Midlife Dimensions

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New Year's Day 2015

6:39 PM

Hopeful1

david alan - touché, I guess what I mean is, is it likely (not just possible) that I might have sort of turned a corner into a better stage of my grief in my own journey and that I might be able to not worry so much about those horrible first days repeating (emotions wise). I guess I'm just afraid that the feeling of hope and new beginnings that I have today will be replaced by terrible sadness again tomorrow.

6:42 PM

david alan

Hopeful1: You have grown. You know what to expect (to a point) and as a result, it will probably be easier for you to adjust for the continuing highs and lows that are bound to come your way.

 

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Valentine's Day - February 14, 2015

10:45 AM

buttons2

Finding nemo anyway Power Talk goes. Please stop. I don't like it when ______ it makes me feel ______. Next time can you (or maybe its next time I will _____.) I can find the link with the video and you can watch it. I also have it written at school

10:50 AM

swan

Finding Nemo - In agreement with Buttons2 - people are more receptive to "I" comments and almost always immediately close their ears and minds to "you" comments

 

 

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July 04, 2015

11:17 AM

Cricket

HopinginHim - I know there is a reason all of that happened and even where the enemy was involved, the Lord can use all of that for His good. When my husband was reconnecting, I felt the spiritual battle happening. My water heater broke and flooded my garage but a friend offered to help and the water heater was under warranty. I was having guests and my kitchen faucet broke but another friend helped repair it before guests arrived. My car had a flat tire but it was a nail and they repaired it. All of this happened in one week and I began looking up and thanking the Lord. Even when something caused my back to develop a rash and become bruised from my scratching, I went to the doctor and my husband was there and came up and hugged me. It was so obvious that the enemy was trying to discourage me and the Lord was lifting me up.

11:19 AM

HopinginHim

Cricket - That is a beautiful example of exactly the warfare that is going on and how the Lord can carry us through it. Often He doesn't lift us out of it, but is there every step of the way through it. And sometimes when I feel my grip slipping, I remember that the Lord has a much stronger hold on me and He won't let go.

 

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Halloween 2015

10:36 AM

Cricket

HopinginHim - With your son, there is a phase of desperation which we expect to level out but as long as he's still seeming to see some of his truths and moving forward in a more positive way, toward healing, that is huge. Patience is good and also affirming him and being available to listen which I know you do.

10:38 AM

HopinginHim

Cricket - Yes. I am trying (again) to look with faith. To be there when he needs me and to be a calm, strong and patient resource. I do speak with him at times of my "coach" advise to him, but always leave him to make his own decisions. I battle trying not to be discouraged and nagging when I see him making choices I don't love, but under it all he is learning things. Finding new friends is a process and a scary one at that. So I pray. But there are indeed huge praises!

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Father's Day 2016

Cricket: Diamond1 - Something that I learned early (thankfully) was something that can make it hard for our H's to return is when loved ones and friends all know the details and they feel they can't overcome the shame and can't be forgiven. Our loved ones want to protect us and they often insert themselves trying to shake sense into our H's and it tends to make matters worse.

Diamond1: Cricket - thank you for sharing that. I don't share too many details about the situation with my family. My mother is very much concerned because often times, I'm here alone at night or over the weekend. But I'm using the time to draw closer to God and to rediscover His plan for me.

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Christmas Day 2016

 

buttons2: hello ladies, we had brunch with our "kids", then our S went to work and D went to her BF's family as there are youngsters, H has gone to a friend's for a bit and I tried to take our fur baby for an hour walk. I did not realize how fast I've gotten at walking so what used to take me an hour was a push to get 45 minutes. H and I had roast beef for dinner; tomorrow we are having the "kids" again for a dinner

 

Beth: Buttons2 too bad your son had to work. But there are jobs that somebody has to work. I have worked my fair share of Christmas Day. I almost wished I had worked this year.

 

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New Year's Day 2017

Swan: Cricket - This year the kids didn't hear from my husband for Christmas, he usually at least emails, sends a card and/or will text them, but not this year. My son texted him, but hadn't heard anything back, they got worried so my daughter called the other woman, she told her that her father is fine, he is just being a jerk and ruined Christmas for everyone, they are lucky he left them out of his raging. It is so sad to hear how miserable he is making himself and that he is seemingly stuck on staying in it. I don't know the other woman, don't want to! I don't like her being in our lives, but I do have empathy for her, she is dealing with a very angry man and that has got to not be any fun. I dealt with him stressed, but angry that is an entirely different matter, poor woman.

Cricket: Swan - Wow, how strange not to contact his kids. As you've mentioned to me, sounds like they're seeing his self loathing. I know my H went through a lot of anger, particularly with the first OW. I heard they got physical in their arguments. My H never got that way with me. He actually tended to bottle up emotions rather than lose his temper which wasn't healthy either but he generally would blow, yell a moment and then walk outside to get his temper under control.

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Valentine's Day 2017

Hannah: Swan for sure. I wonder what he does now or if the ow controls everything! I also did a lot for my husband, as you know being military the wives are left to run the home.

Swan: Hannah - Exactly the military thing was what lead me to just jump in and take care of whatever he wanted, I cannot tell you how many times I heard the phrase, "could you take care of that?" and then I immediately answer, "sure", then it became my constant task. But I did it because it lifted the stress of his military obligations and… Ironically, when he was involved with the first other woman, he would often comment that I was not the boss of him (just like a toddler would say), yet he wouldn't do anything without running it past the other woman first. The second other woman is said to play stupid, but is in total control. Example: she is still in constant contact with both of her ex-husband's, one of them is even her go to if anything happens and my husband isn't home, which given his travel schedule is often. But she has also issued the no contact between my husband and I command and she limits the contact he is permitted with our children and grandson. He allows it, so it is on him as far as I am concerned. I never attempted to control him, I don't think he would have allowed it either, but she does and I have been told she has even given him chores, which my daughter says is why he spends so much time traveling for work.

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Christmas Day 2014

5:51 PM

Hopeful1

Bluesky3 I know, it's terrible but I'm really hoping it's temporary. My prayer last night was to pray that this is the first AND LAST Christmas apart. I know that's wishful thinking but a girl can dream and pray, right?

5:55 PM

swan

Hopeful1 - I believe in the power of positive thinking, there isn't any magic to it, but when we allow our minds to be filled with positive things, there is less room for the enemy to fill our minds with despair and hopelessness.

 

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Chat Room Acronyms

Guests often use acronyms to speed up their conversations. Here are a few examples for you:

I have been S from my H for 2 years. We have 3 children, S8, S13, and D16.
I have been Separated from my Husband for 2 years. We have 3 children, Son age 8, Son age 13, Daughter age 16.
  OW = Other Woman   AW  = Adulteress Woman   W  = Wife   OP = other person
  OM  = Other Man   AM  = Adulteress Man   H  = Husband   LBS = Left behind spouse
  D = divorce or daughter   S = son or sister or separated   XW  = ex-wife   GF = Girl Friend
  DIL = daughter-in-law   SIL = Sister-in-law or Son-in-law   XH  = ex-husband   BF = Boy Friend
  MIL = mother-in-law   MLC = Midlife Crisis   PG = Praise God   CS = Child Support
  FIL = father-in-law   MLD = Midlife Dimensions Ministry   PTL = Praise the Lord   ED = Erectile Dysfunction
  w/ = with   w/e = weekend   b/c = because   
  w/o = without   BRB / be right back   LOL / laughing out loud