Midlife Dimensions

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Christmas Eve / Special Session - 12/24/11

7:47 PM

buttons

brin - he went to bed without even a good night, then I was frustrated and he said what, I'm not on my cell phone or the computer but you're still upset... I could have had all the presents wrapped yesterday but thought he'd like to see the kids ones so left them now I am left with more wrapping to do and I'm tired and frustrated too...  thanks brin, I can't believe it and then he tried to pass it off as something else.. I  know what I saw

7:50 PM

brin

buttons :47, Did you explain why you felt frustrated? Next time he makes the hand heart or do something romantic, don't say anything to him. Otherwise, he may be embarrassed and not do it again for fear of feeling ridiculed or teased. Men do not handle teasing well. It may have taken him courage to do the hand heart.

 

 

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December 24, 2011 / 6-8 pm PST / Christmas Eve Special

6:10 PM

Bluesky

Hi Swan, I made it, thanks

6:11 PM

Swan

Hello Blue, how are you this evening?

6:11 PM

Bluesky

Good, are you with the fam?

6:12 PM

Swan

I am, we just got back from my brother in laws family, and it was fun, glad to be back here though.

6:15 PM

Bluesky

Swan Oh good; don't feel you have to stay. I am at friend’s house so I am talking while chatting.

6:17 PM

Swan

I will keep an eye on it from time to time; maybe no one else is coming in although several asked.

6:18 PM

Bluesky

Swan I know. I thought I was going to be full or at least a few.

6:21 PM

Swan

Bluesky - Last year we had more people here, maybe they will be in a little later.

6:23 PM

Bluesky

Swan well I am just hangin.

6:29 PM

Swan

Hello dumbfounded2 - how are you tonight?

6:29 PM

Bluesky

Hi dumbfounded2, Merry Christmas, how are you?

6:29 PM

dumbfounded2

Swan - Doing well.  Just finished a round of the Wii game "Wheel of Fortune" with my sons, 11 and 20.  I had to show them how it is played. HAHA!

6:30 PM

Bluesky

dumbfounded2 how fun.

6:31 PM

Swan

dumbfounded2 - So is there an electronic Vanna??  LOL

6:32 PM

dumbfounded2

to all - Have a question.  How do I support and encourage my H to seek his true heart or purpose without having a "feelings" discussion? I seem to understand what he is experiencing better than he does.  Even though he has been out of home for 11 months, he has recently begun connecting with us  more and talking a bit about it, even pointing out that "he and I barely understand all this", much less other family members (this came when I invited him to Christmas dinner w/both families)  He felt he shouldn’t come.

6:32 PM

Bluesky

Swan many many years ago my h was on that show.

6:33 PM

dumbfounded2

Swan - Yes - there is an electronic Vanna and she is quiet the girl (at least when I am winning)!  I have always wanted to be on that show, but I am sure I wouldn’t win like I do at home.

6:35 PM

Swan

Bluesky - I have never been on any of those shows, I used to take tour groups to a few of them, mostly the Price is Right, had some of the members of my group get on and win, but just didn't get on myself.  It is fun to be in the audience.

6:39 PM

Bluesky

dumbfounded2 I think you are doing everything you can, I have followed your story recently and you have a great handle on it. I would do active listening as much as you can. And lots and lots of praising him or building him up. I think it is praise that he knows something is wrong.

6:41 PM

Bluesky

Swan I bet you would be awesome. When my h was on he was about 20, and it was still when they had prizes to choose from. He was on for 3 days but never go the bonus round. Our wedding bands are from that show from Tiffany’s or Gucci.

6:43 PM

Swan

dumbfounded2 - unfortunately one of the most common complaints of the MLCer is that their spouse was too controlling, so when we explain to them how we understand or know what they should be doing.  One of the things that they MLCer seems to really really despise is being told what they are feeling and they want to hear what we are feeling even less. 

6:43 PM

dumbfounded2

bluesky Thank you for the compliment.  I think today I am 2nd guessing because I am handling Christmas alone.  We have made major progress in the past 2 weeks and I am sure he is overwhelmed and I am just excited about it.  I have to pull back a bit and slow down.  I waffle between anger and sadness on holidays as Christmas has always been my favorite.  The boys are OK, but the oldest has a simmering anger about his dad, but since they have seen each other, I have a sense of peace about things...I just need a good nite sleep and presents in the morning!  I did invite him to join us for a casual day of board games and snack foods (nothing formal)...I just left the invite open...all I know to do.  His mom keeps calling him to leave messages to have him see boys, but I think this just makes him feel guilt.

6:45 PM

Swan

Hello wiffe - how are you tonight?

6:46 PM

dumbfounded2

Swan Thanks, I learned that lesson months ago.  The only way he knows I am even interested in what is happening is that he saw "Men in Midlife" on my bedside table.  He has since gotten the book and read it and said it seemed written for him.  He also picked up my copy of Jed Diamond's "Irritable Male Syndrome" book (didn’t mean for him to see it) and said jokingly that "He did suffer from that XXXX!  Then he laughed and asked me if I had read the whole book?  He wasn’t angry, just kind of poking fun at himself.

6:47 PM

Bluesky

dumbfounded2 awesome job. And yes, the season brings all of this to a head. I found myself feeling lonely the other night when I saw my h's handwriting on presents to my d. Handling Christmas alone is tough but we have to be there for our kids and it sounds like you are doing a great job. You wouldn't be human if you didn't have all of those mixed up feelings.

6:47 PM

Swan

Bluesky - I was usually told in advance what they were looking for when they interview, and I also usually had at least one member in uniform in the group and they always called them up on stage.

6:48 PM

Bluesky

dumbfounded2 that’s good he took it all positively. Usually we can't tell them what we know or what to read.

6:51 PM

dumbfounded2

bluesky I have always been a "book work" and have if we had a problem with anything...I am the first to research how to "fix" it (mostly household repairs, never had a Husband/wife repair issue until this) so he isn’t surprised I am reading, but I have not mentioned one word of my findings, I have only used it to keep my "head on straight and stay above the turmoil".  Gosh, I would probably have just said "forget it" if I hadn’t read Mr. Conway's book and found this site.

6:52 PM

Bluesky

dumbfounded2 you are by far ahead of the game. Keep up the good work. Your kids are benefitting greatly from your example and stance.

6:52 PM

Swan

dumbfounded2 - That one works a couple ways, some absorb what they read and try to make the changes, others read the books we are reading more to see what we are researching, some use the books to justify why they make the choices and do the things they do. 

6:52 PM

Bluesky

Swan I guess wiffe is having issues getting in.

6:53 PM

dumbfounded2

to all   I am sometimes surprised at how unbelievable it is to step back and look at this MLC stuff from a "detached" view...I mean really how mad can one man be because his wife keeps a calendar with all the kids activities on it and it seemed to always be full.

6:56 PM

dumbfounded2

Swan  thanks.  I am sure my H is reading for content...He wouldn’t pick the book up... Just so happens, my son just did a reading fair project on "Heaven is for Real"  by Todd Burpo...Everyone should read this one..  When H asked about his project, he asked if he could read the book...H told me he was late to work the other day for the first time in his career because he stayed awake to 1 thirty am reading this book.  He also said he only cried toward the end...This was a MAJOR step for H.

6:56 PM

Bluesky

dumbfounded2 they have to find something to be mad at. That isn't really the issue. My h said he wanted to leave because I didn't handle a move to a new state that had been 13 years prior. Oh, and that he didn't like my R with my daughter, yet, he left me with the girl. Doesn't make sense.

6:57 PM

Bluesky

dumbfounded2 great praises you are hearing. He is searching for something, isn't he?

6:57 PM

Swan

dumbfounded2 - what was his mother like when he was a kid, did she have him signed up for every sport and activity, constantly on the go, scouts, soccer, baseball, etc.  I have met some who as adults say they really didn't want to have to do all that stuff but felt like they didn't have any choice and later resented the parent who signed them up for all of it. 

6:58 PM

dumbfounded2

Bluesky  You are right, but at the time it is hard to see that it isn’t something we have done or need to do..That is the first thing I did, second guess everything I had contributed (good and bad) in our relationship...We are just so stunned and in shock I guess.  Yes, I think God is working on H and H is working with him...sometimes!

7:00 PM

Bluesky

dumbfounded2 absolutely, we all do that, how can you not. But these things certainly aren't worth destroying your marriage over. Nothing is really. So don't be hard on yourself. I still do it at times but it lasts minutes now instead of all the time.

7:00 PM

dumbfounded2

Swan   H has loving Christian parents....Dad was main caregiver (laundry, activates, church).  Mom spent a LOT of time with her mom..even having her live with them when H was a teen  until she died this past year...Seemed loving, but not really healthy for family dynamics..I think H resented it some, though he has never said...H does not like spending time with mom as he feels she is always looking for something he could do better, though she is not critical in a mean way, but he reads a lot into her conversation...

7:01 PM

Swan

Hello brin - welcome

7:01 PM

brin

Hi Swan, Bluesky, dumbfounded2

7:02 PM

brin

All, How was your Christmas Eve?

7:02 PM

dumbfounded2

brin  - good so far...Getting tired and ready to rest before all the cooking and eating begins again tomorrow!

7:02 PM

Bluesky

brin Merry Christmas to you. I hope you are feeling better, you are still in my prayers as I know those headaches.

7:03 PM

Bluesky

all, I need to go now for dinner at friends. Have a blessed day tomorrow.

7:03 PM

dumbfounded2

Bluesky  Have a great day tomorrow!

7:04 PM

Bluesky

dumbfounded2 you too. Hang in there.

7:05 PM

Swan

dumbfounded2 - most "soccer mom's" are loving and believe they are doing what is best for their children, but sometimes there just isn't time left for that the children want to do when mom or dad is scheduling events.  My son has a friend who now says he hates his mom because she planned his whole life while he was a kid and now she is critical of what he does.  As a mom, sometimes we are darned if we do and darned if we don't.

7:05 PM

brin

dumbfounded2 :03, Sounds like a lot of cooking tomorrow. I was reading what you posted before I joined. Which book was your H reading until after midnight? Jim Conway's book or Heaven is real?

7:06 PM

dumbfounded2

brin  "Heaven if for Real"  - He read Conway's book (or parts of it at least) a couple of months ago (September, I think).  Have you read Heaven is for Real?

7:08 PM

brin

dumbfounded2 :07, No I haven't. It sounds interesting. What is it about?

7:10 PM

brin

dumbfounded2 : I found a few different versions of Heaven is for real on Amazon. Which version is the one you're referring to?

7:11 PM

dumbfounded2

Swan   - H's mom was not a soccer mom.  In fact, H mentions that she was never at his games, etc...although she claims she was.  I tend to believe H as she seemed to be under her mom's control most of the times when I came on the scene 25 years ago.  H was just starting college and grandma was living with them...she ran household, cooked, laundry while H's mom and dad worked.  I think this is why he resented that living arrangement...Mom was too preoccupied.  H also had brother 2 years older that had to marry young at 17 (pregnant girlfriend- they are still married).  They married and had 2 more children...Sadly, the oldest died 8 years ago in a car accident).  My H has always felt less important since that time (teen years) than his brother's problems and/or issues.

7:11 PM

brin

dumbfounded2 : Is it the one about a kid's trip to heaven and back by Todd Burpo?

7:12 PM

dumbfounded2

brin -  I have only read the book...It is written by the father of a young boy who experienced "things only a believer would know" while he was desperately ill.  He began his explanations of how God works when he recovered from his illness...truly an uplifting book and father tells just as a four year old sees it.

7:13 PM

dumbfounded2

brin   Yes  that is the book...  Son won 1st place in school's reading fair competition and we will go to the district competition in January!

7:13 PM

brin

dumbfounded2 :13, How cool is that! You must be so proud of your son and excited about the competition in January.

7:16 PM

brin

Swan, Any plans for tomorrow? I am just going to take it easy tomorrow. Wake up when I want to, work out and cook and tidy up the house.

7:16 PM

dumbfounded2

brin  I am proud, but to tell you the truth..  I have been to so many of these "reading fair" things..Remember I have a 20 year old son too.   Over the past 10 years, it has become "which parent can do the best work" competition!  Not as exciting, as I require my children to do their own boards..I do help with ideas!  They usually get knocked out by "Super Mom's" board at the state level.  So Sad!

7:17 PM

Swan

brin - I am at my sister's, so whatever she has planned.  We'll open gifts in the morning, then have dinner and whatever else they normally do.

7:17 PM

brin

dumbfounded2 :16, That's cheating! I wish parents didn't help their kids so much. It spoils it for their kids. They should learn by doing it themselves.

7:18 PM

brin

Swan :17, How nice to spend time with your family.

7:18 PM

Swan

Hey all Santa is in Barbados right now, headed for Grenada next!!  I am tracking him on Norad for my niece.

7:19 PM

dumbfounded2

brin   Yes ma'am.  I talk to my son honestly about the work and the youngest is now at the age, he can spot "a cheater" quickly.  Kind of makes him mad and I don't try to help him understand.  Lord, I don’t understand it.  So we just are "MAD" together.

7:19 PM

brin

All, Know what? When someone tries to set you up with another, you know Satan is at work. A co-worker tried to set me up with someone the other day. Told them they need to look somewhere else.

7:20 PM

brin

Swan :18, Huh? How is he getting there? In a sled with reindeers?

7:22 PM

dumbfounded2

brin   Co worker probably wants you to be happy.  People really have a hard time understanding patience and "lovingly detaching" concept.  My sister thinks I have lost my mind also and am being "run over".

7:22 PM

Swan

brin - Yes, with Rudolph leading the way!!  For anyone with kids, grandkids, etc. go to http://www.noradsanta.org/en/ and you can track Santa.  some locations have a video they can watch and yes you see the reindeer, the sleigh, Santa and even Rudolph.

7:22 PM

brin

Swan :22, Nice, with Rudolph even!

7:23 PM

brin

dumbfounded2 :22, Yes, and it comes just when I thought God was confirming my stand. Yes, others have a hard time understanding. They think that when you are divorced, you should think of dating.

7:25 PM

Swan

Hello buttons, how are you tonight?

7:25 PM

brin

Hi buttons, How are you?

7:25 PM

dumbfounded2

brin   Hang in.  You are the only one that will know what is right for you.  I sometimes think of what I would want if I wasn’t married and for the life of me...the idea of trying to find someone else to fit into my children's and my world is the last thing I want to tackle.  A piece of paper doesn't mean a thing to a person's heart!

7:26 PM

brin

Swan :24, So it's a computer Santa. The kids really believe it? AN interesting idea.

7:27 PM

Swan

brin - I guess it depends on the age, my grandson loves it, my niece is having fun with it, and it is fun.  It is mostly a map with packages where Santa has been and a Santa icon to show where he is now.  The videos are animated, but still fun.

7:27 PM

brin

dumbfounded2 :26, I know. I cannot imagine being with someone else at all.

7:27 PM

dumbfounded2

to All  -  I am going to bed now!  Santa will be here early.  My boys will want to open presents before daylight as usual and I don’t rise as quickly as I used to...I also need a minute to wash my face and find my glasses! HAHA

7:27 PM

brin

Swan :27, I can see why. Since they make it look like a news event.

7:27 PM

buttons

brin swan doing alright... H has gone to bed (did paper with me and then worked so tired, yes but not even a good night)... S is at GF's and D is at BF's family's home for a while.. so finishing up traditional Christmas pj present for the kids and then guess will have a bubble bath and watch a movie... ever seen Miracle of the Heart? so moving

7:28 PM

brin

dumbfounded2 : Good night. And Merry Christmas!

7:28 PM

buttons

brin dumbfounded2 my bother gave me a whole speech about being open to whatever happens and open to possibly someone else, he doesn't get it

7:28 PM

brin

buttons :28, A bubble sounds great. No, have not see Miracle of the Heart. Is it a good movie?

7:29 PM

brin

buttons :29, Yeah. I don't think anyone gets it, except for standers.

7:30 PM

brin

buttons - Do you have to do papers tomorrow too?

7:31 PM

Swan

brin - I just think it is cool that NORAD does it, but then maybe that says something about the amount of time they have on their hands right now!!

7:32 PM

brin

Swan :31, Who is NORAD? What do they do, besides tracking Santa's journey?

7:32 PM

brin

Hello MAS, How are you?

7:32 PM

buttons

brin a bubble would be super but not realistic ah well... NO papers tomorrow... our normal day off so that stinks (ah well)

7:33 PM

Swan

brin - NORAD "North American Aerospace Defense" is a military organization headquartered in Colorado Springs, and is responsible for the aerospace and maritime defense of the United States and Canada. It provides advanced warning of impending missile and air attacks against its member nations, safeguards the air sovereignty of North America, and maintains airborne forces for defense against attack.

7:33 PM

brin

buttons :33, I am not much of a bubble bath person. I should do it. I just find it hard to sit in a bath for long as I feel "trapped" in it.

7:33 PM

buttons

brin Miracle of the Heart is a really moving movie.. it follows on from The Christmas Shoes, the boy is grown up and things happen...  I love the Shoes book but not the Heart one, like the movie better of it

7:35 PM

buttons

brin I love bubble baths I take a magazine in and it really helps warm you through and relax the muscles... my favorite part though is having the water drain out while lying in it, you can feel all the stress and such being pulled out with it

7:35 PM

buttons

Hi Mas how are you doing?

7:35 PM

brin

Swan :33, Oh I see. I learned something new today. That is neat and makes sense for the 2 to cooperate in defending themselves

7:36 PM

Swan

brin -  My husband used to work with NORAD when he was still on active duty that is how we first learned about the Santa tracking when our kids were younger.

7:36 PM

mas

brin Hi, how are you?

7:36 PM

brin

buttons :35, Interesting way of putting it - pulling out the stress with the water draining.

7:37 PM

brin

Swan :36, Wow, so the tracking has been around for a long time. I thought it was something new.

7:37 PM

mas

buttons Hi. Just thought I'd drop in for a few minutes.

7:37 PM

buttons

brin it's funny because I was saying it to a customer at the store and she loves the laying in it while it drains too... wonderful feeling...

7:38 PM

brin

mas :36, I am feeling better day by day. Thanks for praying. I did my first workout today after about 4 months of inactivity. I just have bones now, little muscle.

7:38 PM

Swan

brin - Since my kids were pre-teen, they are now in their early 30's.

7:38 PM

buttons

brin I also take a glass of something bubbly in or even water in a wine glass... I don't drink but I try to make it a special event because I don't often get to have one, not as often as my body would like

7:38 PM

brin

buttons :38, I just might try it sometime...

7:39 PM

mas

brin Hope you can gain some muscle back.

7:39 PM

mas

brin Glad you are feeling better, though.

7:39 PM

brin

mas :39, Thanks. I will need quite a bit for my mountain trip.

7:39 PM

buttons

brin it's something that can help if your frame of mind is focused on making it special, it's not everyone's cup of tea

7:40 PM

buttons

brin mountain trip?

7:40 PM

mas

brin When and where are you going?

7:40 PM

brin

buttons :39, Yes, a nice drink might help. Know what? I have been trying to be nice to myself lately. I have been making myself tea every day.

7:40 PM

buttons

swan my kids and I watched the Santa tracking from the time they were young too, they are early/mid 20s now... fun to do, I didn't put up the whole video stuff though

7:41 PM

brin

buttons mas Africa. Don't want to give too many details in chat.

7:41 PM

buttons

brin Ah tea is a good thing too! Peppermint is my favorite, apple cinnamon was for a while, discovered Dark Chocolate Chai but it's not an everyday tea

7:41 PM

brin

mas buttons : in Feb

7:42 PM

mas

brin Ooooh! Africa! How exciting!

7:42 PM

mas

brin You'll have to tell us more through ESG.

7:42 PM

buttons

brin that sounds exciting! one of the other paper carriers if from South Africa (I believe) he's talked about taking H and I with him when he goes back to visit in a few years--- yeah right-- money from where and H if he's still in limbo... ah well, I can dream!  I'm sure it will be fabulous though!

7:42 PM

brin

buttons :41, I have tried chai and liked it. I like rooibos - it's herbal, from Africa, has a citrus taste and has lots of anti-oxidants. It also relaxes and is good for sleep.

7:43 PM

buttons

swan what are you plans for tomorrow (?)

7:43 PM

brin

mas :43, Yeah, will email and tell you more.

7:43 PM

Swan

buttons - spending it with my brother, sister and her family.  I am at her house for the weekend, will head back home Tuesday

7:44 PM

mas

brin That will be great! :)

7:44 PM

buttons

brin rooibos is good too, I've had a few blends with it in it... tasty... a friend found a tea shop on the mainland and she bought all she could for herself (a tea collector... hehehe) and then she bought some for me when she had no excuse to get it for herself.... tasty but many aren't something I'd drink regular like

7:44 PM

brin

buttons :43, maybe someday you and H can make it. It could be a goal.

7:44 PM

buttons

swan that sounds fabulous, glad you are able to spend it with family...

7:45 PM

buttons

brin right now it's a goal to even feel like we are fully connecting, I am quite sure I saw him making a hand heart in front of the computer tonight so...

7:45 PM

brin

buttons :44, I tried a blend with rooibos and didn't like it. I like it plain.

7:46 PM

brin

buttons :45, A hand heart? How sweet! Hang in there.

7:47 PM

buttons

brin he went to bed without even a good night, then I was frustrated and he said what, I'm not on my cell phone or the computer but you're still upset... I could have had all the presents wrapped yesterday but thought he'd like to see the kids ones so left them now I am left with more wrapping to do and I'm tired and frustrated too...  thanks brin, I can't believe it and then he tried to pass it off as something else.. I  know what I saw

7:47 PM

Swan

brin - here in St. Louis there is a store Teavia and I have gotten some awesome teas from there, I do have one roobios that is really good, but it is plain not blended with anything else.  I like the red teas myself.

7:47 PM

buttons

brin I will tell you what the blend was that I tried, it was pretty good.... there's also one that's a green something and it helps with weight control apparently, I haven't drunk it enough to find out if it really works

7:49 PM

buttons

swan I tried a red tea and whatever the blend was I did not like, ended up being bitter... there's a place called Steeps here on the West Coast of Canada and a few other places but that's one that's getting known anyway. Many independent tea place popping up which is nice to see, maybe a few will become like the popular coffee shops!

7:50 PM

buttons

mas what are your plans for tomorrow?

7:50 PM

brin

buttons :47, Did you explain why you felt frustrated? Next time he makes the hand heart or do something romantic, don't say anything to him. Otherwise, he may be embarrassed and not do it again for fear of feeling ridiculed or teased. Men do not handle teasing well. It may have taken him courage to do the hand heart.

7:50 PM

buttons

brin he didn't do it to me!!!

7:51 PM

brin

Swan : 48, OK, thanks for sharing. I will look out for a Teavia here or something similar. I got mine a long while ago from a friend and I am about to run out.

7:51 PM

Swan

buttons - when I get sick, I love to brew a pot of sassafras tea and sip it, no sweetener needed at all (at least not for me), it always soothes my throat.

7:51 PM

mas

buttons I'm supposed to be going to my mother's for dinner, but haven't been feeling very well. If I'm still sick tomorrow,  I know that she would prefer that I stay home. So, I'm hoping that I'm fully recovered by then.

7:51 PM

buttons

brin that's why he also commented on how at least he's not on the computer or his cell phone, he knows it upsets me that he's on them because I am pretty sure he's talking to someone else and often I see him smiling and such, it hurts!

7:52 PM

brin

buttons :50, OK, I misunderstood. But you did see it and asked him about it?

7:52 PM

buttons

mas I hope you are too!!! not fun being sick and home over Christmas

7:52 PM

buttons

brin I saw it and made a comment and he tried to pass it off as something else

7:52 PM

mas

buttons No...Not fun at all!

7:53 PM

Swan

brin - sorry I got the name wrong it is teavana, here is the website for them: http://www.teavana.com/  Just watch out, they sell it by the ounce and some are expensive, especially the rare teas.

7:53 PM

mas

buttons Who was the hand heart for?

7:53 PM

brin

mas :52, What's wrong? Do you have a cold? Hope you can go to your mom's

7:53 PM

buttons

swan I've heard sassafras is good for things like that... I don't put anything in my tea and don't even drink it too strong, as my mom used to call it when she made it, its angel tea-- a light kiss. Mine is stronger now but still...

7:53 PM

brin

Swan :53, Oh good. I think we have one here. I'll look it up.

7:54 PM

mas

brin Yes, I've been fighting  cold for the past few days...First one in 3 years!

7:54 PM

Swan

buttons - I don't like anything in my tea either, not even when I drink it iced.

7:54 PM

brin

buttons swan : I don't put any sugar or milk or cream in my tea either. I learned to drink tea plain many years ago.

7:55 PM

buttons

mas if I knew that at least I'd know what I was dealing with... he had said he was going to be talking to the "girl" at the store as it's Christmas there and she's staying open 24 hours (with family helping her with shifts-- sister and cousin or something)....

7:55 PM

brin

mas :54, No fun having a cold. I hope you feel well enough tomorrow to go out.

7:56 PM

mas

buttons Hmm...what do you think THAT means? Do you suspect something is going on?

7:56 PM

buttons

brin swan I have never had anything in my tea, never drank coffee, even our famous Munchies coffee which my mom always bought and smelled SO good but never had a taste for it... now I drink those premade ones by Nestle or Nescafe, the French vanilla and such

7:56 PM

mas

brin Thank you! Me too!

7:56 PM

mas

buttons Are you talking about the store overseas?

7:56 PM

brin

buttons :56, I'm not a coffee drinker either. Too bitter for me. To drink it, I'd need a lot of sugar...

7:56 PM

buttons

mas I have never really thought there wasn't something going on, I just know that it's not here, it's internet and overseas connection... frustrates me

7:57 PM

buttons

mas yes...

7:57 PM

mas

buttons I'm sorry. (((HUGS)))

7:57 PM

buttons

brin me too and I figured it made no sense to drink good coffee that way so didn't drink it... now just those ones that come already loaded with creamer and such :) but not always... hot chocolate though, yum

7:57 PM

brin

buttons :57, That doesn't sound good. What's with these men? I feel upset hearing about all the infidelity going on.

7:58 PM

mas

All Gosh...Am I the only coffee drinker here??

7:58 PM

brin

mas :58, he he he

7:59 PM

buttons

brin thanks... it just bugs me because he says there's nothing going on but there are signs, to me, that there is... I mean who needs the webcam on to talk to the person running your store? Really? Volume too? Headphones? give me a break what does he think I am?

7:59 PM

mas

brin @58 Yes, it really is upsetting, isn't it?

7:59 PM

Swan

All - chat is going to end soon, please start to wrap up your comments and questions.  Join us again tomorrow evening for another special chat from 5 - 8 pm PST.

7:59 PM

brin

buttons :59, That's weird. And I thought you and H were starting to get along better.

8:00 PM

buttons

brin someone decided that I needed to try coffee once, when I was in my teens, started pouring it against my mouth... it was camp coffee... tasted like someone had taken the coals from the campfire and put them in hot water

8:00 PM

brin

buttons :00, he he he

8:00 PM

buttons

brin I know but I truly don't know where things are going either... we are getting along better but then he has these moments, or this other thing happening... cake and eat it too? I don't know

8:01 PM

buttons

brin in his blow up the other day he said our marriage was over two years ago... found out he told his friend we are not being intimate so... who knows what's in his brain

8:01 PM

brin

mas :59, Yep. My H stopped by last weekend to pick up step kid. He stood at the door and made comments about this and that. Then he told me take care (twice) to which I didn't respond. because I didn't know what to say. Somehow Merry Christmas didn't come out of my mouth.

8:02 PM

buttons

brin yeah, it took me a ton of orange slices to even start to clear the taste... yuck.. so camp coffee is better than really good coffee? uh, guess he didn't hear me too well...

8:02 PM

brin

buttons :01, He sounds confused. I hope he's not cake-eating.

8:02 PM

buttons

ALL Merry Christmas

8:02 PM

brin

Merry Christmas all.

8:02 PM

mas

buttons As I had said to slo earlier, they often want the best of both worlds if they can have it.

8:02 PM

brin

I hope you all have a wonderful day tomorrow, celebrating the real reason for Christmas.

8:02 PM

buttons

brin he is confused and he's only cake-eating in that he may have a dream of a life elsewhere and this computer person, whom he's seen twice now in the last two years

8:03 PM

buttons

mas that's true

8:04 PM

buttons

ALL take care and know that God really does want us to be our best and is watching over us... thanks for listening and have a great day tomorrow... I am off to finish sewing, watch the rest of the movie and have a bubble bath

8:04 PM

brin

buttons :03, If he's lusting (mentally or emotionally), it's still sin

8:04 PM

mas

buttons Sad....but true.

8:04 PM

buttons

brin I know, I really do know

8:04 PM

mas

Merry Christmas everyone.

8:05 PM

brin

Goodnight all. I am ready for bed too. :)

8:05 PM

buttons

swan so where's Santa now?

8:05 PM

buttons

do I still have time?

8:05 PM

buttons

Night brin thanks for listening

8:05 PM

Swan

buttons - Atlanta, GA

8:05 PM

brin

So he's coming our way soon.

8:05 PM

buttons

ah, so I do then... hehehe.. he won't catch me in the bath :)

8:05 PM

Swan

Goodnight all, see you tomorrow.

8:05 PM

brin

bye

8:05 PM

buttons

he's on the right continent

8:06 PM

buttons

Night all take care

8:06 PM

mas

Goodnight all!

8:06 PM

brin

see you tomorrow evening

7:47 PM

buttons

brin - he went to bed without even a good night, then I was frustrated and he said what, I'm not on my cell phone or the computer but you're still upset... I could have had all the presents wrapped yesterday but thought he'd like to see the kids ones so left them now I am left with more wrapping to do and I'm tired and frustrated too...  thanks brin, I can't believe it and then he tried to pass it off as something else.. I  know what I saw

7:50 PM

brin

buttons :47, Did you explain why you felt frustrated? Next time he makes the hand heart or do something romantic, don't say anything to him. Otherwise, he may be embarrassed and not do it again for fear of feeling ridiculed or teased. Men do not handle teasing well. It may have taken him courage to do the hand heart.

 

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Chat Room Acronyms

Guests often use acronyms to speed up their conversations. Here are a few examples for you:

I have been S from my H for 2 years. We have 3 children, S8, S13, and D16.
I have been Separated from my Husband for 2 years. We have 3 children, Son age 8, Son age 13, Daughter age 16.
  OW = Other Woman   AW  = Adulteress Woman   W  = Wife   OP = other person
  OM  = Other Man   AM  = Adulteress Man   H  = Husband   LBS = Left behind spouse
  D = divorce or daughter   S = son or sister or separated   XW  = ex-wife   GF = Girl Friend
  DIL = daughter-in-law   SIL = Sister-in-law or Son-in-law   XH  = ex-husband   BF = Boy Friend
  MIL = mother-in-law   MLC = Midlife Crisis   PG = Praise God   CS = Child Support
  FIL = father-in-law   MLD = Midlife Dimensions Ministry   PTL = Praise the Lord   ED = Erectile Dysfunction
  w/ = with   w/e = weekend   b/c = because   
  w/o = without   BRB / be right back   LOL / laughing out loud