interesting sometimes?

6:33 PM

MAS

faithful Well, today was the first time I've had any contact with her at all since the dryer incident. Things went well, but again, I have no expectations.

6:33 PM

Joey

digforhelp we'll call that a praise of the day!!!! :)

6:33 PM

dogwood

lalachrissie No, he called yesterday asking what is my plan for a true separation; my timeline for leaving? or staying in the house, etc. He made it very clear that he does not want restore our marriage now.   He wants me to come up with a plan.

6:33 PM

Cricket

digforhelp - THAT really was good - Try not to react too much when she treats you well, thank her and all that, but don't show how excited or great it feels. Sometimes if we react too much, it scares them and they pull away. I know it's hard but try to remember how much turmoil she's in

6:33 PM

lalachrissie

MarySarah not home, and not sure about ow. I’m pretty sure there is, but he will not admit

6:34 PM

digforhelp

Joey - yes!!

6:34 PM

Cricket

DARN - I also missed the last part of what Wiffe wrote - I saw her H took her pix and burned it into his phone but missed the rest...

6:35 PM

faithful

MAS but that is a start. I am just glad my s27 is finally getting close to me again and he is trying to get close to his dad but I can still see some resistance. When s27 came to the house and h was here he wanted to know what he was still doing here. He said it when h was not around. I could see some anger in son.

6:35 PM

Joey

Cricket, it’s not just you, chat is ROLLING FAST tonight! I'm missing a lot to! :)

6:35 PM

Cricket

lalachrissie - That was nice for your girls. ALSO when they do those things, they are also really thinking of us too... they may not mention it, but they are..

6:35 PM

MAS

MarySarah @31 Gosh, I know so well what you're going through. I don't think there is anything harder than knowing our children are spending time with the OW. That's the way it was for me also when in-laws were here visiting last year. They all spent time with H, OW, my D and SIL---I felt like such an outcast.

6:35 PM

lalachrissie

dogwood I know. I saw the email. it's too early to restore the marriage. I think that you should let him go ahead with him leaving and not leave your home. tell him that you are staying in the home and he's welcome to stay, but you understand if he needs to leave. then let it go, say nothing more.

6:36 PM

MAS

Cricket @32 You didn't see my praise?

6:36 PM

Cricket

lalachrissie - I agree with you as far as Dogwood's H

6:36 PM

Chapman

All - Good night! I am going to have to sign off as I am tired tonight. I hope everyone's week gets off to a good start. Blessings to all. Thanks for talking with me.

6:37 PM

Cricket

MAS - I missed it - I saw part of the beginning & then I think my screen moved & I was writing another answer & forgot to recheck before it was gone... SORRY - Please tell me again

6:37 PM

lalachrissie

Cricket dogwoods h is so confused that he doesn't even know if he wants to leave so he's trying to make her do all the work for him!

6:38 PM

MarySarah

Cricket, Swan, & Joey, besides the obvious & usual conveniences that satan puts in H's way with ow, I am concerned about how very much my in-laws leading same life & worse than H right now have not only supported, but encouraged, & condoned what H has done. My MIL turned faster than the wind of a level 5 tornado. Her hate towards me is obvious with almost no contact since this started. Now they are working on our youngest. What if anything can I do to keep them from being a stumbling block to my H I want to share with MIL that this is about my H's(her son's) very salvation.

6:38 PM

MAS

dogwood It seems that lalachrissie is telling you exactly what I had said...Let him get the separation and not the divorce.

6:38 PM

Cricket

lalachrissie - I agree. I've said much the same, not to debate or try to change his mind but also don't put too much stock in things they say. We have many many here who have said those same things and then returned and restored or have begun reconnecting after the same speech.

6:38 PM

dogwood

lalachrissie He wants me to understand that if he comes back home to stay, it does not mean he wants to restore our marriage, rather he is getting the house ready and waiting for me to leave and a formal separation.

6:39 PM

faithful

All I really have to go since I had a very busy weekend and need to get ready for work tomorrow and some school work. Have a bless week.

6:39 PM

koko

goodnight all its been a pretty good weekend a lot of good laughs and memories w W . going to bed happy(good dreams tonight)

6:39 PM

purpleflowers

Hi Everyone

6:39 PM

Cricket

Joey - I get to typing a reply and then scroll back and type another and miss some I wanted to read.

6:39 PM

digforhelp

koko - goodnight

6:39 PM

Cricket

Hi purpleflowers

6:39 PM

MarySarah

koko that's good praise

6:39 PM

dogwood

MAS I understand. I have in the past told him (per Jim's advice) that he will have to do the paper work. I hope that he has not taken it for a legal divorce paper

6:39 PM

Cricket

koko - Sweet Dreams

6:39 PM

lalachrissie

dogwood I understand, but you need to make it clear that you are not leaving your home. he's free to do as he wishes, but he is really trying to put the burden on you.  

6:39 PM

MarySarah

Hi Purpleflower

6:40 PM

purpleflowers

Sorry only managed to log in at this time ...

6:40 PM

Joey

MarySarah all you can do is pray for them and leave this ALL IN GOD'S HANDS :)

6:40 PM

Joey

Hi Purpleflower!

6:40 PM

Swan

MarySarah - wow, sorry that is happening, I can't really offer much on this, my husband's parents are deceased and his siblings are not in agreement with what he is doing. They are still friendly with me and very supportive of my stand.

6:40 PM

MarySarah

Joey I keep praying for those dreams, visions for them too, not just H & ow, also those laborers

6:41 PM

lalachrissie

hepsy how was your Easter?

6:41 PM

Joey

Swan wished more of us were fortunate like you in that sense!!!!!

6:42 PM

hepsy

lalachrissie - good. my kids came home from college. We had a nice visit. H was pretty much either not here (preparing to testify in a company lawsuit) or when he was home isolating and non-communicative.

6:42 PM

lalachrissie

hepsy good that the kids were there. you have two? I thought it was just your d

6:42 PM

Cricket

MarySarah - You have to let go and let God. You can't fix this and if you try to talk to your MIL it will just be used against you.   My in-laws were wonderful but they believed my H that our marriage was the cause of his depression. They supported him, bought lots of things for his home with the OW, were part of their wedding, etc etc. In time they saw the truth & reached out to me. I couldn't have changed their minds, it wasn't mine to fix.

6:43 PM

hepsy

lalachrissie - I have d19 and s23.

6:43 PM

lalachrissie

hepsy oh! I didn't know you had a son too. how did I not know that!?

6:43 PM

MarySarah

Swan, thanks your prayers alone are appreciated on this. My in-laws abandoned me & condoned this from start after Lord used me to reconnect the family after MIL abandoned my H I always listened to H & 2 SIL complain about MIL & her character & her complain about their treatment of her. I always tried to listen & support forgiveness. I think they are all very surface types, with poor attachments & using mentalities but YHWH will change that

6:43 PM

Joey

MarySarah I have to agree 100% with Cricket!

6:43 PM

Cricket

MarySarah - The best you can do is to be a Godly example for your kids, lead by example.

6:44 PM

Swan

Joey - I know I am very fortunate that my husband's family supports me. I, have, however, told all of them that when and if their brother contacts them and wants to reconcile their relationship if he is not comfortable with them remaining friends with me, then tell me good-bye. My husband knows they don't approve, he doesn't speak to any of them, it really is so sad.

6:44 PM

hepsy

lalachrissie - idk.. lot of information to keep up with - I forget myself who is who etc... lol

6:45 PM

purpleflowers

Cricket Sigh! H tells everyone I'm the cause of his depression too....

6:45 PM

MarySarah

Cricket thanks so you had little contact with them during those years? & OW's bitterness came obvious to all? Were they unkind at all to you?

6:45 PM

wiffe

back   Had some lag on my end.

6:45 PM

digforhelp

goodnight everyone

6:45 PM

Joey

Swan if that had to happen for God to complete His work it would only be for a season!!!!! :)

6:45 PM

lalachrissie

hepsy funny, sometimes I'll be talking to my mom about my girls and say my sister's name in place of d's...I think we all just start losing our minds

6:46 PM

hepsy

lalachrissie - tell me about it! information overload!

6:46 PM

bumblebee#2

Cricket and purpleflowers, Sigh! Yeah my H tells everyone that our marriage has been a nightmare.

6:46 PM

Cricket

MarySarah - In the early years, they were not unkind to me as such but they encouraged me to date and move on. They told my sister that I needed to move and after all, my H was getting married to the OW,I needed to let go of him &move on. In time they reached out and reconnected with me.

6:46 PM

MarySarah

Cricket, Joey, Swan @ :44 Amen, I was so pleased to have my kids home & at service today & then with our family There are other good examples there & the older men go out of their way to talk to son!

6:47 PM

Cricket

ALL - I too have a praise. My MIL called me last night & wants to meet for breakfast tomorrow morning to celebrate my birthday.   They are here visiting my H for his birthday (last Friday) but wanted to meet with me too.

6:47 PM

MAS

Cricket hepsy My praise was actually a response to hepsy's question. I mentioned that I had no previous plans whatsoever for today...I was just going to spend the day catching up on old tapes and reading some good books. I also had said that if I learned anything at all on this journey, it was to have no expectations about anything. So, long story short, my mother and brother decided to drop by and spend some time with me (nice surprise), and they called my daughter and she came over for a short while also.   We haven't had any contact for the past several months, so this was totally unexpected.

6:47 PM

MarySarah

Cricket :46 Thanks that is encouraging that they reached out to you!

6:47 PM

lalachrissie

hepsy I read the other day that the average person has 600 thoughts a day and that they are all pretty much the same as the day before unless we train our minds not to keep repeating

6:47 PM

purpleflowers

bumblebee#2 It's unbelievable and after much reflection I disagree...they have rewritten history which is one of the symptoms of MLC..I have been telling friends who is willing to hear my side of the story that it’s not all true...

6:48 PM

Swan

Cricket - What a wonderful praise, have a wonderful breakfast tomorrow morning, God will be smiling down on you.

6:48 PM

hepsy

mas - that is a praise!

6:48 PM

Cricket

purpleflowers - YES they need to justify their actions and make excuses to everyone else for their actions. Very typical but in time people figure out the truth. I know close friends of mine told me that they'd see my H and he'd tell them how happy he was... They say he'd say he was xxxxing happy (with OW) and almost yell it at them. The friend said, "Wow if that's happy, I don't want it."

6:48 PM

hepsy

lalachrissie - I am sure.. and probably gets worse as we age.. ugh..

6:49 PM

purpleflowers

Cricket Happy Birthday! May the Lord bless you with a wonderful day with them!

6:49 PM

Cricket

Swan - MY MIL also asked how my baby was and we had a nice talk on the phone last night.

6:49 PM

lalachrissie

MAS isn't the unexpected much better than what we actually expect!

6:49 PM

MAS

hepsy Yes, it is! Thank you.

6:50 PM

MarySarah

Cricket :47 I am praising YHWH with you, that is great...... Happy Birthday & have a blessed time! Praying H will be dreaming about you all night with overwhelming feelings of love & desperately wanting to be with you!

6:50 PM

bumblebee#2

purpleflowers Yeah, I do that too. That was one of the biggest blessings from the midlife books. Finding out how important it is to not believe every word that comes out of their mouths..They are just vomiting on us.. Great word picture.. It helped me so much as I deal with all of this..

6:50 PM

MAS

lalachrissie Yes. I find that having no expectations is the best thing we can do these days...and then whatever happens, happens.

6:51 PM

Cricket

MAS - THANK YOU THANK YOU for repeating your praise for me. That is wonderful. I saw the beginning of what you had written but then it disappeared before I could finish reading. I am so glad. Yes I agree, keep expectations low, have a plan and then if there is a praise, it's a nice surprise. PTL

6:52 PM

purpleflowers

Cricket@48 That's hilarious! My H has been looking so depressed and unshaven that everyone around him just stares at him speechless. My bro in law who was originally on his side just quietly text me from time to time to report how depressed he is..guess he has seen the light. On the other hand I am thriving with my son, am sleeping well throughout the night and picking myself up. H constantly cant sleeps and need 3 valiums to get to sleep.

6:52 PM

MAS

Cricket @51 Exactly!! And I'm so happy for your praise as well!!!

6:52 PM

Cricket

purpleflowers - Do be careful in what you share with friends. I wouldn't go into detail with them. Something that makes it hard for our spouses to come home is if there are lots of rumors and they feel everyone knows how much they messed up.

6:52 PM

MarySarah

Mas ptl with you!

6:52 PM

MAS

Cricket Is baby all better now?

6:53 PM

Joey

Cricket, love the praise report!!!

6:53 PM

MAS

MarySarah Thank you, sweetie.

6:53 PM

lalachrissie

dogwood are you still here?

6:53 PM

purpleflowers

Cricket It's hard to know how to balance cos there are days I feel I need their support, but I don’t do it to a lot just very close friends who has known us for decades!

6:53 PM

dogwood

lalachrissie I am. may try to call you sometime later

6:54 PM

Cricket

purpleflowers - YES - Exactly. At first, I do think people tended to believe things my H said, but they saw that I never bad mouthed him, I kept busy and acted with class even with many things that the OW did to me. People saw me growing and saw my H's attitude and health issues and they came to know the truth.

6:54 PM

lalachrissie

dogwood ok

6:54 PM

MarySarah

bumblebee#2 & purpleflower, lies are lies. Anytime people spew garbage to us it's generally a reflection of what they see of their self. Satan is the author of lies.

6:54 PM

MAS

dogwood I'm so glad you are reaching out to people.

6:55 PM

hepsy

all - well, got to go. My bedtime! Good chatting and hope to talk to you tomorrow night. Take care!

6:55 PM

Joey

hepsy good night girlie!!!!

6:55 PM

Cricket

ALL - I sent my H a funny birthday card. I hadn't when the OW was there and when we were reconnecting, I gave it to him in person. So now that no OW, I mailed the card to him. Haven't heard anything yet, don't expect to, but with our bdays only 3 days apart, I know he's thinking of me at that time.

6:55 PM

lalachrissie

hepsy goodnight

6:56 PM

dogwood

MAS you are all what I have as friends and support

6:56 PM

Joey

Cricket good move!!! :)

6:56 PM

purpleflowers

MarySarah True! Beginning to see past his garbage, in the past I just took it and accepted his reflection of me but now that I am stronger I am beg to discern the truth and refuse those lies imposed on me.

6:56 PM

MAS

Cricket That's great! Have no expectations, and you may just get a pleasant surprise!

6:56 PM

Cricket

bumblebee#2 - YES great word pix but so true - the things they say are simply all part of their illness. Much like someone with a high fever ranting & raving in their illness, if we were there caring for them we'd know it was the illness, well this is the same.

6:57 PM

lalachrissie

still hi!

6:57 PM

Still

lalachrissie, Hi. How are you?

6:57 PM

MAS

dogwood That's okay. We will always be here for you.

6:57 PM

lalachrissie

Still I'm great! How are you? Did you H go?

6:57 PM

purpleflowers

Cricket All the best! Hope it will be a positive response. Just had a tiff with H over the weekend. Typical, we were getting along so well on sat, bought him a gift and all that but sun came back and picked a fight over me over the smallest thing. Have to tell myself to calm down ignore him and move on with my life.

6:58 PM

Still

lalachrissie. I'm glad you are well. Yes, he left on Friday.

6:58 PM

Cricket

Joey - My sister & I prayed over it. She'd been called to send him a card too and had already done it when I talked to her. I just said that he'd said we'd always be friends when he backed away this last time and I sent all my friends bday cards so he can deal with it. Not my problem. So I prayed & mailed it.

6:58 PM

lalachrissie

Still are you ok? the kids?

6:58 PM

Cricket

purpleflowers - Exactly - he is lost.

6:58 PM

MarySarah

purpleflower :56 great praise, keep it up!

6:59 PM

MAS

Still How are you holding up? Are you okay?

6:59 PM

Still

lalachrissie, Yes, I am doing okay....trying not to think about. Kids are doing pretty well, my D10 cried the other night and said, "It feels like my world is falling apart." Broke my heart.

6:59 PM

Joey

Cricket amen!!!

7:00 PM

Cricket

MAS- My baby is better, but I'm still giving her 6 doses of meds a day. I'm taking her to Specialist tomorrow morning. I picked tomorrow as one of the best gifts I could get was a good Dr report on her.

7:00 PM

Still

MAS, yes, I am doing okay. I know I couldn't have stopped him. It was hard to spend Easter for the first time in 22 years without him. He went to his mother's and the kids and I went to my family's house.

7:00 PM

purpleflowers

MarySarah Thanks! What's your story, relatively new here. Separated now with S3. H comes back only on weekends.

7:00 PM

MarySarah

Still how you holding up kid? I am free tomorrow if you want to meet somewhere for prayer & some much needed sister time!

7:01 PM

Still

MarySarah, you are sweet. I have a very busy week, but would like to do that soon.

7:01 PM

Cricket

Still - It is so hard to see our kids hurt. I hoped it would help with her Dad meeting with you all to explain he'd still be involved but regardless it is hard for the children.

7:01 PM

lalachrissie

Still I know that feeling. my d9 at first was like that until she started seeing how disconnected h is. they start picking up on the behaviors, especially when they don't seem happier away from us

7:01 PM

dogwood

Still hugs!!!   Did you get together with H for Easter today?

7:01 PM

bumblebee#2

All I have to go too. Tomorrow is H birthday and I still have a few things I want to do.   It has been so good chatting with you.   I will try to be here tomorrow too as I need this time so badly... Thanks Cricket!

7:01 PM

Still

Cricket. I knew the reality wasn't really hitting them. My H is only a few blocks away and I think they thought it would be easy....until it happened.

7:02 PM

purpleflowers

Still @59 I feel for you. Dreading every minute of it when my S3 knows what’s happening. H doesn’t want to tell him the truth what’s happening. we are saying to S3 that he is working all the time....but my heart breaks every time H disappoints S3. so I understand.

7:03 PM

Cricket

dogwood - Still said her H went to his folks & she & the kids to her family. First time in 22 yrs not together for Easter

7:03 PM

Still

Dogwood, thank you. Saw H, but didn't spend any time with him. He makes it clear he is not interested in even talking to me.

7:03 PM

Cricket

Still - Yes it takes time but I know you are doing your   best to reassure them.

7:03 PM

Still

purpleflowers...awww, you have a very little one. I'm sorry you are dealing with all this.

7:04 PM

dogwood

Still understand now. can fully related

7:04 PM

Cricket

ALL - And it is even harder for purpleflowers as she is in a whole other continent

7:04 PM

MarySarah

purpleflower H left after 23 yrs. that was 3 yrs ago he got his legal "relief" through no fault before that he couldn't get that nasty paper as we needed grounds & he had none, but the changed laws here. He has been full anger, & hate he gave ow ring in Feb. His family lived this same type throw them away & get another, we are covenant marriage & were only one of his family & now mine not D....But that is piece paper & NOTHING is impossible with YHWH! We have 3 kids. My oldest in college in her confusion seems ok with this, but I take brunt of kids' anger but in time they have gotten better, they are great kids. June is our 26th anniversary.

7:04 PM

MAS

Cricket @00 Yes that would certainly be a great birthday present.

7:05 PM

lalachrissie

all I’m going to go for a walk on the beach with the girls for the sunset. have a nice evening. god bless

7:06 PM

Still

Cricket. Yes, I tell them that we both still love them. They know they are loved, but it is so hard and confusing. Tonight my H dropped off son. S10 said, "Dad, please stay." His answer was, "no, I need to leave.". Probably the most honest he has been with himself in that statement.

7:06 PM

MAS

Still Yes, I know what you mean. This was the first Easter I spent without my H as well.

7:06 PM

purpleflowers

Still Cricket I am holding on to the LORD! HE is with me throughout it all... and other people have been through worst circumstances. at least I am not in Japan homeless because of Tsunami! I give praise and thanksgiving to the Lord all the time for the simple things in life. My S3 seems happy at the moment with what I can give him.

7:06 PM

Still

(((mas))) ugh!

7:06 PM

MarySarah

purpleflower can you say what continent or does that let cat out bag too much? Is there much support there in standing for marriage?

7:06 PM

Cricket

MAS- She is eating much better and become more playful. She's harassing her big sister more which is a good sign but they do seem to have bonded more during her illness She is still skinny, her stomach sunken in below her back so I keep feeding as much as she'll eat. Not 100% and will be on meds for several more weeks but noticeably better.

7:06 PM

dogwood

MarySarah Does your H or yourself do anything on your anniversary? Mine is coming up in July-- just wondering how people deal with it

7:07 PM

Still

((purpleflowers))) What an inspiring post!

7:07 PM

Still

dogwood, my H has ignored our anniversary for three years. Not a word.

7:07 PM

Cricket

Still - The thing to keep in mind is that your children are really tugging at his heart and helping keep him connected

7:07 PM

Joey

dogwood they usually run the other way from anniversaries, don't expect and you won't be hurt as much.

7:08 PM

dogwood

Joey Good advice. wondering if I should sign up for the Christian cruise that includes my day in the trip

7:08 PM

Still

Cricket :07 I know they are. I think he is really tormented inside. I have been nothing but kind about his move....offered him furniture, gave him linens, and calmly discussed all bills. I do my best to give him no reason for his continued anger.

7:09 PM

purpleflowers

MarySarah The problem seems rooted in their family...My Father in law married his second wife after 4 weeks of courtship and separated one year later. One year after that My H told me he wants a separation. That was in mid nov last year. moved out Jan this year so I am relatively new in this MLC but learning so much from this CR.

7:09 PM

dogwood

Still Joey: Do you do anything for your H on your anniversary?

7:10 PM

Cricket

dogwood - YES mine too. My H ignored our anniversary every years since he left. The first year, I had to give him a check as part of property settlement. It turned out I had to give it to him on our anniversary so I got a card (blank) with an ocean scene as we usually went to Hawaii for our anniversary. When I handed the envelope/card to him.. he moaned... Oh NOOOO! I laughed and said Oh be quiet, it's not what you think. Still I knew he was remembering and hating that he had to open the envelope to get the check.

7:10 PM

MAS

dogwood Next anniversary is going to be very hard for me...It will be our 30th in May.

7:10 PM

Still

Dogwood, the first year of his MLC, I wrote him a letter expressing my love. He said, "thanks, but I don't feel that way anymore." After that, I just didn't do anything.

7:10 PM

Swan

dogwood - Oh my gosh, cruises are so much fun, even if you are on your own or with a large group of people. I recall there was an annual Christian cruise when I lived in your area, if you can go, do so, it will be so much fun. Is it going down to Mexico, a three day or more.

7:11 PM

Cricket

Still - YES I did the same. I gave my H things from the home and even went shopping with him for things he'd need. Friends couldn't understand it and thought I was crazy. I figured that I wanted him filled with only good memories and my grace when he left.

7:11 PM

Still

Cricket, I know you did that. I had that in the back of my mind when I was helping him.

7:12 PM

dogwood

Swan No, one of the local church Alaska cruise with preaching and Christian music on board

7:12 PM

MarySarah

dogwood, my H doesn't acknowledge anything, not Bday, nothing, my mom has talked to him couple times about kids presents or left message updating him about my dad after his stroke & said they love him & miss him & he's always welcome home. My H would just as soon than I disappear at this time. He won't even walk into our home. satan fueled his anger. The nicer I was, the worse he got, so I stay pretty far away.

7:12 PM

Joey

all, I need to go and get ready for work tomorrow and spend some quite time with the Lord.

7:12 PM

MAS

dogwood My H hasn't acknowledged our anniversary since he left four years ago. It's really best not to expect anything.

7:12 PM

Cricket

purpleflowers - You are doing exactly the right things. Keep up the good work, He will lift you up and yes we all have much to be thankful for.

7:12 PM

Swan

dogwood - You will love the Alaskan cruise, it is so awesome and so much fun, go have a good time.

7:13 PM

purpleflowers

MarySarah @06 I'm in Asia if that helps. No seasons just hot tropical weather. People are not fully aware of what MLC means....they think it’s just men buying big cars and trying to be youthful again. It’s not so in depth knowledge until I read Jim’s MLC book and got connected with you guys. A lot of people telling me to give up and move on...

7:13 PM

Joey

Good night everyone and God bless everyone!!!!!!!

7:13 PM

Cricket

dogwood - I always tried to plan something to be busy, something fun and usually with people but anything fun to do that day.

7:14 PM

MAS

purpleflowers Then it's really not much different there than it is here as far as MLC goes.

7:14 PM

dogwood

MarySarah I can related to your sentence "the nicer I was, the worse he got"... One of the reason might be they don't want to mislead us to false hope.

7:15 PM

Cricket

Still - I still smile & feel good about doing that.   You are also right in that you want them to totally feel safe in contact with us and have no reason to fear reaching out when they reach that stage.

7:15 PM

dogwood

Cricket good idea. thanks

7:15 PM

purpleflowers

Cricket Thanks! Still learning...I have peace throughout the week w/o H but when he comes home on weekends to be with S3 that's when there is so much tension in the house cos he swings between just so angry and nasty to depressed and being a victim....

7:16 PM

MarySarah

purple flower my family didn't have this curse until now. My parents & most aunts & uncles stayed together forever, all close & loving. My siblings 2 married alcoholics & they didn't seem to want to tough it out, & my brother was left using excuse they were too young.   My H was drawn to stability of my family b/c his was chaos now temporarily he has returned to same lifestyle he grew up in

7:16 PM

Still

Cricket, My H has come over daily since he left. He just walks in....I smile to myself thinking "he still views this as his home". I want him to think that way.

7:16 PM

Cricket

Still - ALSO - I told a good friend who thought I was crazy that I sure didn't want him going into more debt buying things that we had two of as I expected him to be home one day so why have him spend that money needlessly.

7:16 PM

Cricket

Still - exactly!

7:16 PM

MarySarah

purple flowers children? how long have you been married?

7:16 PM

dogwood

Still What a praise!!!! Good for you!

7:17 PM

Cricket

purpleflowers - YES we've tried to tell dogwood that as hard as it is for them to leave, it does help us gain peace and recoup from the stress of them being home.

7:17 PM

purpleflowers

MAS At least you have a support group on your side like this CR and you can catch up with each other face to face to encourage one another. It was in desperation of trying to understand what was going on that I found you all. Thank God for the internet...

7:17 PM

MarySarah

dogwood I heard that from my H a lot things conflicted esp. in first 2 years, now not so much

7:18 PM

MAS

Still @16 You are lucky in that respect. From the very beginning my H made it clear that he didn't feel comfortable having a key to "my" house anymore. That really hit me hard.

7:18 PM

Cricket

dogwood - You are exactly right,   They worry if they are nice to us that we'll read too much into it. They also think if they're mean, we'll throw them out & give up

7:18 PM

Still

MAS, It really could change at any time, but I just want to "pave the way" back home.

7:19 PM

dogwood

Cricket I like your last sentence. It is so true

7:19 PM

MAS

purpleflowers Yes, thank the Lord that you found this chat room. It has been a lifesaver for many.

7:19 PM

MarySarah

Cricket :17 that is something that is a little positive, no walking on eggshells on a daily basis

7:20 PM

Cricket

MarySarah - If you click on the person's name in the parenthesis it will show up below in the text box. It will also be written correctly so it turns red and people will see something written to them more easily. When you type the name as you did purple flowers (separating her name) it doesn't show up red.

7:20 PM

purpleflowers

MarySarah Me too, I came from a home where I knew my dad and mom loved each other. This has been a shock to my family...I am praying so hard that this legacy of divorce will not pass on to my S3. It needs to stop in this generation.

7:21 PM

Cricket

dogwood - They do a lot to push us away as they want us to give up. However, they don't realize we have a wise man in Jim teaching us about mlc.

7:21 PM

MAS

Cricket Since my H has had the OW in his life, he's been much nicer...probably because he feels he won't be giving me "false hope" anymore.

7:21 PM

purpleflowers

MAS How are you?

7:22 PM

dogwood

Cricket thanks for the reminder and encouragement

7:23 PM

MarySarah

Still that is great, my H acted so cocky & arrogant in that, & even came in & took things when I was away, that I changed the locks & he ended up ringing doorbell & not coming in he got really angry about door locks but only because he couldn't remove things behind my back, yet I wish I had been more at ease when he came & walked right in. It's hard call as nobody has ever told my H what to do & he crosses boundaries without a thought. I still wish I hadn't felt need to "defend myself"

7:23 PM

MAS

purpleflowers Like I usually tell people... just hanging in there and trying to take things one day at a time. That's all we can do.

7:23 PM

Cricket

MAS - It may be that but it also is more typical for the anger & depression to be stronger in the early stages. In time they fall into a routine but then the newness begins to wear off and they start to realize they are back where they started but without the good things they had with us

7:23 PM

MarySarah

Cricket Thanks! I wondered how to do that

7:23 PM

Swan

All - the room will close in about 7 minutes, please wrap up your comments and questions. Remember to join us tomorrow evening for chat with Bill and to keep one another in prayer this week.

7:24 PM

purpleflowers

MAS I agree. Doing the same thing, which is hard for me as I usually like to have 5 year goals...sigh God is doing a work within me. Really letting go and learning to trust the Lord a gain day by day...

7:24 PM

dogwood

Swan thanks and good night! peace to everyone in this week

7:24 PM

MarySarah

purpleflowers yes, it is often a strong curse.

7:25 PM

MAS

purpleflowers Yes, that's so much like I was! I used to plan everything way in advance. I wouldn't even dream of taking things day by day! Now look what's happened!

7:25 PM

Cricket

dogwood - That's another reason not to try to talk logic to them. They are a mess. Much like when teenagers date someone we don't like or have a friend we don't like as parents... if we forbid them to see that person, that's the one they want most. As parents, whenever we try to turn them away from something unhealthy, they push toward that most. These mlcrs are like that. The more we try to tell them it's mlc or they're making a mistake, the harder they work to prove us wrong and resist doing anything healthy. They push even harder toward separation or divorce the more we try to stop them.

7:26 PM

MarySarah

All YHWH bless goodnight! Blessed Resurrection Day!

7:27 PM

Cricket

purpleflowers - Now your 5 yr goal is to do those things you have denied yourself, really take this time to work in you, take a class, join an exercise group, Bible Study (like Beth Moore), volunteer, etc

7:27 PM

MAS

dogwood I NEVER bring up the D word at all anymore. NEVER!

7:27 PM

purpleflowers

MAS It's really really hard for me to do this...but I am learning not to go ahead of God in this matter.... dying to myself and learning to wait sigh! there's a part in me that wants to sign the papers and move on but if not for my S3 and what is right in the eyes of God....

7:27 PM

MAS

MarySarah Goodnight! Blessings to you too!

7:28 PM

Cricket

purpleflowers - We have to let go and let God-- not try to fix anything except in us

7:28 PM

dogwood

Cricket My H tried to remind me what I saw and wanting me to release him from our marriage.   he tried to tell me even if I forgive him, I can't forget . No matter what I say, he insists that is impossible for us to be together again

7:28 PM

purpleflowers

Cricket thanks for the tip of planning for me instead do things for me....

7:28 PM

Cricket

Have a good night, wonderful that we've had many praises shared here tonight and more to come God is so Good!

7:28 PM

dogwood

MAS thanks, I won't do it again.

7:29 PM

purpleflowers

Good morning everyone! hee hee good night to you all...

7:29 PM

MAS

dogwood :) :)

7:29 PM

Cricket

dogwood -That's why you must stop saying anything - don’t give him ammunition

7:29 PM

Swan

Goodnight all, see your tomorrow evening

7:29 PM

Cricket

purpleflowers - Just think of what you can plan for you.

7:29 PM

MAS

All: Goodnight everyone. Happy Easter!

7:29 PM

dogwood

Cricket Okay, I need to keep my mouth shut

7:29 PM

Cricket

purpleflowers - You can accomplish great things for you.

7:30 PM

Cricket

dogwood - AMEN

7:30 PM

Cricket

Night all - Prayers with you

7:30 PM

MAS

dogwood AMEN

7:30 PM

purpleflowers

Cricket Thanks! You are my inspiration!

7:30 PM

Cricket

purpleflowers AWWW

7:30 PM

dogwood

Cricket should I stop saying that I want restoration?

6:32 PM

digforhelp

Cricket - it's a very hard thing to deal with. it like night and day. After yesterday I was totally surprised that she hugged me today and even said how good I looked.

6:33 PM

Cricket

digforhelp - THAT really was good - Try not to react too much when she treats you well, thank her and all that, but don't show how excited or great it feels. Sometimes if we react too much, it scares them and they pull away. I know it's hard but try to remember how much turmoil she's in

 

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Chat Room Acronyms

Guests often use acronyms to speed up their conversations. Here are a few examples for you:

I have been S from my H for 2 years. We have 3 children, S8, S13, and D16.
I have been Separated from my Husband for 2 years. We have 3 children, Son age 8, Son age 13, Daughter age 16.
  OW = Other Woman   AW  = Adulteress Woman   W  = Wife   OP = other person
  OM  = Other Man   AM  = Adulteress Man   H  = Husband   LBS = Left behind spouse
  D = divorce or daughter   S = son or sister or separated   XW  = ex-wife   GF = Girl Friend
  DIL = daughter-in-law   SIL = Sister-in-law or Son-in-law   XH  = ex-husband   BF = Boy Friend
  MIL = mother-in-law   MLC = Midlife Crisis   PG = Praise God   CS = Child Support
  FIL = father-in-law   MLD = Midlife Dimensions Ministry   PTL = Praise the Lord   ED = Erectile Dysfunction
  w/ = with   w/e = weekend   b/c = because   
  w/o = without   BRB / be right back   LOL / laughing out loud