Midlife Dimensions

www.MIDLIFE.com

Thanksgiving - 11/27/08

[11/27 15: 58] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Blessing and Happy Thanksgiving to all, welcome to this special chat night.

[11/27 15: 58] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: 1 Thessalonians 5: 15-18 - See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people. Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

 


For a list of media recommendations by Midlife Dimensions and our Chat Room Facilitators, please visit at

 

http://love-wise.com/product.php

or http://astore.amazon.com/midlife-20


[11/27 16: 02] Emerald: I hope you all had a nice dinner

[11/27 16: 02] Emerald: my family left a little bit ago, mom, dad, brother & sister in law.

[11/27 16: 03] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Welcome Emerald, hope your Thanksgiving Day was blessed.

[11/27 16: 04] Smtuell: Happy Thanksgiving

[11/27 16: 05] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Hello Smtuell - welcome glad you have come to visit with us.

[11/27 16: 05] Smtuell: thanks

[11/27 16: 06] Emerald: I’m surprised more aren't here

[11/27 16: 06] brin: Swan, all, Happy Thanksgiving. Hope you had a good day.

[11/27 16: 06] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Good evening Brin - how are you doing tonight?

[11/27 16: 07] Emerald: I have a question, marriage related

[11/27 16: 07] Smtuell: People must be visiting or eating still : )

[11/27 16: 07] Emerald: must be, I hope you 3 had a good dinner!

[11/27 16: 08] Smtuell: I did under the circumstances..

[11/27 16: 08] brin: Good evening Swan, Thanks for the 12 commandments. It was cute and sweet. I am OK. Had a few crying bouts today but ok.

[11/27 16: 08] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Emerald - the room is open for four hours tonight, we will most likely see more as the time goes.

[11/27 16: 08] Emerald: my h was here, he hasn't left, he has no job

[11/27 16: 08] Emerald: but he tells me he isn't in love with me any more,

[11/27 16: 09] Smtuell: I am a 45 yr old female in the midst of a MLC

[11/27 16: 09] Emerald: t he has been very pleasant all day today

[11/27 16: 09] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: brin - the Lord stores our tears in a jar, you were just adding to yours today.

[11/27 16: 10] Smtuell: I’ve come in this chat room before but I felt like weird because it was mostly women in here who's husbands are in MLC

[11/27 16: 10] Emerald: I add tears all the time, on the positive side, I have prayed for everyone from chat and asked

[11/27 16: 10] Emerald: God to help all women in our situations

[11/27 16: 10] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Suz - sister girl, glad you are here, hope your day was blessed.

[11/27 16: 11] Emerald: smtuell: I think you are very brave for even realizing your MLC

[11/27 16: 11] Suz215: Swan: Amen to your opening prayer....and...blessings as we go through this journey whatever trial God gives may we always look to Him.....for comfort and guidance in His way.

[11/27 16: 12] Emerald: Smtuell: I can't even imagine what you are going thru, is your h supportive?

[11/27 16: 12] Smtuell: Brave??? Just glad I didn’t give in to my feelings of leaving...........

[11/27 16: 12] Suz215: Sister Swan: it has been.......being with CJ and the kids!!!!

[11/27 16: 12] Smtuell: he is very supportive

[11/27 16: 12] Smtuell: not sure I would be as supportive as he has been

[11/27 16: 13] Emerald: Smtuell, that's great

[11/27 16: 13] Smtuell: Emerald, Brin and Suz are you all women with H going thri MLC

[11/27 16: 13] brin: Swan@16: 09, Thank you. That's a sweet image. My stepsons claled to wish Happy Thanksgiving at noon. It was a nice surprise and of course made me cry.

[11/27 16: 13] Smtuell: I would love to find just ONE woman going thru it

[11/27 16: 14] Emerald: I am,

[11/27 16: 14] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Smtuell - please never feel weird, we may be dealing MLC on a different level than you, but MLC all the same. We have a few males who are going through MLC that come to the room from time to time and they are a true blessing to us, help us understand a little and they say we help them understand as well. This is a place of support, encouragement and love for all regardless of which side of MLC.

[11/27 16: 15] Emerald: Smtuell: it must be very frustrating, I wish I could relate better

[11/27 16: 15] Suz215: Smtuell: for the past 4 years

[11/27 16: 15] Smtuell: Well thank you but I would just like to get support from one woman going thru what am going thru

[11/27 16: 15] Emerald: I know just being here once helped and encouraged me

[11/27 16: 15] Smtuell: Suz your going thru it?

[11/27 16: 16] brin: Smtuell@16: 10, Please don't feel weird. Many people who chat here know a great deal about MLC because of their H's experiences.

[11/27 16: 16] Emerald: I have a quest. for anyone who can answer

[11/27 16: 16] Smtuell: Emerald it is very frustrating

[11/27 16: 17] Emerald: my h has an internet girlfriend,

[11/27 16: 17] Emerald: how much should I say or not say?

[11/27 16: 17] Smtuell: It is horrible and I don’t wish it on anyone

[11/27 16: 17] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Smtuell - have you spoke with Lisa about the possibility of connecting you directly with another woman Jim or she might know of going through MLC.

[11/27 16: 17] Smtuell: Emerald does she live close to you or out of state

[11/27 16: 17] Emerald: Smtuell, I will add you to my prayer list

[11/27 16: 17] brin: Smtuell@16: 13, I don't know if my H is going through MLC. I think he's going through some kind of crisis but not sure if it's MLC. Jim says it's not important to know whether it's MLC even though he may have some MLC symptoms. The important thing is [cont

[11/27 16: 17] Suz215: Smtuell: No, my husband....but, please feel free to share we are here to listen....and....support your concerns!

[11/27 16: 18] Emerald: in New Hampshire, we are in OH

[11/27 16: 18] Smtuell: No I came in here before with lots of people and were all W with H going thru..I will email her

[11/27 16: 19] Emerald: he says he doesn't love me, but has feelings for her

[11/27 16: 19] brin: Smtuell@16: 13 [con’t], to get help to recover from whatever he or you are dealing with. When I was about 30, I went through a crisis which may have been MLC-like. It ended up breaking up my 1st M.

[11/27 16: 19] Emerald: I have told him I don't want a divorce

[11/27 16: 19] Smtuell: Emerald, that is good so he is having an emotional affair not physical

[11/27 16: 19] Smtuell: read Jims book

[11/27 16: 20] Smtuell: I have been married 21 yrs and have 3 kids

[11/27 16: 20] Emerald: yes Smtuell

[11/27 16: 20] Smtuell: Emerald can I ask you how old your H is?

[11/27 16: 20] Emerald: but it doesn't hurt any less

[11/27 16: 21] Smtuell: No I am sure Emerald

[11/27 16: 21] Emerald: he is 39, 40 in Jan.

[11/27 16: 21] Smtuell: I think 40 is the age for it...from what I have read

[11/27 16: 21] Emerald: I am reading Jim's book for the 3rd time, but I have so many questions

[11/27 16: 22] Emerald: Smtuell, I have read the same thing, on top of it,he has depression

[11/27 16: 22] Smtuell: yes me too Emerald..All I can tell you as a women going thru it..it is HORRIBLE

[11/27 16: 22] Smtuell: Me too Emerald

[11/27 16: 22] brin: Emerald@16: 21, I recently had a phone chat with Jim about my situation. He's very very wise and gives very good advice. You might want to consider setting up a private chat with him.

[11/27 16: 23] Smtuell: I have suffered from depression my whole life on and off

[11/27 16: 23] Smtuell: I have thought about that Brin

[11/27 16: 23] Emerald: Smtuell, I am so sorry, I didn't realize women went thru it

[11/27 16: 23] Emerald: MLC that is

[11/27 16: 23] Smtuell: maybe depression and MLC go together?

[11/27 16: 24] Emerald: Brin, I have been thinking about it, just need to come up w/funds

[11/27 16: 24] Smtuell: OMG it hit me like a ton of bricks

[11/27 16: 24] Emerald: Smtuell, from what I read in Jims book they seem to go together

[11/27 16: 24] Smtuell: My husband bought a book "surviving my wife's MLC" I had ALL of the symptoms

[11/27 16: 25] brin: Swan, How's yout dSMT@16: 23, Didn't understand your post. What have you thought about?

[11/27 16: 25] Smtuell: Emerald I wish your H was in here

[11/27 16: 26] brin: Emerald@16: 24, I understand about the funds. I hope it works out for you.

[11/27 16: 26] Emerald: Smtuell, is it common for women/ MLC?

[11/27 16: 26] Emerald: Smtuell, he is in the other room, on the other computer, playing World of War craft. I hate that game

[11/27 16: 27] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: brin - sorry but I don't understand your question - my system doesn't show a statement at 16: 23.

[11/27 16: 27] Emerald: thanks brin

[11/27 16: 27] Smtuell: I can’t find ONE chat room with women in my situation

[11/27 16: 27] brin: Swan, Sorry, I was asking how your day went, then got side-tracked with responding to SMT's post.

[11/27 16: 27] brin: smtuell@16: 23, Didn't understand your post. What have you thought about?

[11/27 16: 28] Emerald: do people in chat ever have one special person to email?

[11/27 16: 28] Emerald: kinda like a buddy system?

[11/27 16: 28] Smtuell: emerald do you have children

[11/27 16: 29] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: brin - my day has been filled with comfort and blessings. My grandson called me earlier, had a nice dinner, listened to some wonderful sermons on the radio and now am here with all you delightful people.

[11/27 16: 29] Smtuell: oh Brin I was saying I thought about chatting with Jim personally on the phone

[11/27 16: 29] Emerald: Smtuell, I have 2 sons at home,14 & 12

[11/27 16: 30] Emerald: my 19 yr old doesn't live at home

[11/27 16: 30] Smtuell: ok I have 18, 17 and 11

[11/27 16: 30] Smtuell: Emerald is your H getting counseling or meds for the Depression

[11/27 16: 31] brin: Smtuell@16: 29, I hope you do talk to Jim. I am confident he'll give you sound advice. It's great that your H is trying to help as well. And most important, you're seeking help. Hooray for you!

[11/27 16: 31] Emerald: Smtuell, he went to the counselor I am seeing, who told him he

[11/27 16: 32] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Smtuell and Emerald - it is helpful if you type the persons name before you type your comments. Try as we might, sometimes we miss a line or two and if our name is there, we tend to catch what is being said or asked.

[11/27 16: 32] Emerald: cont Smtuell: was suffering from depression, gave him a male Dr. to see

[11/27 16: 32] brin: Swan@16: 29, Thanks for being here tonight. I am glad that your day went well. Were you by yourself today?

[11/27 16: 32] Emerald: Ok Swan!

[11/27 16: 33] Emerald: Smtuell-he said since he had no job couldn't go

[11/27 16: 33] Emerald: Smtuell cont-I told him, no worries, I'LL pay!, he said ok

[11/27 16: 33] Smtuell: Emerald I have been seeing a counselor since Aug and got on meds

[11/27 16: 34] Smtuell: Swan sorry

[11/27 16: 34] Smtuell: Emerld the first meds Did not work, I have been on these new ones fro 3 weeks and seem somewhat better

[11/27 16: 34] Emerald: Smtuell: our marriage has been going downhill, this has been a wakeup call for me

[11/27 16: 35] Emerald: Smtuell: I am getting help for my anger issues, which h was bearing brunt of

[11/27 16: 35] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Emerald - There is an email communication in addition to chat, you simply need to contact Lisa about being added to the list. Some people do communicate one on one, usually after they have been a part of the group and find others they have more in common with.

[11/27 16: 35] Smtuell: Emerald at least I am getting out of bed

[11/27 16: 35] Emerald: Smtuell: I hope the new ones work for you

[11/27 16: 36] brin: Swan, Besides praying, what would you do in my situation where my H blames our M breakup on "we're just not good together", bad communication, struggling too much with past issues, instead of biting the bullet and taking responsibility for his anger?

[11/27 16: 36] Emerald: Swan, thank you, I hope I can find a kindred soul!

[11/27 16: 36] Smtuell: Emerald, this has been a huge wake up call for my H as I have been doing everything, working, cooking, cleaning, kids etc....

[11/27 16: 37] Emerald: brin, sounds a lot like my situation, but I have had the anger issues

[11/27 16: 37] Emerald: Smtuell, I bet it has!

[11/27 16: 37] Smtuell: Emerald I also have tried yoga the past few weeks and seems to be working

[11/27 16: 38] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Emerald and Smtuell - Jim is usually here on Monday evenings to answer questions, chat on Monday is from 6: 00 to 7: 00 pm pacific time.

[11/27 16: 38] Smtuell: Emerald I was seriously thinking of leaving, packing my truck and driving, Luckily my sis saw a change in me and confronted me

[11/27 16: 39] Smtuell: I just wanted to be by myself

[11/27 16: 39] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Emerald - I can honestly say that if MLC had not happened to my husband, I would not have found this site and would not have come to know and communicate with some of the dearest people. These friendships will last forever and I cherish them deeply.

[11/27 16: 40] Smtuell: Emerald your H internet GF is just a fantasy

[11/27 16: 41] Smtuell: Emerald my H and I went to a World Wide Marriage Encounter a few weeks ago

[11/27 16: 41] Emerald: Swan, this chat is helping me, just having people in similar situations to talk to

[11/27 16: 42] Emerald: Smtuell: I am glad your sister noticed, are you glad too?

[11/27 16: 42] Smtuell: Emerald I am probably not helping huh?

[11/27 16: 42] Emerald: Smtuell, he talks to the internet woman all the time, tells her he loves her, it hurts so much!!!

[11/27 16: 42] Smtuell: Emerald YES I am glad she noticed, stepped in and got me help

[11/27 16: 43] Emerald: Smtuell, just talking about it helps me

[11/27 16: 43] brin: Emerald@16: 37, I know what you mean as I have been guilty of losing my cool with my H.

[11/27 16: 43] Smtuell: Emerald how can he Love her when he doesn’t even know her

[11/27 16: 43] Emerald: Smtuell, I am so glad!

[11/27 16: 43] Emerald: Smtuell, my sil and I have asked him the same questions, oh and she is married too

[11/27 16: 44] Smtuell: Emerald I know so many people who have had affairs over the internet and they NEVER work out

[11/27 16: 44] Smtuell: Emerald how did you find out? Did he tell U?

[11/27 16: 44] Emerald: brin, I didn't realize how much my anger was weighing me down

[11/27 16: 45] Emerald: Smtuell, I saw the comments from her on his MySpace page

[11/27 16: 45] Smtuell: Emerald I am glad you’re in counseling

[11/27 16: 45] Emerald: Smtuell: they want to meet in person

[11/27 16: 45] Emerald: Smtuell: so am I!!

[11/27 16: 46] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: brin - best to zip your lips on these types of comments, in the mind of MLC he has convinced himself these things are true and there is honestly NOTHING you can say or do to change his mind at this time. Jim recommends that we listen to their complaints and rather than becoming defensive about their words to try to focus on ourselves, building a personal relationship with the Lord and searching through all the blame noticing the things they seem to need us to change or address, then work on those things. Over time they will notice.

[11/27 16: 46] brin: Emerald@16: 44, There's a very good book about anger - Love Without Hurt (Steve Stosny).

[11/27 16: 46] Smtuell: Emerald did you confront him?

[11/27 16: 46] Emerald: Brin and Smtuell, my anger blinded me to h's depression until 3 wks ago

[11/27 16: 46] Emerald: Brin, thx will look into it

[11/27 16: 47] Emerald: Smtuell, I confronted him and that's when he told me

[11/27 16: 47] Emerald: Smtuell  Cont-he told me he didn't love my, wanted out, had feelings for ow

[11/27 16: 48] brin: Swan@16: 46, The last time was via email. I just acknowledged and took Jim's advice to speak the truth in love, telling him that I wanted both of us to work on our past issues. In that email, he said he loves me and thinks about me everyday but [contd]

[11/27 16: 48] Smtuell: Emerald do you think your in depression?

[11/27 16: 48] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: brin - another thing I would really recommend if that you read a book by Henry Cloud and John Townsend - Boundaries, when to say yes, when to say no. Unconditional love for someone does NOT include standing still for their abuse regardless if it is verbal or physical.

[11/27 16: 48] Smtuell: Emerald did he tell you that he Loved you but not in love with you

[11/27 16: 49] Emerald: Smtuell, almost, said he cared for me, wanted us to be friends for kids sake

[11/27 16: 49] Emerald: Smtuell: i don't know if I’m in depression, sometimes I think I am

[11/27 16: 50] brin: Swan@16: 46[con’t] but doesn't think he can heal from the problems in our past. I have mentioned M counseling a couple of times in past, but did not this time. It seems this 3rd "speech" is serious. I’m thinking of bringing up M counseling before he files

[11/27 16: 50] Smtuell: Emerald wow so now what

[11/27 16: 50] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Emerald - as you join us here more and more, you will find that there are many who are going through the same situations and also that the person going through MLC is also following what seems like a script, so many of them say and do the exact same things. This is a good place to come and express frustrations, fears, etc. with people who understand and can offer support.

[11/27 16: 50] Smtuell: Emerald you should talk to your counselor about depression maybe she can diag you

[11/27 16: 51] Smtuell: Swan Yes I can relate to her H..

[11/27 16: 52] Emerald: Smtuell: I am up and down so much lately, good days and bad days w/H

[11/27 16: 52] Smtuell: Room: It is HORRIBLE to have these feelings

[11/27 16: 52] Emerald: Smtuell, have you and your h had a good relationship?

[11/27 16: 52] Joey [Facilitator]: Hi all!

[11/27 16: 52] Smtuell: Emerald do you work outside the home

[11/27 16: 53] brin: Swan@16: 48, Recently did a class on Boundaries, very good. Want to work on it more on my own. My H knows he's wrong but instead of working on stuff, just blames it all on the way we communicate. Sad b/c resolvable but he doesn't want to see it.

[11/27 16: 53] Emerald: Hello yoli and hannah

[11/27 16: 53] Joey [Facilitator]: Hi Hannah and Yoli, did you have a good day?

[11/27 16: 53] Hannah2: Hi Joey Swan and all

[11/27 16: 53] brin: Hi Joey, Hannah, Yoli, How are you doing?

[11/27 16: 53] Emerald: brin, that sounds a lot like my h, says its too late

[11/27 16: 53] Smtuell: Emerald I thought we did until this came on..what I think happened is that we were so involved in raising the kids that our relationship was placed on the back burner

[11/27 16: 54] Yoli: Joey: No, not good. Daughters had a major blowout about dad. right before we ate.

[11/27 16: 54] Suz215: Greetings Sisters!!!!! Joey, Hannah and Yoli!!!

[11/27 16: 54] Emerald: Smtuell: I work full time, he's unemployed, and doesn't seem to care

[11/27 16: 54] Joey [Facilitator]: Brin, be careful w/ the boundaries thing to early, Jim's not fond of that in the early stages.

[11/27 16: 54] Yoli: Emerald & Brin: Hi, how are you all doing?

[11/27 16: 54] Hannah2: Joey yes I did but I felt down a little knowing h was with ow at her parents. Even after all this time it is hard. I've never known him to go to her parent’s home before. It is in your home state - along drive from Rhode Island.

[11/27 16: 54] Smtuell: Emerald how long have you been married

[11/27 16: 54] Emerald: Smtuell, that must've been a double blow to you

[11/27 16: 55] Hannah2: Hi sister Suz. I’m fine thanks. Hi Emerald and Yoli, brin and Smtuell. Some new names I've not seen before

[11/27 16: 55] Yoli: Suz215: Boy it's been a while since I've seen you here. How are you?

[11/27 16: 55] Joey [Facilitator]: Yoli, I am so sorry. Holiday are even harder for the children.

[11/27 16: 55] sbky: hello all

[11/27 16: 55] Smtuell: Emerald…your a better W then me…..

[11/27 16: 55] Emerald: 13 yrs, 3 1st time, 10 2nd, married, divorced, remarried

[11/27 16: 55] brin: Emerald@16: 53, My H has been "torn" for 2.5 years now.

[11/27 16: 55] Joey [Facilitator]: Sbky, hi, glad to see you hear tonight!

[11/27 16: 55] Yoli: Hannah2: Hi, you're back tonight. How was your day?

[11/27 16: 55] Emerald: hi hannah2,yes I’m new

[11/27 16: 55] Suz215: Hannah: I got a notice about a job in Plattsburgh......thought of you!

[11/27 16: 55] Smtuell: Hannah I have been in here a few times before but not in awhile now

[11/27 16: 56] sbky: hello

[11/27 16: 56] Smtuell: I am a married W in MLC

[11/27 16: 56] Suz215: Yoli: I’m great! Happy Thanksgiving day.....how are you?

[11/27 16: 56] Emerald: brin, sounds similar to us, downward spiral for about 3 yrs now

[11/27 16: 56] Joey [Facilitator]: Hannah, mine is somewhere but I got included in a BCC Happy Thanksgiving wish from my h this morning!

[11/27 16: 56] Yoli: Joey: Yes they are hard. But I think this needed to happen. I cried a lot as well. I actually felt good afterwards. I’m drained now. I don't think anything got resolved though.

[11/27 16: 56] brin: Joey@16: 54, Thanks. Could you please expand more on your warning? It's been 2.5 years and Jim did tell me recently to "speak the truth in love". I don't know what you mean by early stages.

[11/27 16: 57] Emerald: Smtuell, I don't feel like I’m a better anything right now

[11/27 16: 57] Yoli: Suz215: I think okay considering the blowout today.

[11/27 16: 57] sbky: I had Thanksgiving with my kids and family and was planning on going to my h's aunts with the rest of his family. but ended up shopping with my sister

[11/27 16: 57] brin: Yoli, I am hanging in there. How about you? How was your day?

[11/27 16: 57] Emerald: Smtuell, I take that back, my relationship w/ Jesus is getting better!1

[11/27 16: 57] Hannah2: Joey that was nice.

[11/27 16: 57] Smtuell: Emerald I know : (

[11/27 16: 58] Suz215: Yoli: and then there's another day after this one!

[11/27 16: 58] Smtuell: Emerald yes I pray ALOT

[11/27 16: 58] Hannah2: Emerald, what a pretty name. Sounds Irish. Why did you choose it for a chat name?

[11/27 16: 58] Hannah2: Hi sbky, nice to see you

[11/27 16: 58] Smtuell: Room I have to go and watch Charlie Browns Christmas

[11/27 16: 58] Yoli: brin: It started out fine. Then daughters had shouting match about their dad. I ended up having to hide car keys so younger daughter wouldn't leave.

[11/27 16: 58] Joey [Facilitator]: Brin, true MLC crisis can last from 7-10 years and the early years are very tender. Have you read Jim's book Men in MLC? there are 6 stages they have to process through.

[11/27 16: 58] Emerald: Smtuell: the praying is what is keeping me sane at times

[11/27 16: 59] Smtuell: Emerald If you want email Lisa and she can give you my email address

[11/27 16: 59] sbky: hannah. thanks good to be here

[11/27 16: 59] Joey [Facilitator]: Yoli, I pray God's peace and strength to you my sister! : )

[11/27 16: 59] Emerald: Hannah2, thx, it's my birthstone, and I have Irish roots!

[11/27 16: 59] Joey [Facilitator]: Smtuell, have fun, we'll be here a few more hours if you

[11/27 16: 59] Suz215: Yoli: I’m sorry that the kid's are having such a hard time......that's always the hardest part

[11/27 16: 59] Yoli: Suz215: that's right there is another day after today. I know it's all a matter of how you look at it. It was just really hard seeing daughters yell, scream & cry. And where's the dad? Far far away.

[11/27 17: 00] Emerald: Smtuell: thx, I will do that, I appreciate it,

[11/27 17: 00] Smtuell: Emerald hang in there...........try to be supportive of what he is going thru..it has to be hard on the partner NOT going thru it. All I know is that it is HORRIBLE

[11/27 17: 00] Joey [Facilitator]: Hannah, it was a wonderful surprise!

[11/27 17: 00] Suz215: Emerald: What county is your family from?

[11/27 17: 00] brin: Joey@16: 58, Yes, I have read Jim's book. I don't even know if he's in MLC. Neither does Jim who said it's not important to know whether my H is in MLC or not. He said more important to help my H recover from what he's dealing with. I don't know how at this pt.

[11/27 17: 00] Smtuell: I don’t wish this on anyone

[11/27 17: 00] sbky: all I had a bad night a few nights ago. just cried and cried. lonely. worrying about money for Christmas.. but I made it through it

[11/27 17: 00] Smtuell: goodnight

[11/27 17: 01] Yoli: Joey: thank you. I appreciate your prayers. I feel that evil was all around me today but I’m not going to let it win.

[11/27 17: 01] Emerald: Smtuell, I am trying, I love him

[11/27 17: 01] brin: Yoli@16: 58, That was stressful. I hope your daughters cool down and make up.

[11/27 17: 01] Emerald: g'nite Smtuell

[11/27 17: 01] Suz215: Yoli: I’m so sorry for you guys!

[11/27 17: 01] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: brin - unfortunately many going through MLC do not believe they are and like wise they are not interested in counseling and the more it is mentioned to them the less they see that there is a resolution to the relationship problems. Many have found that they can go to counseling on their own and when the MLC spouse is ready they will join or go on their own. It's kind of like the old saying of not being able to see the forest for the trees, he is in the middle of his storm, he is having a hard enough time understanding what is happening to him and he is going to resent anyone, especially you telling him there are things wrong with him. He does know what he is doing isn't right, but he is coming apart inside, he can't seem to stop himself regardless of how much he wants to. That is why Jim recommends showing them unconditional love, they are actually beating themselves up inside and they need release from that pressure not having it pointed out to them.

[11/27 17: 01] Joey [Facilitator]: brin, prayer, prayer prayer and giving him back to the One who created him. : )

[11/27 17: 01] Suz215: Yoli: I’m so sorry for you guys!

[11/27 17: 02] Emerald: Yoli, I am so sorry, I will be praying for you

[11/27 17: 02] Joey [Facilitator]: Yoli, you go girlfriend!!!!!

[11/27 17: 02] Yoli: brin: I think they will. We were going to older daughter's boyfriends family's house to be with them tonight, but after the fight, younger one didn't want to go. I couldn't leave her here alone so I stayed with her.

[11/27 17: 02] Emerald: Swan, that sounds so much like my H!

[11/27 17: 02] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Joey - see you made it, welcome. Hannah, Yoli, sbky, glad you are here tonight. Sorry if I missed anyone, trying to catch up between reading and commenting.

[11/27 17: 03] Joey [Facilitator]: Brin, the other important thing WE need to remember is to ask God to make us into what He desires for us to be, then we'll be what our spouses need as well.

[11/27 17: 03] Emerald: Swan or Joey, is there a link for Lisa's email?

[11/27 17: 03] Yoli: Emerald: Thank you. With everything that you and everyone else is going through, I really appreciate your prayers.

[11/27 17: 03] Joey [Facilitator]: Swan, I finally clicked on Sun. night link like I usually do : )

[11/27 17: 04] Joey [Facilitator]: Emerald, it would be on the home page.

[11/27 17: 04] Emerald: Yoli, no problem, I have been doing a lot of praying

[11/27 17: 04] Yoli: Swanlake: Hi, how are you?

[11/27 17: 04] Joey [Facilitator]: Hi Hopes, how are you tonight?

[11/27 17: 05] Hannah2: hi hopes

[11/27 17: 05] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Emerald - you can reach Lisa at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

[11/27 17: 05] Yoli: Emerald: Good for you. I have to otherwise I'd be going nuts. It's what keeps me going.

[11/27 17: 05] brin: Swan@17: 01, If he's going through so much turmoil, how is it possible for him to be doing so well at work and getting raises and promotions? Puzzled. and I wonder if he really is having a hard time. He just pushes everything inside and blocks it out.

[11/27 17: 05] Emerald: thx Swan

[11/27 17: 06] BETH [Facilitator]: hi everyone I thought I would drop in for a few minutes. How is everyone enjoying their holiday?

[11/27 17: 06] Yoli: brin: Did you spend the day with any family or friends?

[11/27 17: 06] sbky: all I am starting to feel hopeless again.. it is hard to hold on.. when they total ignore us..

[11/27 17: 07] Joey [Facilitator]: Brin, they can carry on a good front but burn out after a period of time, it took my H about 3 years for it to effect his job.

[11/27 17: 07] brin: Joey@17: 03, Yes been praying a lot everyday for him. I also pray for myself ("His Wife" prayer in Power of Praying Wife)

[11/27 17: 07] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Yoli - Blessed by God, cradled in His mighty wings, all is well and being here with you wonderful folks is like icing on the cake.

[11/27 17: 07] Yoli: brin: At 17: 05, I can totally relate. my h has gotten 2nd raise and promotion in 1 year. He's now VP of the company making lots, and lots of money. He got a Lexus GX for a company car & just bought a house. He hired interior decorator & is going to

[11/27 17: 08] Hannah2: Yoli, I’m sorry for your bad day. I’m glad you are here with us now.

[11/27 17: 08] Joey [Facilitator]: sbky, remember it's not your strength you stand in but the Lords, stay close to Him, focus on Him, keep that intimate relationship with the Lord with prayer and staying in His word.

[11/27 17: 08] Suz215: Brin: depending on your husband's job.....it may not require a whole lot of emotion or thought for his output at work. They can put a front up

[11/27 17: 08] Yoli: brin: cont-hire someone to decorate house for Christmas. It seems he's going to have company Christmas party at his house. I feel that I have reallly been kicked in the teeth while he's doing so well.

[11/27 17: 09] brin: Yoli, Sorry you had to stay home but good to see you. I spent the day alone, got rejected at Church when I stopped by today to help with the lunch there. Yesterday had dinner at friend's house and went to TG Eve service together.

[11/27 17: 09] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: brin - work is often the last part of their lives to fall into chaos, the world says we are what we do for a living, worth is measured by income and because of that the MLC person often focuses more and more on that aspect of their lives, turning from family, friends, etc.

[11/27 17: 09] Yoli: Hannah2: Thank you. I know I’m going to be okay & so will girls. It's just going to take a while.

[11/27 17: 09] Joey [Facilitator]: ALL, the past week I've been getting praise and thank God for His goodness and answered prayer. Stop praying for the same thing over and over again. KNOW that God heard you, now thank Him for it!

[11/27 17: 10] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Hey Beth - welcome

[11/27 17: 10] sbky: Joey, I know I wouldn’t have made it this far if it wasn’t for the Lord..

[11/27 17: 10] Yoli: brin: I’m so sorry. You could have come here & held out. It's such a big city that they will not turn anyone away.

[11/27 17: 10] Suz215: Yoli: remember the phrase....be careful what you wish for.....all that glitters is not gold. You may have no idea what he's really going through.....I saw the same with my husband....little by little now...things are falling apart

[11/27 17: 10] Emerald: hi Beth

[11/27 17: 11] BETH [Facilitator]: yoli my H got burned out at work. For a while he took lots of overtime and after he left a couple of years he just had to take a leave . he used more sick time after he left then he used in almost all our years together.

[11/27 17: 11] Joey [Facilitator]: sbky, keep holding on darling!!!!!!!! He hasn't brought you this far to stop now.

[11/27 17: 11] Suz215: Sister Joey: Sing praises to Him that delivers

[11/27 17: 11] sbky: Joey good point.. !!!!!!!!

[11/27 17: 11] Suz215: Sorry....wasn't stuttering!

[11/27 17: 12] Joey [Facilitator]: Suz, amen!

[11/27 17: 12] sbky: Joey but I still wonder sometimes if this is my stubbornness. but I know better.

[11/27 17: 12] brin: Suz, Yoli, I think my H's job requires a lot of energy. What helps is he likes his job. But right before he got this job, he had horrible jobs and bosses. Made it very difficult for our M, but he doesn’t see that. He moved after a few mo in new job.

[11/27 17: 12] Yoli: Suz215: Thank you for that. I feel that he has sold his soul to Satan. He basically has no life outside of his job so he's the perfect candidate for VP. But he's so incredible miserable. Looks tired, not just old.

[11/27 17: 13] Joey [Facilitator]: Yoli, all that front is just for a season and it will end!!!!

[11/27 17: 13] Joey [Facilitator]: Suz, LOL!

[11/27 17: 13] BETH [Facilitator]: All we learn a lot through this group. I know I did and I also learned from my BIL. He says he wakes up and says to God every morning "Good morning Lord. Thank you for another day"

[11/27 17: 14] Joey [Facilitator]: sbky, I know you know better!

[11/27 17: 14] Hannah2: Hi Beth,

[11/27 17: 14] Yoli: Joey: Yes it is just a front. It's just really hard to hear how well he's doing and yet all he does with daughters is cry about money. Even younger daughter talked about how stingy he is. I was shocked to hear her say this.

[11/27 17: 14] Suz215: Ladies: What a price to pay for the moment.......look to our Lord for the rewards of our obedience....you betcha....ours delivers from on high...by His word!

[11/27 17: 15] BETH [Facilitator]: I believe we should be thanking God for what He has done for us every day. I know we are not always that thankful.

[11/27 17: 15] sbky: yes.. but it still gets lonely.. and my h moved again. this is his third time. this time was just to a different apartment in the same area

[11/27 17: 15] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Suz - hey girl, you are only supposed to push enter once - LOL!

[11/27 17: 15] Joey [Facilitator]: All, I've been listening to a pastor by the name of Bob Coy, His study last night moved me and I feel I was freed from some of my own garbage last night!

[11/27 17: 15] BETH [Facilitator]: Hi Hannah , how was your thanksgiving?

[11/27 17: 15] brin: Yoli@17: 10, Yes, I felt rejected and hurt. But I think God had a plan for my day - I ended up resting and my stepsons called to wish me Happy TG. That made me ball my eyes out, though ;)

[11/27 17: 16] Yoli: brin: My h's job also requires a lot of energy. But he gets to delegate & supervise. He's not a people person at all. He started out making peanuts when we got married. It seems that he was in a hurry to get his d final b/c he didn't want girls or I

[11/27 17: 16] Joey [Facilitator]: Yoli, BUT that’s a praise, she see it, let her learn all this on her own and stay out of that part of it.

[11/27 17: 16] Emerald: Joey, I am getting rid of my own garbage, it's so liberating!!!

[11/27 17: 17] Yoli: brin: cont-to enjoy his good fortune.

[11/27 17: 17] Suz215: Beth, Joey, Swan: let's get the music going for a "happy dance" to sing and praise Him for our blessings.....small....large....here.....and...yet to come!!!!!!

[11/27 17: 17] Joey [Facilitator]: sbky, I see that as your H not being sure what he wants.

[11/27 17: 17] brin: Swan17: 09, all, He's such a workaholic. Working even on Saturdays because they gave him more responsibilities. I guess he's bored and running away by working. It's a catch-22. Work->too tired-> no energy for our M.

[11/27 17: 17] sbky: Joey, me too

[11/27 17: 18] Yoli: Joey: You're right it is a praise. She also told me today that if he doesn't have time to see her, be with her, or be a part of her life, it's his loss, not hers. She's not the one that's going to have regrets. wow, & she's only 17.

[11/27 17: 18] Joey [Facilitator]: Emerald, it was amazing!!!!! I was on the floor sobbing before the Lord!

[11/27 17: 19] Yoli: brin: I know that Jim has said that they turn to their work as a way of not having to deal with what they have done. So what he is doing as well as mine, is very common for MLC.

[11/27 17: 19] Joey [Facilitator]: Yoli, that’s awesome, the more you stay out of that part, the better and it all between the two of them!

[11/27 17: 19] BETH [Facilitator]: yoli funny our D used to say the same thing about her father. She used to say he chose it so it is his lost. They are smart kids.

[11/27 17: 19] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: brin - typically when they put that much focus on working, it is because it is the only place they feel valued and it becomes almost like a drug to them so they give more of themselves to work to receive more worth. It is a vicious cycle.

[11/27 17: 20] brin: Yoli@17: 16, I wonder if that's what my H is thinking - saying he doesn't see a future for us.... But then again he also said he still loves me and thinks about me everyday. Was this just to butter me up because he feels guilty about not working on our M?

[11/27 17: 20] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Suz - wait, let me move away from the computer desk, don't want anything in the way of my dance for joy

[11/27 17: 20] Joey [Facilitator]: SUZ, bring on girlfriend, my hips are ready-set-HAPPY DANCE. Joy to the Lord, all the boys and girls!!!!!

[11/27 17: 21] Yoli: Joey & Beth: I really try to stay out of that relationship. All I said is that it makes me so sad when I see that he can't even go & support her at her games. I know that one day she will realize that I’m the one that was always there for her.

[11/27 17: 21] BETH [Facilitator]: brin and yoli they also get tired of handing money out to kids for university, helping the parents and ask when is it time for me?

[11/27 17: 21] sbky: Joey he told my d it was because it has better heat

[11/27 17: 21] brin: Joey, You mentioned praise for answered prayer. Can you share your answers to prayer?

[11/27 17: 22] Joey [Facilitator]: Yoli, yes, she will!

[11/27 17: 22] Suz215: You guys remind me of the chipmunks.......I guess Beth will have to be Alvin......hahahaha!

[11/27 17: 22] Emerald: Joey, I am so happy for you

[11/27 17: 22] Yoli: brin; No, I think he really meant what he said. It's just easier for them to not have to deal with personal issues.

[11/27 17: 23] BETH [Facilitator]: Yoli that is true, she will realize that you are always there for her.

[11/27 17: 23] Emerald: Room, my h just came in very curious

[11/27 17: 23] Suz215: The sudden lies are abounding in the word that God has spoken....for us to see and share....be still and know.........

[11/27 17: 23] Emerald: room-so I told him about the site, and he said,-"Do you think I’m in MLC?"

[11/27 17: 24] brin: Beth@17: 21, Well he doesn't have to help his parents, but yes he does have to give child support and doesn't have much to himself. Was very angry about leaving our M with less money than BF he married me... Strange expectations of our M.

[11/27 17: 24] BETH [Facilitator]: iz215. Today as I was doing my housework I had a Cd on and played it over and over. I would not be surprised if the neighbors heard it.

[11/27 17: 24] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: All - if you don't journal, I highly recommend doing so, it really helps to put your thoughts, emotions, sorrows, joys, prayers, answers to prayer and God's blessings on paper.

[11/27 17: 24] Emerald: Room, I told h, he matched the symptoms and I was going to get Jim's book

[11/27 17: 25] sbky: well I am gonna go my son wants the internet. night all

[11/27 17: 25] Joey [Facilitator]: Brin, my h included me in a BCC Happy Thanksgiving e-mail this morning without me e-mailing him first. I got a Christmas card from "our" grandmother and she said I was a very special granddaughter-n-law, my in-laws said they hoped to see me soon yesterday when I talked to them. I just trust God. I also got included in an e-mail from my MIL this morning and she had my H and my names side by side for a change!

[11/27 17: 25] Emerald: Room-i told him I loved him and wanted to understand him, he seemed thoughtful

[11/27 17: 25] BETH [Facilitator]: brin I mean before they leave and that is a part of mlc too.

[11/27 17: 25] Yoli: Beth: Yes he has gotten tired of that, but the way things have fallen out have been ugly. the girls are really hurt. He said he didn't want to be an ATM & that's what he's turned into. His parents have passed away so he doesn't have to take care

[11/27 17: 25] Emerald: Joey, that sounds encouraging!

[11/27 17: 26] Suz215: Beth: every seed planted reaps great harvest if done with a prayerful heart!

[11/27 17: 26] Emerald: All-he said, "do they (the room) think I’m a horrible person?' I told him not at all! He seemed surprised

[11/27 17: 26] Joey [Facilitator]: Emerald, the sooner your able to let this go and trust God for the out come, it's a little easier!

[11/27 17: 27] BETH [Facilitator]: yoli they feel older and don't want to be. They are afraid the younger ones will get ahead of them at work. They feel they are useless or being thrown out of a job.

[11/27 17: 27] brin: Joey@17: 25, Wow, nice to get card from your H. Hey it's possible that you were the ONLY name in his BCC list.. Very nice praises.

[11/27 17: 27] Emerald: Joey, I am trying, everyday, I think I am learning to let go

[11/27 17: 28] Joey [Facilitator]: Emerald, I went back and listened to the CD again this afternoon hoping for more break throughs!

[11/27 17: 28] Yoli: Beth: Well if you're talking age, it took him a long time to get to this point in his career. He knew he was going to get promotion but his rewards are ridiculous. I know he does feel older. He had begun to talk about physical problems before he left.

[11/27 17: 29] BETH [Facilitator]: emerald it may take a long time to let go and for some it takes even longer. For me it took a long time. Even now I find sometimes I feel I am going back to my old ways so I get back on track again.

[11/27 17: 29] Emerald: Joey, what was the pastor's name again?

[11/27 17: 29] Joey [Facilitator]: Brin, card was from grandmother and I’m pretty sure others were included. He's e-mailed me normally before. I wanted to ask our old friends today if they heard from h but it didn't come up in a way I could ask.

[11/27 17: 29] brin: Yoli@17: 22, Thanks. I hope that's the case. It has to be since he's never said he doesn't love me or not in love with me.

[11/27 17: 30] Joey [Facilitator]: Emerald, Bob Coy

[11/27 17: 30] Emerald: Beth, thx, I feel like I’m taking baby steps, but at least that's still forward, Praise God!

[11/27 17: 30] Emerald: Thx Joey

[11/27 17: 30] BETH [Facilitator]: Yoli my H just turned 50 and didn't want to or want any mention of or celebration. yet I turned 50 2 months before him and he and D had a party for me. it was ok for me to be 50 but not him.

[11/27 17: 31] Suz215: Joey: I really like him, too!

[11/27 17: 31] Joey [Facilitator]: Emerald, I think you'll like him!

[11/27 17: 31] Suz215: He's from the Detroit area originally.....and what a testimony he has!

[11/27 17: 31] BETH [Facilitator]: Emerald baby steps is better then not at all. Thank God for those baby steps.

[11/27 17: 32] Emerald: Joey, I found a web site, is he with Calvary chapel Ft Lauderdale?

[11/27 17: 32] Hannah [Facilitator]: brin what did you do today?

[11/27 17: 32] Emerald: Beth, Amen to that!

[11/27 17: 33] Joey [Facilitator]: Emerald, YES!!!!

[11/27 17: 33] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Emerald - most in MLC have low opinions of themselves and in that, they believe everyone else does too. Jim says that one of the most important things we can offer our MLC spouse is affirmation, but it must be sincere they will see through fluff quickly.

[11/27 17: 33] Yoli: Beth: Yeah that sounds like mine. I’m almost 3 years older than him. He's about to turn 49 & I think it's scaring him. But he didn't have to do what he did. I was all alone when I turned 50. I didn't like it but there wasn't much I could do. He always

[11/27 17: 34] Yoli: Beth: cont-used to say that the only alternative to not wanting to have a birthday was death. I wonder if he still thinks that.

[11/27 17: 34] Joey [Facilitator]: Beth, I don't think I said Hello to you yet tonight, I’m so sorry!!!!!

[11/27 17: 34] Suz215: Emerald: Mike Kessler(?) is another great resource...CSN radio....Calvary Satellite, Shoshone Falls, Idaho area

[11/27 17: 34] Emerald: thx Joey

[11/27 17: 34] Suz215: Emerald: Mike Kessler(?) is another great resource...CSN radio....Calvary Satellite, Shoshone Falls, Idaho area

[11/27 17: 34] Emerald: Swan, does this include being intimate? Even though he says he doesn't love me?

[11/27 17: 35] Emerald: Thx Suz

[11/27 17: 35] brin: Hannah@17: 32, I didn't do anything exciting, just my normal routine. I was going to watch "Women" DVD but decided to join chat instead. Been alone all day and been crying on/off. But stepsons did call to wish - PTL for that!

[11/27 17: 35] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Suz and Joey - Chip Ingram is one of my favorites, there actually are many

[11/27 17: 35] Hannah [Facilitator]: Sorry I keep getting bumped out of chat. LISA when you read this I get Microsoft JET Database Engine error '80004005'

[11/27 17: 36] BETH [Facilitator]: Yoli for some reason age seems a big deal to men more then women. To me I felt thankful that I lived to that age. I have seen and heard of so many young people dying.

[11/27 17: 36] Hannah [Facilitator]: Is Women out? I thought it came out in December?

[11/27 17: 36] Suz215: Sister Swan: isn't that the truth......CSN has so many wonderful supportive people!

[11/27 17: 36] BETH [Facilitator]: Joey if you didn't notice I came in that is ok. I forgive you.

[11/27 17: 37] Hannah [Facilitator]: brin it is so sad when we have to go through the holidays alone but remember we are not completely alone. God is always there if we seek Him.

[11/27 17: 37] Joey [Facilitator]: Emerald, when it comes to being intimate, be prepared not to get hurt during this journey of them flipping and flopping back and forth. Protect yourself and your body if you know what iI mean.

[11/27 17: 37] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Emerald - intimacy depends on if it would violate your boundaries or not, if he is involved with another person and you do not want to take the risk, then you should express to him how much you love him, desire him and want to be with him, however, cannot because... whatever the reason may be.

[11/27 17: 38] Yoli: Beth: Well FIL died relatively young. He was 57. MIL had started having lots of problems since she was 35. Husband gets kidney stones, diverticulitis, has Reynaud's disease, had hepatitis when he was 20. Medically speaking he's not got very good gene

[11/27 17: 38] Joey [Facilitator]: Swan, I like Chip Ingram too!

[11/27 17: 38] Suz215: Beth: I’m 10 yrs older than my husband...he wanted someone younger....he got someone 5 yrs older....and....doesn't do a thing like we used to!

[11/27 17: 38] Emerald: Joey, he isn't physically w/anyone, just internet, but this emotional rollercoaster is the pits!!!!!!!

[11/27 17: 38] brin: Hannah, No it's the 1939 version of "Women". Yes I know God is there, and for me.

[11/27 17: 38] BETH [Facilitator]: brin , yoli and Emerald it is hard on holidays but as time goes on it gets easier and you learn to cope better.

[11/27 17: 39] Emerald: Beth, I hope so, I get tired of crying every day!

[11/27 17: 39] Suz215: and pray harder!

[11/27 17: 39] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Hannah - usually if you will click on the "back" button, it will take you right back to the chat room.

[11/27 17: 39] Joey [Facilitator]: Emerald, bind up the spirit of confusion in that man and release a sound mind!!!!

[11/27 17: 39] Yoli: Beth: cont-But it's not just age. You know he never complimented me or the girls for anything. We never heard, you're pretty, smart, dumb, a pig, nothing. You think he knows that blaming me wasn't true?

[11/27 17: 40] Emerald: Amen Joey! I have been praying for that!!

[11/27 17: 40] Hannah [Facilitator]: swan I did and it knocked me back to sign in page

[11/27 17: 40] BETH [Facilitator]: Yoli my H's father died at a young age in his 50's and his mother too. he had a sister in her late 20's die with cancer. Then he had a brother die with a heart attack who just turned 50 and later a sister die with cancer in late 50's. Not so good for him either.

[11/27 17: 40] Yoli: Beth: Today was hard b/c daughters were upset. I was doing okay. Just a little sad since we were here by ourselves. No family here.

[11/27 17: 40] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Suz - I have to admit, csn.com is my addiction, can't miss a day!

[11/27 17: 40] Joey [Facilitator]: Hannah, that happened a lot to me last Sunday.

[11/27 17: 41] Hannah [Facilitator]: brin I assume they are both the same story but the one in December is an updated version?

[11/27 17: 41] Joey [Facilitator]: Emerald, start thanking God as if He has already done it for you, REGARDLESS of what you see or hear!

[11/27 17: 42] Hannah [Facilitator]: Happened again!!!

[11/27 17: 42] BETH [Facilitator]: Emerald you will get better and God will give you the strength you need. I assume you have no children home?? Any family around?

[11/27 17: 42] Yoli: Beth: At 17: 39 I meant that he couldn't handle getting older but then he did a lot of things that caused damage. He had a terrible relationship with his father. doesn't really know his siblings very well.

[11/27 17: 42] brin: Hannah, I think they are supposed to be the same story. Jo, Cricket and I were chatting about this last week. They said that the older version is better. So I am going to watch the 1939 version!

[11/27 17: 42] Suz215: Heavenly Father, thank You for the sharing of these individuals tonight....kep us close to Your heart as we know what You have promised in obedience to Your word! In Your precious and Holy Name, Amen!

[11/27 17: 43] Suz215: keep

[11/27 17: 43] Emerald: Beth, I have 2 sons, 14 and 12 at home

[11/27 17: 43] BETH [Facilitator]: Yoli what happened today. I never got what happened. I had thanksgiving dinner , just my D and I.I am getting used to it now.

[11/27 17: 43] Joey [Facilitator]: Hannah, either someone is trying to keep you from giving a positive word tonight or you missing being blessed!

[11/27 17: 43] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Joey - Chip has a study - The Miracle of Life Change - it is absolutely awesome. He has many, but this is the newest one I am doing.

[11/27 17: 43] Yoli: Suz215: Thank you.

[11/27 17: 43] Emerald: Beth, I have a supportive family,

[11/27 17: 43] Emerald: Suz215,thx!

[11/27 17: 44] Joey [Facilitator]: Suz, AMEN!!!!

[11/27 17: 44] Emerald: got kicked off, sorry

[11/27 17: 44] brin: Bet@17: 38, I hope it gets easier. This is my 3rd TG without my H. Amazingly, last year he dropped by for a few hours but wasn't in a good mood. It was as if he was trying to convince himself why he left. Seems that way with every visit afterwards.

[11/27 17: 44] Suz215: {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{group hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[11/27 17: 44] Joey [Facilitator]: Swan, I'll have to check that out the next couple of days - thanks

[11/27 17: 45] BETH [Facilitator]: Emerald even though it is hard for the children I am glad you have them right now with you.I am glad you have a supportive family.

[11/27 17: 45] Yoli: Beth: My daughters had a blowout about their behaviors towards each other & their dad. I was surprised at younger daughter's comments. she doesn't share much info at all but she did today. It made me cry to see them acting out like this. I didn't know

[11/27 17: 45] Emerald: awwww! thx Suz!

[11/27 17: 45] Suz215: Nancy Leigh Demoss has been talking about the submissive wife....she's another good resource!

[11/27 17: 46] Emerald: Beth, thx, me too, but his brother and sil think he is losing it, they don't understand about MLC

[11/27 17: 46] Emerald: hi digimom

[11/27 17: 46] BETH [Facilitator]: brin with God's help yes it gets easier or you are stronger to be able to cope with it. make plans to be with family or friends for holidays.

[11/27 17: 46] Joey [Facilitator]: Hi Digi, how are you tonight?

[11/27 17: 46] Yoli: Beth: cont-Younger daughter wanted to leave, so I hid her keys. She said older daughter hated dad & she was only using him for money, that she had no emotion or feelings for him. She said she loved her dad so much. She said dog is the only thing she

[11/27 17: 46] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Joey - if you go to www.lote.com they have some great values in the bookstore.

[11/27 17: 46] brin: Suz, Thanks for the hug. I love Nancy Leigh DeMoss and her voice. It's so gentle and soothing.

[11/27 17: 47] DigiMom: Hi Everyone, just finished eating with my children, thought I would avoid cleanup by coming to chat instead!

[11/27 17: 47] Yoli: Beth: cont-has from previous time (before MLC). She told me that she talks to dad all the time about what's going on & how she feels.

[11/27 17: 47] brin: Hi Digimom, good to see you. How was your dinner?

[11/27 17: 47] Suz215: You guys that are rather new to this journey feel like the bottom of shoe pretty much...but, as you can see from those of us that have come before......in His helping way have acquired the sources to share and grow.....in His way!

[11/27 17: 48] Joey [Facilitator]: swan, thanks! I'll make a note

[11/27 17: 48] BETH [Facilitator]: yoli all children take it differently. A friend of mine has 3 children and the 2 boys nearly hate their father after but their D kept in contact with him and still do.

[11/27 17: 48] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Suz - Amen girl Amen!

[11/27 17: 48] brin: Beth@17: 46, Yes, I will make plans next time. I didn't in case my H dropped by (like he did last year).

[11/27 17: 49] Suz215: and that's the truth....and....I'm sticking to it!

[11/27 17: 49] BETH [Facilitator]: Yoli I am glad she has a relationship with her father. children are a link between us.

[11/27 17: 49] DigiMom: Hey Brin, I just left you another email.

[11/27 17: 49] Joey [Facilitator]: Digi, glad you joined us and allowed the dishes to wait!

[11/27 17: 49] Suz215: Swan: doesn't this seem like the "olden days"?

[11/27 17: 50] BETH [Facilitator]: brin don't ever depend on your H turning up. Don't stop making plans because he may turn up. They seldom do.

[11/27 17: 50] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Welcome DigiMom, glad you have joined us tonight

[11/27 17: 50] brin: Hey Digimom, OK just saw it. Thanks. Good that the leftovers are taken care of. Not sure if I will get to the movie. I seem to be glued to chat now... : )

[11/27 17: 51] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Suz - actually, yes it does

[11/27 17: 51] BETH [Facilitator]: All I am going . I thought I would drop in for a few minutes. I have a early rise tomorrow. In fact I have 3 x 12 hr shifts to do now.

[11/27 17: 51] Joey [Facilitator]: Brin, that’s setting yourself up for disappointment, they flip flop to much to count on them.

[11/27 17: 51] Yoli: Beth: That's what I talked to younger daughter about. I think she's just really hurt & doesn't understand right now.

[11/27 17: 51] Joey [Facilitator]: Beth, get some rest and take good care of yourself!!!! Love to you!

[11/27 17: 51] DigiMom: Hi Beth, Swan Joey, did you all have a good day?

[11/27 17: 51] Suz215: SMILE....in His way we persist and persevere!

[11/27 17: 52] Suz215: Love and restful night Beth!

[11/27 17: 52] brin: Beth@17: 50, Charlyne talks about asking our spouse to TG dinner. Well, I didn't because it is only about 3 weeks since his "not getting back tog" email! I am contemplating inviting him to our Church Christmas concert and am praying about it.

[11/27 17: 52] Joey [Facilitator]: Digi, it was a good day.

[11/27 17: 53] Emerald: I would just like to say how much coming here is helping me, I don't feel so alone now, THANKS!!!

[11/27 17: 53] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: DigiMom - I started my day out with devotionals and made out my list of 10 things I have to be thankful to the Lord for and have been adding to it all day. Makes me smile each time I recognize another.

[11/27 17: 54] Yoli: Emerald: The facilitators and chat members are great. when I found the chat room, I couldn't wait for their scheduled times so that I could feel connected with someone who understood how I felt & what I was going through.

[11/27 17: 54] Joey [Facilitator]: Emerald, we're all part of a special family and we're here for each other. Most people don't get it or understand. we're glad you were here tonight as well!

[11/27 17: 55] brin: Swan, I said grace tonight and listed 10 things during my grace prayer. Thanks for the suggestion : )

[11/27 17: 55] Suz215: Joey: Ditto!

[11/27 17: 55] Emerald: Yoli, that's exactly how I feel

[11/27 17: 55] DigiMom: Swan, wow what a wonderful idea

[11/27 17: 55] Emerald: Thx Joey!

[11/27 17: 55] DigiMom: Joey, glad to hear.

[11/27 17: 56] Joey [Facilitator]: Swan, your right. sometimes I think we're so busy looking for the big praises we sometimes miss the small but just as important praises!

[11/27 17: 56] Yoli: brin: at 17: 50, I know h can't be counted on. He was asking daughters about my surgery, so I sent him email with the few details I know. I asked him to please be at the hospital for me & daughters, but if he couldn't, then I asked him for his prayers.

[11/27 17: 56] DigiMom: all, I did not end up inviting my h home because my daughter did not want him here.

[11/27 17: 57] brin: Joey@17: 51, You're right that they flip flop too much. I wish I had signed up to help at Church rather than dropping in last minute. I didn't sign up in case he dropped by. Didn't have anyone to ask over for TG dinner. I will figure something out next time

[11/27 17: 57] Yoli: brin: cont-that's about all I can ask him for because I don't think he even prays any more. I’m hoping that while he's at his aunts house, alone, he has a Damascus Road experience. All I can do is pray.

[11/27 17: 57] Joey [Facilitator]: Digi, I got included in a surprise Thanksgiving e-mail from my H this morning.

[11/27 17: 57] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Emerald - we are glad you are here and hope you come back during the regular chat nights, I have to say there were times the support I received here helped me make it through some really tough trials.

[11/27 17: 57] Hannah [Facilitator]: All I’m going to call Helpme, I’m concerned about her and thought she would be in chat tonight.

[11/27 17: 58] Emerald: swan, I will be here, is the next one Monday?

[11/27 17: 58] Joey [Facilitator]: Brin, I have a feeling you'd be such a blessing no matter where you would be at : )

[11/27 17: 58] Joey [Facilitator]: Hannah, give her our love please!!!!

[11/27 17: 58] brin: Yoli@17: 57, I have been thanking God (in advance) for a Damascus road experience for my H. When is your surgery? Is it major surgery?

[11/27 17: 59] Yoli: Emerald: I think it's on Friday and it's for 2 hours.

[11/27 17: 59] Emerald: thanks Yoli

[11/27 17: 59] Yoli: brin: It's scheduled for 12/23. It should only be outpatient surgery, but my sister ended up staying in hospital 3 days. She had the same surgery I’m having.

[11/27 18: 00] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Emerald - actually tomorrow evening from 6: 00 to 8: 00 pacific time, then Sunday from 6: 00 to 7: 00 pacific time, then Monday from 6: 00 to 7: 00 pacific time (Jim facilitates this chat) and on Wednesday also from 6: 00 to 7: 00 pm pacific time.

[11/27 18: 00] Emerald: Yoli, I will be praying for you on your surgery date

[11/27 18: 00] Emerald: I will be here tomorrow then!

[11/27 18: 01] brin: Joey@17: 58, Thanks. You made me tear up. Someday soon I hope I can think of myself as a blessing.

[11/27 18: 01] Joey [Facilitator]: Swan, do we close at 9: 00 EST tonight?

[11/27 18: 01] Yoli: Emerald: Thank you. I appreciate it.

[11/27 18: 01] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Hannah - she isn't with the kids? Give her our love and tell her we would love for her to join us

[11/27 18: 01] Joey [Facilitator]: Brin, darling, YOU ALREADY ARE!!!!!! your a daughter of the the GREAT I AM!

[11/27 18: 01] Suz215: Joey: It's 11PM....I thought 4 hours!

[11/27 18: 01] Emerald: Suz

[11/27 18: 01] brin: Yoli, I hope your surgery goes really well. I can understand your concern over it.

[11/27 18: 02] Yoli: Emerald: I have a niece whose daughter's name is Emerald Rain. We aren't Irish by any stretch of the imagination. she's a beautiful little girl.

[11/27 18: 02] Joey [Facilitator]: Yoli, remind us of your surgery so we can be praying for you!!!

[11/27 18: 02] Suz215: Emerald: I would have expected nothing else from a girl with your name!!!!!!

[11/27 18: 02] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Joey - actually I will be staying with the room until 11: 00 EST tonight, the room was open for a special four hours tonight.

[11/27 18: 03] Hannah [Facilitator]: All I’m going to call Helpme, I’m concerned about her and thought she would be in chat tonight.

[11/27 18: 03] Emerald: I am leaving for a while, I’ll try to come back later,

[11/27 18: 03] Yoli: brin: After today's blowout, I told daughter's they weren't responsible for taking care of me. So I told them that if they wanted to spend Christmas with their dad I was okay with that. I didn't want to put a damper on their holiday. I don't want to

[11/27 18: 03] Emerald: not, have a great night everyone!

[11/27 18: 03] brin: Joey@18: 01, Thanks Joey. You're such a sweetheart. Like Jo says "a pea-picking heart"

[11/27 18: 03] Yoli: brin: cont-be in the hospital for 3 days.

[11/27 18: 04] Suz215: Emerald: see part of coming here is as Joey and e'one says....support....but, you'll be treated like family.....so, brush your teeth and comb your hair before you come to chat....we can be kind...but, we’re family!

[11/27 18: 04] Yoli: Joey: Deal, I will remind you all. I was going to say "ya'll" but didn't want to be so stereotypical.

[11/27 18: 06] Joey [Facilitator]: Swan, OK, I'll be in most of the time but may leave the computer for a few minutes at a time.

[11/27 18: 06] Hannah [Facilitator]: Swan just spoke to helpme. She is sorry she can't help out tonight

[11/27 18: 06] Suz215: Sisters: I can stay tonight.....for once I can help!

[11/27 18: 07] Joey [Facilitator]: yoli, you can say ya'll I do at times, southern thing : )

[11/27 18: 07] Hannah [Facilitator]: Swan things turned around for her. Her h backed out on the kids so they all spent Thanksgiving at her house and her mom joined them.

[11/27 18: 07] brin: Yoli, Yes, please do remind us about your surgery. It was sweet of you to offer for your girls to spend Christmas with their Dad.

[11/27 18: 08] Yoli: All: I’m going to get ready for Midnight madness sales. Just wanted to thank you all so much for everything. You make me strong. thanks again.

[11/27 18: 08] brin: Be right back. Gotta to get a snack.

[11/27 18: 08] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Hannah - how is she doing and we have plenty of help.

[11/27 18: 08] Joey [Facilitator]: Hannah, grandbabies too?????

[11/27 18: 09] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Joey - Not even I am sitting here at my computer every second, have gotten up walked around, got a snack, took at break, etc. It is just nice having your sweet smiling self here.

[11/27 18: 11] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Hannah - God works in marvelous ways, she really needed to have her family with her and so it was

[11/27 18: 12] Hannah [Facilitator]: Swan yes I know. It seemed she would be alone and her mom alone in her home. I’m glad they were altogether.

[11/27 18: 12] Hannah [Facilitator]: Joey grandbabies

[11/27 18: 12] Hannah [Facilitator]: Joey grandbabies too.

[11/27 18: 13] Hannah [Facilitator]: Swan what did you do today? Did you eat with friends? How is Kandy doing?

[11/27 18: 13] Cricket [Facilitator]: Happy Thanksgiving all. Ran up to the club house at the RV Center I’m staying at with my sister and BIL to wish you all a nice holiday.

[11/27 18: 15] Suz215: Hey Cricket: Happy Thanksgiving day to you!

[11/27 18: 16] Cricket [Facilitator]: Brin - I've done the same thing, not made plans in hopes of... after a while I learned it was best to make plans not expecting anything and if they call or stop by, it's good for the to see we're not just sitting around waiting. If it's really important people understand if we need to cancel.

[11/27 18: 16] Suz215: Hannah: So...how far are you from Plattsburgh? I'd love to go there.....and call my husband to say...hey...guess where I’m at...he's originally from Rochester.

[11/27 18: 16] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Hannah - Kandy has somewhat fallen off the grid, she doesn't respond to attempts of contact, she stopped attending church, Bible study group, etc. I was invited to have dinner with the family who own the condo upstairs

[11/27 18: 17] brin: Cricket, Good to see you. Happy Thanksgiving. Did you get a chance to see your H yet?

[11/27 18: 17] Joey [Facilitator]: Hannah, AWESOME, whats a blessing and praise. A great example of how God does take care of things for us!

[11/27 18: 17] Cricket [Facilitator]: Suz - No, I met my Sis & BIL at a Thousand Trails RV Center - I rented a little cabin and they're here with their RV. We're still BBQ'ing our turkey but I ran up to drop in on you all

[11/27 18: 18] Suz215: Great!! Extend love and blessings to them, also! How much fun!!!!

[11/27 18: 18] Cricket [Facilitator]: Brin - I stopped at his folks where he was, he called me as I was driving & when I arrived, we all went to lunch. I visited a few hours and then drove to meet my sis. H has asked that I come by on Saturday and so far that's the plan.

[11/27 18: 18] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Cricket - well I for one am honored that you have come to visit with us for a few minutes

[11/27 18: 18] Joey [Facilitator]: all, a stander friend just called for our prayer time, I'll be back in a little bit - K!

[11/27 18: 19] brin: Cricket@18: 16, I agree, in hindsight. I didn't have anyone to invite over but did go to a friend's house for TG Eve. When my stepsons called, and asked what I was doing, I should have told them about last night's time at friend in case my H asked the

[11/27 18: 19] Cricket [Facilitator]: Brin - It feels like this was the right decision. H called and left me a voice mail on my cell wishing me Happy TG.

[11/27 18: 20] Cricket [Facilitator]: Brin - Yes it's much better to keep busy, visit friends or family or help at church, etc. Too difficult sitting home alone, healthier doing something

[11/27 18: 20] Suz215: Cricket: extra blessings on you and your husband as God keeps you guided and blesses him home!

[11/27 18: 21] Cricket [Facilitator]: All - I’m feeling guilty having left my sis & BIL back at my cabin BBQ the turkey so feel I should get back. Just want you to know I’m thinking of everyone. (No internet service at my cabin so needed to drive here)

[11/27 18: 21] DigiMom: all, I am going to sign off for a bit, my screen keeps disappearing.

[11/27 18: 22] Joey [Facilitator]: Cricket, I got included in a Thanksgiving e-mail from my H this morning without sending one 1st.

[11/27 18: 22] Cricket [Facilitator]: Suz - Thank you so much. There is much work still to be done in my H & in both of us, but God is mighty and obviously working.

[11/27 18: 22] brin: Cricket, I am so glad that your H called you to wish you Happy TG. And that you had lunch with him and also have another "date" this Sat. I hope you guys have a good time together.

[11/27 18: 22] Suz215: Okie dokie...be safe....enjoy your family...husband, too!

[11/27 18: 23] Cricket [Facilitator]: Brin - Thanks - I will be driving down to visit with H and in laws on Saturday which will be nice, but good to still give space too & not be too needy.

[11/27 18: 23] Joey [Facilitator]: Cricket, ditto on Brin’s statement!

[11/27 18: 23] Cricket [Facilitator]: Blessings to you all... take care.

[11/27 18: 24] Cricket [Facilitator]: Joey Thanks much my biker sis.

[11/27 18: 25] Cricket [Facilitator]: Nite all.

[11/27 18: 26] Suz215: Joey: I saw those feet itching to dance on that note, eh?

[11/27 18: 26] Joey [Facilitator]: Hi Aloha!!!

[11/27 18: 27] Joey [Facilitator]: suz, you know me and praises like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[11/27 18: 27] Suz215: Thanksgiving greetings, Aloha!

[11/27 18: 27] Aloha: Joey: Hey there.

[11/27 18: 27] Suz215: Thanksgiving greetings, Aloha!

[11/27 18: 27] Aloha: Suz215: same to you all.

[11/27 18: 27] Suz215: Joey: God is so incredible.....!!!!!!

[11/27 18: 28] Suz215: Is Swan still here?

[11/27 18: 28] Suz215: Is Swan still here?

[11/27 18: 28] Joey [Facilitator]: Aloha, did you have an awesome day in the Lord????

[11/27 18: 29] Joey [Facilitator]: Suz, she may be taking a break from the computer, she's been on since it opened.

[11/27 18: 29] Joey [Facilitator]: Agreene, welcome, Happy Thanksgiving, hope you have a joyous day in the Lord!

[11/27 18: 30] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Suz - yeah, I’m still here was just over in the kitchen warming a snack.

[11/27 18: 30] Suz215: Joey: OK.....Greetings Agreene!

[11/27 18: 30] brin: Swan, Joey, Hannah, all, I should sign off as I am getting tired and still need to do my prayers. Thanks so much for being here tonight for me. Happy Thanksgiving. Give thanks to God for He is good.

[11/27 18: 30] AGreene: thank you Joey

[11/27 18: 30] Hannah [Facilitator]: Cricket is your h with his parents?

[11/27 18: 30] Suz215: Not having withdrawal or anything!!!!

[11/27 18: 30] Hannah [Facilitator]: brin take care dear friend.

[11/27 18: 31] Aloha: Joey: Yes. Had a wonderful dinner with family minus h. Can't help but wonder how his TG is going.

[11/27 18: 31] Joey [Facilitator]: Suz, God is amazing and awesome, just wanting us to fall deeply in love with Him like no one else before!

[11/27 18: 31] AGreene: having a tough day emotionally, first thanksgiving without h, he flew home to be with his sister for Thanksgiving

[11/27 18: 31] Joey [Facilitator]: Brin, take good care of yourself darling! sweet sleep!

[11/27 18: 31] Suz215: Hannah: she's gone...but, I think he is....'cuz, she's meeting them again in the next day or so!

[11/27 18: 32] Hannah [Facilitator]: Digi my screen keeps disappearing - you are not alone.

[11/27 18: 32] Hannah [Facilitator]: Suz thanks. What did you do today?

[11/27 18: 32] Suz215: AG: did you spend the day with anyone?

[11/27 18: 33] Joey [Facilitator]: Aloha, mine included me in an TG e-mail but I have no clue were he is BUT God knows : )

[11/27 18: 33] Aloha: Hannah: My screen is going that too, it must be this site.

[11/27 18: 33] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: AGreene - welcome, we are glad you have joined us.

[11/27 18: 33] Suz215: Sister H: did the Mom and G'mom thing with my dtr and g'son. He helped me shovel the driveway at my house the other day...he's 5.

[11/27 18: 33] AGreene: yes suz thankfully I had my two kids and they were great, all other family lives away

[11/27 18: 34] Joey [Facilitator]: Hannah, I thought you did and I was like huh?

[11/27 18: 34] Joey [Facilitator]: Agreene, 1st holidays are hard but we DO make it through them!

[11/27 18: 35] Aloha: Joey: At least you received an invite. We haven't heard from h in 1-1/2yr.

[11/27 18: 35] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Suz - bet that was a Kodak moment, I just love when my grandson wants to help with tasks

[11/27 18: 35] Suz215: AG: thank God for the blessings...as hard as it is or may be DON"T dwell in the woulda, coulda shoulda's.....satann loves to drag down his street!

[11/27 18: 36] Joey [Facilitator]: Aloha, just Happy Thanksgiving wishes was all. no invites.

[11/27 18: 37] Suz215: Swan: and they always have to do it there way.

[11/27 18: 37] Joey [Facilitator]: Aloha, in the beginning it wasn't uncommon for my H to go 6-9 months at a stretch with no contact but in time he put me on his I’m buddy list and included me in group e-mails.

[11/27 18: 38] Suz215: their

[11/27 18: 38] Aloha: Joey: My h has been gone 2 yrs. and we've been divorced 1 yr and 3 mos. like whose counting?

[11/27 18: 38] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Suz - they are very full of ideas on how it can be done better aren't they

[11/27 18: 39] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: welcome pam

[11/27 18: 39] Suz215: Would anyone like some pie? Extra whipped cream?

[11/27 18: 39] Suz215: Yup!

[11/27 18: 40] pam: Hi Swan just wanted to stop by and say hi to all. How was your thanksgiving

[11/27 18: 40] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Suz - pumpkin with a pecan crumb top?

[11/27 18: 40] Joey [Facilitator]: Aloha, it's better not to, I don't focus on what the earthly court says but what God told me. I act and respond as a married person. even when friends make comments, I just keep right on going!

[11/27 18: 40] Joey [Facilitator]: hi Pam!!!

[11/27 18: 41] pam: Hi Joey how are you.

[11/27 18: 42] Joey [Facilitator]: Pam, I’m really good!!!!! how are you?

[11/27 18: 42] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Pam - a nice day, friends, talked with grandson, good dinner, etc.

[11/27 18: 43] Joey [Facilitator]: Hi Tam, did you have a good TG????

[11/27 18: 43] pam: Is any one else having problems tonight. I keep getting kick off with out being logout.

[11/27 18: 43] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Tamashii - Hey guy how are you, glad you are here with us.

[11/27 18: 43] Joey [Facilitator]: Pam, yes

[11/27 18: 44] Aloha: Pam: I’m having problems with my connection too. It must be this site.

[11/27 18: 44] pam: Joey had an ok day. spent it alone doing things around the house. went to a restaurant and got and turkey dinner and brought it home. Had my pumpkin pie too.

[11/27 18: 44] Tamashii: Swan: I’m stuffed. Think I’m gonna hurl...: -)

[11/27 18: 44] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: pam - several people are having difficulty with the site.

[11/27 18: 45] Joey [Facilitator]: Pam, good for you girlfriend!!!!! Proud of you!

[11/27 18: 45] Tamashii: Swan: Kidding. Bosco and I ate too many vanilla wafers!

[11/27 18: 45] Joey [Facilitator]: Tam, me too, twice over.

[11/27 18: 45] AGreene: how do you keep going

[11/27 18: 46] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Tamashii - plop plop fizz fizz

[11/27 18: 46] Tamashii: Joey: My day was good.

[11/27 18: 46] AGreene: meaning how do you continue to want to keep a relationship with mlc h

[11/27 18: 47] Tamashii: Swan: I’m drinking coke. Does that count?

[11/27 18: 47] Joey [Facilitator]: Agreene, you follow their lead when they reach out and keep a 0 expectation with them.

[11/27 18: 48] Suz215: Bon soir Tamashii!

[11/27 18: 49] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Tamashii - should be 7up or gingerale, but whatever helps get a good burp out

[11/27 18: 49] Joey [Facilitator]: Pam, I mean I was proud of you for having your turkey and pumkin pie today!

[11/27 18: 49] Tamashii: Suz my dove! Where you been?

[11/27 18: 49] Suz215: Pam: Just use the back button...I've had to do that a time or 2 tonight.

[11/27 18: 49] AGreene: but how do I keep doing that, I feel like giving up, why want to when h just puts me down and says its all my fault

[11/27 18: 50] Suz215: Vernor's gingerale....a Detroit remedy!!!!!!

[11/27 18: 50] pam: Thanks Joey I was too. thought about not eating.

[11/27 18: 50] Tamashii: Joey: Oooh...don't say "pie"

[11/27 18: 50] pam: Suz215 I have been but the last time it kicked me out completely

[11/27 18: 50] Joey [Facilitator]: Agreene, have you read Jim's book - men in midlife crisis?

[11/27 18: 50] Hannah [Facilitator]: Hi Tamashii, Happy Thanksgiving

[11/27 18: 51] Suz215: Brother T: I’m still in Michigan.....don't mention the Lion's they aren't worth the roar.

[11/27 18: 51] Tamashii: Suz: Vernor's give me heartburn big time!

[11/27 18: 51] Tamashii: Hannah: Thank you!

[11/27 18: 51] AGreene: some

[11/27 18: 51] Joey [Facilitator]: Pam, no way girlie!!!! You celebrate the fact God loves you and that’s something to be thankful for!

[11/27 18: 51] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Suz - also a Branson remedy, I had some earlier (mostly because I like it, but couldn't hurt - right)

[11/27 18: 51] Joey [Facilitator]: Tam, sorry : )

[11/27 18: 52] Hannah [Facilitator]: Joey I just got my screen cleared and then it went back to earlier chat - I had to sign out to get back to the present

[11/27 18: 52] Tamashii: AGreene: That's part of developing unconditional love. You love H in spite of what he does, not because of it.

[11/27 18: 53] Suz215: Brother T: how a stiff shot of Maalox?

[11/27 18: 53] pam: Joey it is still hard after all these years to be with out h. D had to work and son had to go to his mil house, grandkids to their other parents.

[11/27 18: 53] Joey [Facilitator]: Hannah, mine is kicking me completely off and I have to sign back in.

[11/27 18: 53] Suz215: Mines acting up now......what's the deal here?

[11/27 18: 53] Aloha: All: Goodnight, I've got to work tomorrow.

[11/27 18: 54] Tamashii: AGreene: Read Hosea. It is a metaphor for how God loved Israel, in spite of her sin.

[11/27 18: 54] Joey [Facilitator]: Pam, I know I spoke to my stepmother-n-law yesterday and grandmother. hearing the voices knowing you can't be with them just yet is hard but I’m blessed they loved hearing from me.

[11/27 18: 54] Suz215: Aloha: Rest well.....God cover you with His love!

[11/27 18: 55] Tamashii: Suz: Nah, I’m fine. Just wanted a little sympathy...

[11/27 18: 56] vsingh: hello all: just saw fireproof today. It got me emotional

[11/27 18: 56] pam: Joey my mil called at 10: 00 last night and said she missed me so much she wanted me to come over but it is over 3 hours away and I have to work tomorrow so I couldn't go but she was thinking about me.

[11/27 18: 56] pam: vsingh I loved that movie

[11/27 18: 56] Suz215: You guys...we are so blest tonight!!! This chat has been incredible.....God is so awesome! Guiding our thoughts and prayers for one another...just like we used to do/be!!!!

[11/27 18: 56] Tamashii: Vsingh: Good for you! Good movie, huh?

[11/27 18: 57] Hannah [Facilitator]: Hi vsingh how are you? What did you do today?

[11/27 18: 57] Joey [Facilitator]: Pam, that is a HUGE praise, thank God for it!!!!! : )

[11/27 18: 57] vsingh: pam: hi I don't think I have chatted with you. Pam it made me depressed that h and I did not end like that

[11/27 18: 57] Joey [Facilitator]: Vsingh, it's an awesome movie.

[11/27 18: 57] pam: Joey I love my mil so much. It hurts that h and two of his sisters are trying to keep me out of their lives.

[11/27 18: 57] vsingh: hi tam and hannah: saw fireproof it is good, but is not a mlc situation, but I loved it

[11/27 18: 58] pam: Joey I love my mil so much. It hurts that h and two of his sisters are trying to keep me out of their lives.

[11/27 18: 58] Joey [Facilitator]: Vsingh, God's not done with you or your h yet, your movie hasn't ended!

[11/27 18: 58] Suz215: Brother T: if sympathy is what you want....honey, stand in line! Hahahaha!

[11/27 18: 58] AGreene: Tam, thank you, I am struggling thinking about could I ever be with him again, I don’t know that I would ever trust him or feel safe/that he wouldn’t leave, and that he would always be judging me and putting me down

[11/27 18: 58] vsingh: hi Joey: it depressed me today because I am alone, and h and ow are throwing party

[11/27 18: 58] Tamashii: vsingh: You and H haven't ended yet.

[11/27 18: 58] pam: vsingh it made me sad but I did she things that they both did that my h and I did also. It made me think.

[11/27 18: 58] vsingh: Joey: thanks

[11/27 18: 59] vsingh: tam: thanks you are sweet

[11/27 18: 59] Tamashii: Vsingh: You must try not to concentrate on circumstances.

[11/27 19: 00] vsingh: pam: what is your situation, my h started affair about 3 years ago, div almost year and he married ow

[11/27 19: 00] Tamashii: Vsingh: I’m sweet today. I ate too many cookies!

[11/27 19: 00] vsingh: tam: you are right. I still have faith in God our creator

[11/27 19: 00] vsingh: tam: ha ha, I had pumpkin pie

[11/27 19: 00] Joey [Facilitator]: Vsingh, you had the biggest guest of honor in your present that they couldn't touch - the GREAT I AM!

[11/27 19: 01] pam: vsingh my h left 6 years ago. Had 5 affairs, one of them killed herself when he broke it off. Met last one divorced me last Nov. married her in March. Haven't heard from him since.

[11/27 19: 01] vsingh: pam: my h started affair before file at age 40, we have a precious son who is now 13

[11/27 19: 02] vsingh: pam: that must be rough, do you have kids with him?

[11/27 19: 02] Suz215: Brother T: if sympathy is what you want....honey, stand in line! Hahahaha!

[11/27 19: 03] vsingh: Joey: some people saw me alone and emotional, and they talked to me and prayed with me

[11/27 19: 03] Suz215: Swan: Seems I may have spoken too soon, ya' reckon?

[11/27 19: 03] pam: vsingh we were married 31 years when he divorced me. Have an adult daughter and son. 4 grandkids. We were a very close family before

[11/27 19: 03] Joey [Facilitator]: Pam, keep your family covered in prayer my dear.

[11/27 19: 03] Hannah [Facilitator]: ok, just got bumped again. I will say goodnight and God Bless you all. Have a great BLACK FRIDAY!!

[11/27 19: 04] vsingh: pam: how long married? He had those affairs while being married to you?

[11/27 19: 04] pam: vsingh h doesn't talk to son only our daughter. so it is hard to do family things any more.

[11/27 19: 04] Joey [Facilitator]: Vsingh, God has people in place in our time of need. He had a missionary in place for me once!

[11/27 19: 04] vsingh: pam: you are in my prayers, at least your mil is good, how old is your h

[11/27 19: 04] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Suz - I reckon!

[11/27 19: 04] vsingh: pam: you are in my prayers, at least your mil is good, how old is your h

[11/27 19: 05] pam: yes all affairs after he left though. At least I think.

[11/27 19: 05] vsingh: Joey: you are right

[11/27 19: 05] pam: My h is 56. going on 2.

[11/27 19: 05] vsingh: Pam: I pray for him because he has not found the Lord

[11/27 19: 06] vsingh: pam: I understand. Mine turned into a kid also

[11/27 19: 06] vsingh: pam: It is a depression because they can't stand getting older

[11/27 19: 07] pam: Joey I pray for my family all the time. It feels like we are always under attack.

[11/27 19: 08] pam: vsingh my h is trying to dress like the young kids but he has a head of gray hair. ow had him shave his mustache that he has had since he was 19 to look younger but no one knows him now.

[11/27 19: 08] vsingh: pam: I pray for peace for your family and the restoration of it

[11/27 19: 08] pam: vsingh I pray for all of you also.

[11/27 19: 08] vsingh: pam: I pray for peace and the restoration of your family

[11/27 19: 09] vsingh: pam: It is so scary what they become

[11/27 19: 10] vsingh: pam: In one way I think if h was living with me I'd go crazy

[11/27 19: 11] vsingh: all: I was thinking how lucky Kirk Cameron's real life wife is

[11/27 19: 11] pam: vsingh I agree. I don't think I could live with him right now.

[11/27 19: 11] Suz215: Brother T: how is your family....kids doing?

[11/27 19: 12] Tamashii: Suz: All good on the family front.

[11/27 19: 12] Suz215: Greetings K: how are you?

[11/27 19: 12] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: kchabass - welcome, glad you have joined us tonight.

[11/27 19: 13] pam: keep getting kick off going to go for tonight. Love you all. bye

[11/27 19: 13] kchabass: thank you!

[11/27 19: 13] Suz215: T: Do you know how UT and A&M are doing?

[11/27 19: 13] Tamashii: Suz: ????

[11/27 19: 14] Suz215: WHATTTTTTTTT???????

[11/27 19: 14] vsingh: kchabass: are you new?

[11/27 19: 14] kchabass: yes

[11/27 19: 14] Suz215: Oops up side the head....say oops up side the head!

[11/27 19: 14] Joey [Facilitator]: Vsingh, they had rocky places in their marriage too. That was his real life wife at the end of the movie. scene were they were renewing their vows and all you seen was their backs. That was real for them.

[11/27 19: 15] vsingh: kchabass: is your souse having a mlc

[11/27 19: 16] vsingh: joey: I didn't know that, what happened to them in real life?

[11/27 19: 16] Tamashii: Oops up side the head!

[11/27 19: 17] vsingh: joey: I thought Kirk Cameron was a very strong Christian

[11/27 19: 17] Tamashii: Suz: Who are UT and A&M?

[11/27 19: 17] Suz215: Joey: that's right. He struggled with quite a bit before he turned his life and family way to God!

[11/27 19: 17] vsingh: joey: In the kissing scene was that his wife or actress, and what happened to daughter that was in beginning

[11/27 19: 18] Joey [Facilitator]: vsingh, just because both people are saved doesn't mean their lives or marriages are easy. They have every day struggles just like everyone else has.

[11/27 19: 18] Suz215: V: He had demons to conquer!

[11/27 19: 18] Suz215: TTTTTTTT: Texas college teams.....football!

[11/27 19: 18] Joey [Facilitator]: vsingh, just the renewing the vows part was all she was in. not sure about the daughter.

[11/27 19: 19] vsingh: joey: It wasn't a mlc thing though was it. You are right. I have heard of pastors going thru mlc

[11/27 19: 19] Joey [Facilitator]: Vsingh, I want that when it comes out on DVD.

[11/27 19: 19] Tamashii: Suz: OH! Texas Tech really tanked!

[11/27 19: 20] vsingh: suz: what demons, were they considering divorce?

[11/27 19: 20] Joey [Facilitator]: Vsingh, Jim Conway was a pastor when he went through MLC.

[11/27 19: 21] vsingh: joey: mlc is a time of weakness where the devil attacks

[11/27 19: 21] Tamashii: Suz: I’m a Buckeye Fan. I hope they don't get Texas in a bowl!

[11/27 19: 22] Joey [Facilitator]: Vsingh, MLC is a period of overload where you can longer suppress the emotions of hurt over long periods of time.

[11/27 19: 23] Suz215: UT: 28...A&M: 3

[11/27 19: 24] Joey [Facilitator]: Vsingh, Kirk Cameron is a very strong Christian but we all have to walk and mature in our faith. We all start out on milk and grow into the meat of the word.

[11/27 19: 24] vsingh: joey: I agree, and it seemed my h got angry because of the aging process

[11/27 19: 24] Suz215: V: read his biography. He just mentions the lifestyle of growing up in Hollywood.

[11/27 19: 25] vsingh: suz: I think he had a difficult childhood

[11/27 19: 27] Suz215: All: we have to agree that although many situations are similar...the differences can't be dwelt on in comparison. The underlying point is that in his struggles ....who did he chose to turn to......to rely on....to listen to????????

[11/27 19: 27] Joey [Facilitator]: all, going to be praying with a friend! be back shortly!

[11/27 19: 27] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Joey - even when we are chewing meat, a great big glass of milk tastes good sometimes, helps to keep our teeth sharp

[11/27 19: 27] vsingh: kchabass: how can we help you

[11/27 19: 28] Suz215: Ok...Sis!

[11/27 19: 31] Suz215: V: I haven't seen the movie yet...but, I have the book...Dare to Love. I think in hearing critiques.....we can all share the love of God in turning our thoughts and concerns to him. We can't change what has happened.....

[11/27 19: 32] vsingh: all: son just called me and said had a great time with h and ow and h's family with turkey and decorating tree, it was depressing, but also glad for him

[11/27 19: 32] Suz215: only pray and give our concerns to God who can make a change.....worrying and wondering about what-ifs....will make a person weary...increase anxiety.....increase the ground for Satan to conquer.

[11/27 19: 33] vsingh: all: I want my son to have a good time there, and I know my h wants me to know it. H and I do not talk

[11/27 19: 35] vsingh: suz: my son was saying to me that he had great time decorating tree, turkey, etc. then asked h a question. H is so dead to me it makes no sense

[11/27 19: 35] Suz215: Vsingh: You must remember the ow will NEVER have memories to share in respect to family with your son/husband....she may try to make her own.....BUT.... God can intercede.....

[11/27 19: 36] vsingh: suz: my h's father passed away on Sunday

[11/27 19: 36] vsingh: suz: we never really celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas so heavily because in India, it is not our holiday. ow would celebrate it more

[11/27 19: 37] Suz215: You had already mentioned that...I'm sorry for your loss....and the loss to your family

[11/27 19: 38] vsingh: suz: I sent h a card.

[11/27 19: 38] Suz215: Look at you and your relationship with God. Work on you....not the ow.....not your husband.....let your son talk...don't bad mouth him....just listen.

[11/27 19: 39] vsingh: suz: It just looks like he is living it up with ow. I am missing out

[11/27 19: 39] Suz215: You had mentioned that also.....just continue to pray

[11/27 19: 40] vsingh: suz: please join me in prayer that all these immoral unions break to do glory to God

[11/27 19: 40] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: vsingh - so put your trust in God and next time son starts to tell you what his dad is or isn't doing with ow, stop him and tell him that you are so happy he is having a good time and lovingly divert him from the details. Honestly you don't need to hear what is goinjg on over there and it is not loving for your son to be put in the middle as a messenger. If your husband will not stop using him that way, you shoudl do the responsible thing and not hear it.

[11/27 19: 40] Suz215: V: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....you think......it looks like....what has God told you?

[11/27 19: 42] vsingh: swan: thanks, I sometimes don't know what to say to son. It has been hard on him

[11/27 19: 43] Suz215: Vsingh: I will pray with/for you....how old is your son?

[11/27 19: 43] vsingh: swan: what really goes on with h and ow. Is it just an appearance we get?

[11/27 19: 44] vsingh: suz: he is 13

[11/27 19: 44] vsingh: suz: thanks, I pray for you too

[11/27 19: 45] Suz215: Vsingh: just letting them talk is all you need to do.....yes, it is hard for them....but, also, loving them unconditionally is comforting to them to rely on

[11/27 19: 45] Suz215: 13 is a hard age to devour in the best of situations

[11/27 19: 45] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: vsingh - I have found that the more time I spend with the Lord in prayer and His Word, He gives me the words I need whenever talking to my children or family and friends who do not understand my stand for my marriage.

[11/27 19: 46] vsingh: suz: yes, and he loves us both very much

[11/27 19: 47] vsingh: all: ow had h's family there, and I had difficulty with h's family, but I don't see how they would like her

[11/27 19: 48] Jo [Facilitator]: Swanlake - Dinner started later than was planned. Just got home.

[11/27 19: 48] Suz215: V: Although this is a family situation...it really is between you and your husband.....as Swanlake mentioned @ 19: 40.......keep him out of the middle of your situation. Calmly!

[11/27 19: 48] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: vsingh - it really doesn't matter what is really going on with your husband and the other woman, sometimes God protects us from things we don't need to know about.

[11/27 19: 48] Suz215: V: Although this is a family situation...it really is between you and your husband.....as Swanlake mentioned @ 19: 40.......keep him out of the middle of your situation. Calmly!

[11/27 19: 49] Jo [Facilitator]: Swanlake - Have you been busy tonight?

[11/27 19: 49] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Hello Kellie and Jo, glad you could join us

[11/27 19: 50] vsingh: swan and suz: yes, I won't let appearances fool me

[11/27 19: 50] Kellie: kind of late, new to this

[11/27 19: 50] Suz215: V: It doesn't make any difference how you interacted...these people...OW....can redecorate a hornet's nest without getting stung initially

[11/27 19: 51] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Jo - attendance has been good tonight, so many wonderful people have come to spend time with us here.

[11/27 19: 51] vsingh: suz: is your h with an ow?

[11/27 19: 52] vsingh: Kellie: can we help you? Is your spouse in mlc?

[11/27 19: 53] Kellie: swanlake- how do I convince my h that what we had wasn't fake, that we did love each other once and can love each other again?

[11/27 19: 53] Suz215: They are truly mistresses of deceit....in many fashions...unless you enjoy having your heart squeezed continually....quit peeking in to the circumstances of what is going on...that you think is going on!

[11/27 19: 54] Suz215: Vsingh: sure....aren't most sooner or later?

[11/27 19: 55] vsingh: suz: I guess they need to get their fill of the ow

[11/27 19: 55] Suz215: Vsingh: To answer the next question you're going to ask...is my husband happy???? NOPE!!!!!

[11/27 19: 56] vsingh: Kellie: how long have you been married?

[11/27 19: 56] Kellie: 14 y

[11/27 19: 56] Suz215: V: I'll toast with a V8 on that one!!!!!

[11/27 19: 56] vsingh: suz: my h always shows to me he is happy, but it could be show. How long your h with ow? Are they married?

[11/27 19: 57] vsingh: Kellie: I am sorry. My h left me after 14 years also at the age of 40

[11/27 19: 57] Suz215: V: Be ready for your suddenly....by working on you! Being with God......He doesn't need any help....I've asked....I've tried!

[11/27 19: 58] vsingh: Kellie: don't take it personal. it is something they have to go through. it is a depression

[11/27 19: 58] Jo [Facilitator]: Swanlake - Looks like you are a trooper, you've lasted all this time. Wow! Sorry I could not get here sooner.

[11/27 19: 58] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Kellie - MLCer's need to justify their actions, sins and guilt, typically they do so by denying their relationship with you, it is one of the ways they throw the blame off of themselves. Have you read Jim's book - Men in Midlife, it has a lot of answers of why they do what they do and Sally Conway had a wonderful book - Your Husband's Midlife Crisis, which helps with things we can do to help them.

[11/27 19: 58] vsingh: Kellie: did he have a difficult childhood

[11/27 19: 59] Kellie: this is so new, he left a week ago, I just want to know what to do or say to get him back, we have 3 young children

[11/27 19: 59] Suz215: V: OK....I'm not toasting yet.......you're getting warmer......my husband has been off/on with ow for 4 years.........ABSOLUTELY NOT MARRIED....

[11/27 19: 59] Kellie: yes he was molested by coach and abused by father

[11/27 20: 00] vsingh: suz: mine is married, but that may make it crash faster because they have joint finances now

[11/27 20: 00] Kellie: yes I am reading the book, I will look for Sally's book tomorrow

[11/27 20: 00] Suz215: Love and blessings my dear friends......God,

[11/27 20: 00] vsingh: Kellie: how old is he? mlc often has to deal with unresolved childhood issues

[11/27 20: 01] vsingh: Kellie: hang in there, we are here to support you

[11/27 20: 01] Kellie: 38 today

[11/27 20: 02] Suz215: please cover these dear friends with Your love...give them hope where there is none......they'll see Your way...be patient with them!

[11/27 20: 02] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Kellie - your best place to find Sally's book is at amazon.com, the book is out of print but there are often used copies available.

[11/27 20: 02] Kellie: 38 today

[11/27 20: 02] Suz215: TTFN!

[11/27 20: 02] vsingh: Kellie that is the age, it usually but not always starts late 30's early 40's

[11/27 20: 03] vsingh: Kellie: come to chat more often

[11/27 20: 03] vsingh: good night all

[11/27 20: 03] Kellie: I will come back, thanks!

[11/27 20: 05] Jo [Facilitator]: Kellie - A book many of us have read, which helps with what our response should be to our spouse is LOVE LIFE FOR EVERY MARRIED COUPLE by Ed Wheat. Chapter 15 is "How To Save Your Marriage Alone." Ch 10 is about Agape (love). I learned so much from those 2 chapters and also 14 and 16. It was $9.95 from Evangel Christian book store.

[11/27 20: 07] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Lord, I pray Your love and protection over us, for Your guidance that we never become so blinded by what we don't have to recognize the things we do have and give thanks to You. Praise be to the God who never leaves or forsakes us. Amen

[11/27 20: 08] Jo [Facilitator]: Amen

[11/27 20: 08] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Goodnight all, see you tomorrow evening.

[11/27 20: 09] Jo [Facilitator]: Good night Swanlake

[11/27 15: 58] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: Blessing and Happy Thanksgiving to all, welcome to this special chat night.

[11/27 15: 58] Swanlakejgs [Facilitator]: 1 Thessalonians 5: 15-18 - See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people. Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

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Chat Room Acronyms

Guests often use acronyms to speed up their conversations. Here are a few examples for you:

I have been S from my H for 2 years. We have 3 children, S8, S13, and D16.
I have been Separated from my Husband for 2 years. We have 3 children, Son age 8, Son age 13, Daughter age 16.
  OW = Other Woman   AW  = Adulteress Woman   W  = Wife   OP = other person
  OM  = Other Man   AM  = Adulteress Man   H  = Husband   LBS = Left behind spouse
  D = divorce or daughter   S = son or sister or separated   XW  = ex-wife   GF = Girl Friend
  DIL = daughter-in-law   SIL = Sister-in-law or Son-in-law   XH  = ex-husband   BF = Boy Friend
  MIL = mother-in-law   MLC = Midlife Crisis   PG = Praise God   CS = Child Support
  FIL = father-in-law   MLD = Midlife Dimensions Ministry   PTL = Praise the Lord   ED = Erectile Dysfunction
  w/ = with   w/e = weekend   b/c = because   
  w/o = without   BRB / be right back   LOL / laughing out loud